“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Cor.14:33)
The hardest pill to swallow this year was realizing I meant so little to some people that meant the most to me. That kind of truth hits different! It will definitely humble you, it will also hurt you and teach you all at once. It’s called a wake-up call in my book, knowing that not everyone loves with the same kind of heart as you do. Some people only value you for what you can do for them or when it’s convenient for them. And the moment you stop pouring into them, you see their real intentions or you don’t see them at all, they have a way of diappearing altogether. Unfortunately for them and myself I have had to make some tough love decisions, by walking away from some relationships just so I could have mental clarity and peace. The blessing in the lesson in all of this is clarity. I hate being blindsided. I need communication and I need clarity that’s just how I roll. Be honest with me and don’t use my heart, because there are people out there that really need it and I am willing to give it. God promises to heal the brokenhearted and for that I am grateful. I confess right now I am the healed of the Lord!
I will not be anxious about anything, but in all things, every situation I will present my requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus, that’s a promise for me to stand on. (Philippians 4:6-7).
I also will not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind, so then I will be able to test and approve what God’s will is (Romans 12:2). Through much prayer for direction regarding this wake-up call the Lord has opened doors through therapy and an amazing nerosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren who is teaching me ways to have a better understanding on how the brain actually works through the renewing or rewiring of our thought process.
I am so grateful that God kows what and who we need to speaking into our life at the just the right time.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
It’s 3:05 a.m. I’ve been tossing around in my bed for the past 45 minutes trying to ignore the wakening in my spirit to no prevail, so here I am. Yesterday was my first day back writing and well I guess the Lord is making up for lost time. I feel a couple things he is speaking to me about right now. One was the words I woke up hearing, “Blood transfusion” and secondly, “Giving permission to speak into my life.” Before I went to bed I spent a couple hours reading on the Lordship of Jesus Christ and what that meant. First I’d like to say, I’ll be studying this out further so hang in there with me on this one. Reason I am sharing this with you right this moment is because the words blood transfusion could only mean that my blood count is running low and I am in need of a transfusion, a spiritual transfusion. I need the blood of Christ to fill me up with His life giving power. I am pleading the blood of Jesus over myself right now as I type, I am renewing my mind to the things of Christ so that I can discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Though I am a child of God, saved by Grace, I also still live in the present world and I am still under attack by the evil one, so I have to resist its pressure by allowing Christ Jesus to Lord over me. Surrender all things unto Him.
Skipping to “giving permission for someone to speak into my life,” two weeks ago I joined a ladies Bible study group at my church and the topic was on community. The class had been in session for two weeks already, but my first night the leader touched on giving someone permission to speak into your life. You know not everyone has permission to speak into you? Nor should you allow just anyone too. Which obviously I do not have that problem because I prefer to solve things on my own and well I am not that good at it so I thought maybe I could learn to do this. So I came home from class and immediately told my husband he had permission to speak into my life. Yeah well that lasted about a day, then I took it back. I’m a work in progress! Life was getting rougher as the week went on and I was losing more and more blood “spiritual blood” that is, I was pulling away from my life line, my source. Why do we do that? We humans can be so dumb at times it’s no wonder we are referred to as sheep in the Bible.
Fast forward, I scheduled an appointment with a therapist, one I could trust to speak into my life. I was giving this person permission, because I knew I needed help and I was not going to get it on my own. Sometimes we have to admit where we are in life and get rid of that stink’n think’n and ask for help. Of course my first help came from the Lord Himself. It was the gentle urging to go to this group and allow others to help, after all He was putting these people in my path for a reason, that I might discern His will for my life through the renewing of my mind and through the topic … “Community.” We need people to do life well. Just as Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms when he began to tire, we need our people to hold us up, that we will be able to overcome and win our battles just as Moses did.
This thing about our mind, we have got to stop letting society mold our values and behaviors, we are called to resist them. In my reading last night I was so upset with myself for just letting myself go with the flow even when it contradicts my faith, the Word of God. Real life change doesn’t just come from trying harder; it requires an inward change. You “renew your mind” by replacing worldly perspectives with God’s truth, through prayer, scripture, teachings from leaders rooted in the Word, even Therapists, of course I suggest one that relies on the teachings of Christ. As our way of thinking begins to align with God’s, that’s when we will get that spiritual clarity and be able to embrace His plans, we can see then that God’s will is “good, and pleasing and perfect”.
So, if your feeling spiritually drained or disconnected check your vital signs you may need some spiritual healing through divine blood transfusion, the ultimate source of life, Jesus Christ. He will continually restore your peace, strength, and purpose.
