Tag: marriage

You Can’t Always Chose The Path You Walk, but You Can Choose the Way You Walk It.

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or the left; turn your foot away from evil. (Proverbs 4:25-27)

The scripture above is referring to, keeping your eyes on what is right. It means blocking out distractions that try to pull you off course. We can’t always control the obstacles on the path, but we can control where we look. Looking straight ahead keeps us from getting distracted. We also need to ponder (think deeply) study it out, the ground that we are walking on and plan our steps carefully. When a difficult path is coming up our reaction is really going to matter. So we need to stop and think about our choices. If we will choose each step wisely we will be able to keep our footing and we will stay safe. We have a moral responsibility to stay on track as well. We don’t need to be trying to find shortcuts or make wrong choices, no matter how hard the walk gets. I know personally how rough some paths can get and I’ve wanted an easier route myself, heck I’ve even wanted to turn around and give up. Sometimes I go on these hikes for my health & exercise, not just because I like hiking. If I take a shortcut I am taking away from what I plan to achieve and I only hurt myself. The same is true of spiritual shortcuts, not staying true to my values or character and not achieving the results I wanted.

If we will fix our vision on truth, which is the Bible, intentionally evaluate our actions, and avoid distractions, this will be the only map needed for staying on a righteous path without swerving into destructive behaviors.

If you are on the wrong path right now, your directions are off, maybe your vision is even a bit blurred. Maybe you have fallen and your bloodied from the fall, Stop! Don’t go any further. Refocus! Look at your map, look to Jesus, let him guide your path. He is so gracious and merciful and he loves you and wants you to make it to your destination, whole, healthy, and unscathed.

Keep our eyes on Jesus

The Dilemma of Quitting

If I say, “I will not mention him or speak anymore in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot. (Jer