“The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10)
Last night there was a beautiful sky that continued on into the morning. I took pictures of it both in the evening and the morning. I made a post on social media describing how God makes everything beautiful. I felt wonderful at that moment and looking forward to a great day and then … “little fox” came along and changed everything.
27 years ago we bought our first home here in Arkansas, it wasn’t everything we would have wanted, but it became my home for the next 19 years. Coming from a background of inconsistency in having a permanent home, both as a child and as an adult, this meant more than I can explain. I use to keep track of every place I ever lived. I remembered every address, what the houses looked like, the phone numbers, I had a good memory, but that was all those places were, was memories. Eight years ago, we sold that home of 19 years and I have struggled with it this whole time. The house we bought to take the place of my home was my mother-in-laws home, her memories and my husbands memories and everyone around us their memories, five generations of memories, but not mine. I have struggled to try to make this my home because of fear of taking away their memories. But I continue to try.
Back to the “little fox.” As I was posting my daily blog I thought I should check my emails, I was expecting a response from a company I had emailed earlier in the week, when I came across a listing of my former home for sale. Suddenly looking through the 17 plus, photos of the place I began to cry. I felt as though I had just been punched in my stomach, the aching of never being able to go back to that place I once called home was literally taking my breath away. I began to see all the things I had lost since the move. My community, neighbors, my job was there, but in the move I decided I would settle for early retirement. My family was moving off, others were not coming as often as they used to and we were not making the trips we did in the past either. My grandkids once made comments about this didn’t feel like our home, it felt like Granny’s, because it was. They to grew up with memories of this place, memories of going to Granny’s. Our home was Mimi & PawPaw’s and it was at a different location than here. Pets were dying and disappearing, my husband lost his job that was suppose to take us into retirement, now we were living a very different kind of life and I no longer had my support system around me. I felt very alone, lonely was more like it. I had shingles right after we moved here for the first time, then covid hit, had that twice and nearly died the first time, ended up with breathing problems since. Brought family here from another state then the relationship fell apart. Brought a former foster of ours that was still family that was battling Leukemia, he passed after two years of trying to get to a bone marrow transplant. I went through a litter of 15 pups all by myself and did well until 6 weeks in I took them to the vet for their first series of vaccines where they contracted parvo and I lost 4 to that. My husband stayed home from work for a week and we worked day and night to keep these guys alive. My husband took another week off work to go through hospice with me and our boy before laying him to rest. I could go on for another several pages of things I lost since I made the move, but I say all this to say, “Little foxes.”
I had recently relinquished all of this loss over to the Lord when the little foxes appeared and tried to steal my joy, my hope and my peace by bringing this back up. Please hear me when I say, it’s all little foxes in the spiritual realm of life. Yes, I have lost many people and things over the years and will continue to until I make it to my final home. For me and you, if you are a believer in the One True God, Jesus Christ our Savior, then you know EVERYTHING will one day vanish.
I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future and though the little fox from this morning that decided to cause havoc in my mind and heart, he doesn’t get to stay here.
I am learning to give things over to God a whole lot quicker than I have in the past. One scripture that really stands out to me this morning is: (Psalms 30:5b) Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
Will the sadness of my former home be gone completely? No, but I can have joy in knowing that God still has great plans for my life in the here and now.
Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or the left; turn your foot away from evil. (Proverbs 4:25-27)
The scripture above is referring to, keeping your eyes on what is right. It means blocking out distractions that try to pull you off course. We can’t always control the obstacles on the path, but we can control where we look. Looking straight ahead keeps us from getting distracted. We also need to ponder (think deeply) study it out, the ground that we are walking on and plan our steps carefully. When a difficult path is coming up our reaction is really going to matter. So we need to stop and think about our choices. If we will choose each step wisely we will be able to keep our footing and we will stay safe. We have a moral responsibility to stay on track as well. We don’t need to be trying to find shortcuts or make wrong choices, no matter how hard the walk gets. I know personally how rough some paths can get and I’ve wanted an easier route myself, heck I’ve even wanted to turn around and give up. Sometimes I go on these hikes for my health & exercise, not just because I like hiking. If I take a shortcut I am taking away from what I plan to achieve and I only hurt myself. The same is true of spiritual shortcuts, not staying true to my values or character and not achieving the results I wanted.
If we will fix our vision on truth, which is the Bible, intentionally evaluate our actions, and avoid distractions, this will be the only map needed for staying on a righteous path without swerving into destructive behaviors.
If you are on the wrong path right now, your directions are off, maybe your vision is even a bit blurred. Maybe you have fallen and your bloodied from the fall, Stop! Don’t go any further. Refocus! Look at your map, look to Jesus, let him guide your path. He is so gracious and merciful and he loves you and wants you to make it to your destination, whole, healthy, and unscathed.
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If any would come after me. let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Mark 8:34)
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God after it has come with power” (Mark 8:35-38, 9:1)
The cost of discipleship includes being able to follow Jesus and to confess Him courageously. I wrote a couple days back regarding the attacks I had been receiving due to being courageous or my newfound boldness rather in speaking publicly in my blog which breadandwater.blog happens to be reaching people all over the world about Jesus Christ the Son of God. Just because people aren’t beheading me, or imprisoning me for speaking out about Jesus, there are people that don’t agree with me and will say and do things to try to shut me up. That is a type of persecution here in America. Over the past few years I have learned about surrender and that is what it is going to take to pick up your cross; complete surrender to God. It is a daily decision to deny your own selfish desires, put your ego and personal plans to death, (that’s what kind of death he is talking about), then follow Jesus’ teachings no matter the personal cost, that’s obedience. Jesus commands this in the Gospels, it is an absolute requirement for being His disciples, (Matt.16:24), (Mark 8:34) and (Luke 9:23).
Jesus meant that a true follower must be willing to put their old, self-centered life to death in order to live for Christ. Choosing God’s will over our own comfort, reputation, or worldly success. It is a daily willingness to accept the challenges and sacrifices that come with living righteously. It is a willing, active choice of surrender and obedience to God. These are areas I have been trying to exemplify for the past three years. I admit the cross can get pretty heavy at times, but I know the end results of picking it up and carrying it. I have been in another group as an admin. with a lifelong friend of mine for the past 6 years called Encouraging Each Other. I believe the Lord would have me step away from the administration part of that and pour my heart, soul and strength into my Blog. For one, my blog is under the direction of the Holy Spirit, there is an anointing on it and He tells me what to write. Encouraging Each Other can be anything that would lift another person up; such as positive sayings, quotes and testimonies of the wonderful things the Lord has done in people’s lives and I have shared many of those myself and plan to continue to. All of this is absolutely great. Except I believe the direction of my breadandwater blog is going more toward life instruction, growth, relational, and testimonial as well reflecting on the way we are living versus the way God tells us to live and of course the message and the urgency of salvation. I have been blessed to have been an administrator of Encouraging Each Other, one of the greatest parts of it for me, was welcoming new members into the group. I love seeing all the people that enjoy this group and how much it has grown. But, now it is time for me to pick up my cross and follow Jesus to where he is calling me. It has taken me forever to learn Surrender and Obedience and one day I want to hear well done good and faithful servant. As much as I want to see where he is leading me right now.
Now don’t hear what I am not saying as a Pastor I know once, actually many times would say. I am not asking y’all to leave Encouraging Each Other, matter of fact I am not leaving, but I won’t be admin. anymore, nor will I be posting my Blog on there anymore after today, but I will post words of encouragement when I have them and I will definitely be reading yours. I would like to ask any of you who have not already subscribed to my Blog if you find it of interest please do go ahead and subscribe. You will receive an email every time I post by subscribing. Or feel free to just pop in from time to time. I love all of you who are supporting me by reading now, y’all are the best and we are still family. And keep on Encouraging Each Other.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
Do you have a friend that will stick by you even in your worst times? That’s the kind of friend this scripture is talking about. Proverbs 18:23-19:4, talks about friends & companions. How some, the majority rather only stay close by as long as your fortune is good; in bad times, they disappear. I’ve experienced both as I am sure you have to. I believe that is just life. Take the good with the bad. Though I am very pleased to say, I do have a few select friends that resemble this verse above, I am blessed.
The Bible describes true friendship as a steadfast, loving covenant. Loyalty, speaking truth in love, and offering mutual support in times of hardship. True friendship is NOT a one-way street. Friends should encourage one another, be uplifting when your down, helping us keep our character in tact, when we are losing our whole mind and about to make a huge mistake. Boy, the times I can thank a friend for that one. A loyal friend will love you at all times, no facade needed, they know you and they love you, that simple. They stand by you and have your back when others are attacking you from behind. They are there no matter what the season is that you are in. Of course I personally have not experienced this one, but I hear it on the news a lot, the friend that will lay down his life for you. Give it up to our men and women in blue that every day go out and put their lives on the line for each of us. That is the ultimate example of friendship, laying down one’s life for others, as modeled by Jesus Himself. John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” We have a friend in Jesus, unlike any other friend out there. The Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 talks about his personal relationship with Christ Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. You can have that same relationship that Paul speaks of by saying this simple prayer.
I believe that you Jesus died on the cross for me and rose from the dead. I ask you right now to come into my life and to forgive me of my sins. Help me Lord to live a life pleasing to you. Thank you Jesus, for laying down your life for mine. Amen
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it on my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil.3:13-14)
Paul could not get the past out of his mind, but he refused to let his past keep him from his progress toward his goal. He wanted to forget his self-righteous past (vv.4-7). He indicates that it was an ongoing process. His goal was to have his eyes so fixed on Jesus that all he could see was the prize, the victory. He wasn’t working for his salvation but rather for a reward. When we get right with Jesus there is a reward that no man can achieve on his own. We need to leave our past in the past. Too many people including myself are or have been walking around fully clothed in regrets. Maybe there was an outcome that didn’t turn out the way you expected and then suddenly you find yourself in regret, because it was caused by your decision or action. Maybe you regret actions you never took that you should have, that is one I tend to fall into these days. Sometimes I think about something good I could have done and didn’t. Regret leads to self-blame and even guilt. We need to be more like Paul, forgetting those past mistakes, move forward, quit allowing regrets to keep us from going for the prize that God has set before us. I realize in this scripture the prize is Jesus Christ, but God also has earthly prizes if I may say, blessings he wants to bestow upon us, if we will keep our eyes on Him. Shame and regret rob us from our blessings. January 1 of this year I made a commitment to stand on this one word “Intentional.” Well can I say, I haven’t been as faithful as I intended to be to that word in a couple areas of my life. See I set a pretty big goal for myself, I wanted to be intentional about EVERY area in my life. When I began to realize I wasn’t doing very well at it guilt, shame and regret for setting such a standard for myself set in. Fortunately, God allows for repentance and do-overs. He allows us to leave our failures in the past and press-on toward the prize. For me I hold myself to a higher standard than some, so it takes me a minute to get back in the race, but I have determination and I will persevere. Paul’s life was purposeful and he was constant. I have learned many things from Paul over the years, I’ve seen myself as the old Paul and the new Paul. My goal now is to remain steadfast, no regrets, just pressing on. I would also like to give credit to a dear friend of ours from our home Church in Texas for drawing this picture and gifting it to us 30 years ago, thank you Dori.
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Matthew 6:27)
Max Lucado is one of my all time favorite authors. I love to read his books and listen to him teach, he just seems to speak my language. I don’t get rid of books I have read very often, mainly because I write in them, I take notes on things that really stick out to me and later I go back and re-read them. Well, this is one of those books, I’m about to share something he said about worry. He used two words; “whaddifs” and” howells.” Here are a couple examples of what those two words look like in a sentence. “Whaddif it rains at my wedding?” Whaddif after all my dieting, they learn that lettuce is fattening and chocolate isn’t?” “Howell I know when to discipline my kids?” “Howell we pay for our baby’s tuition?” Like I said he uses my language. Worry really does empty us of tomorrow’s strength. Worry divides the mind. The biblical word for worry (merimnao) is a compound of two Greek words, merizo (“to divide”) and nous (“the mind”). Anxiety splits our energy between today’s priorities and tomorrow’s problems. Part of our mind is on the now and the rest of it is on the not yet. That’s half-minded living.
Let’s look at it from another aspect, what else does worry cause? Worry of itself is not a disease, but it causes diseases. High blood pressure, heart trouble, migraine headaches, thyroid malfunctions and a whole slew of stomach disorders. Worry has NEVER brightened a day, solved a problem, or cured a disease, yet here’s your transparency moment with Deb …GUILTY on all accounts of worry. I know one of my biggest health issues comes from just that worrying and your probably thinking, “If you know that why are you doing it?” Good question, I’m still asking myself that to. This is just another area of life I am trying to hand over to Jesus, laying it at His feet and letting Him carry the burden. It takes practice, like anything we are trying to learn in life, practice is required. I can’t think of anything I have done in life that was a true accomplishment the very first time I tried. Thank God, that He is patient. He wants us free of anything that is keeping us from living our best life. Worry doesn’t have to be one of those things hindering my best life or yours, keep surrendering it until one day victory is yours/mine. By the way the photo in the blog hangs on my bedroom wall, I see it everyday, multiple times. I love how God is constantly ministering to me while writing these blogs. Time with Him is so rewarding, I am learning and receiving so much while sharing with y’all. To God be all the glory.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)
Understand, there are NO perfect people, EVERYONE has sin or has sinned and we are all in need of a Savior!
God looks at sin differently than we do. We have a tendency to see sin as; big sin, small sin, Not that bad, really bad. I just told a little white lie at least I’m not like So & So, God will forgive me. God sees sin as a serious transgression that separates us from Him, disobedience and not holding up to the standard He set before us, sin is sin and that’s that. Sin separates us from God, because God is holy, He cannot tolerate sin because it destroys the lives of His creation/us, this is a spiritual death. He loves us so much even in our worst of worst kind of sin He still gives us a way to be redeemed from the destruction of our sins. He says, “If we will confess our sins, turn away from them, and accept Christ, He promises that He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”.
It’s time we quit letting sin dominate our lives, it is possible to live a holy life. Will we ever be perfect? No, but why not do what you can to be the best you can? If God is willing to provide us a way out through faith in Jesus, why not take it? It’s a free gift, who doesn’t like gifts? Underserved gifts at that. I know I don’t deserve what Jesus did for me on that cross, but He did it and that is my gift from Him. Have you ever tried to give a gift to someone and they refused it? Maybe they were hesitant about receiving it because they didn’t feel they deserved it. Do you remember how that made you feel, the giver of the gift? Maybe you didn’t have the extra cash to get the gift so you sacrificed something else so you could afford it. Maybe you made this person something, it came straight from your heart. When I think about all that Jesus went through, so that I could receive His gift, it literally tore me up inside when I realized one day that I wasn’t receiving it because I didn’t think I was worthy of it and how that had to make him feel. Like He didn’t do enough, maybe He should have suffered a little more, then I would have felt worthy of the gift. Seriously y’all? Get rid of the pride. Again, I didn’t deserve it, you don’t deserve it, but guess what? He wants you and I to have it, and though it doesn’t cost us a thing, it cost Him everything He had. I get that we have a sin nature, but we also have saving grace. I feel like I know that better than anyone. My sins have been more than I could bear so I am grateful for the gift and you should be to. I honestly don’t know what this new thing is God is doing in me, there seems to be new boldness rising up in me that I never had before. Maybe it’s because we are getting closer to Jesus returning or maybe it’s just me getting closer to going to be with Him. Whatever the reason, there seems to be an urgency within me to get the message across to everyone I can, that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). Y’all whatever your sin is, it’s not worth it, let it go, let Jesus redeem you from it, take the gift.
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account (Hebrews 4:13)
I’m still thinking about yesterday’s writing and how I shared a little more about my past sins and how being transparent is so important. I have been struggling lately with peoples hidden agendas, dishonesty, insincerity, trust in general. A real eye-opener for me has been, if someone will lie to you, they will lie about you. As I stated several times now, I am doing my best in being transparent in sharing my life do’s and don’ts with y’all, so in saying all of this I admit I have been guilty of what I am sharing about today. I decided it would be good to look up the topic of transparency in my Bible and see just what it has to say about it. I never want to fall into that trap again and prayerfully this will help you from falling into it as well.
We find that NOTHING is hidden from God as in the scripture above. Honesty is necessary for a restored relationship and cleansing with Him. We are encouraged to invite God to search our hearts, as in Ps. 139:23-24. So my first bit of advice is if you have been dishonest with anyone, now is the time to come clean, cleanse yourself from all unrighteousness. I know that might be scary, because some things we would like to pretend never happened or were never said and we feel shame. If you can’t do that right now then take it to God first, remember He already knows. Repent, ask Him to help you reveal the truth, He will I promise, remember I’m being transparent which also means I have been in this place before. In Ephesians 4:2: put away falsehood and speak truthfully to each other. James 5:16: encourages confessing sins to one another and praying for each other to bring about healing. So it’s more than just confession, through prayer and support from the one you bring it to, you can be healed of the hurt or the wrong doing. On a side note; can I just say, “making excuses for what you did or said or trying to justify the why, is NOT true confession”.
Transparency means walking in the light and not having secret, sinful lives (Eph. 5:8-13). Godly sincerity or walking in truth (2 cor. 1:12). This life can be hard enough at times without having the sin of lies to carry around to. For me personally, I know I am not perfect and I am transparent in letting that be known, but at the same time I carry baggage of sorts around with me that are extremely heavy and I have to drop to my feet time and time again at let Jesus have it, He is the One equipped to carry my sins, not me. Once left at the feet of Jesus I am FREE, free from whatever was hidden, oppression, guilt and shame. Don’t let the weight of these things keep you from living a life of freedom.
1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us ….”
What are you waiting for? There is Freedom and Power in being transparent.
Bread and Water 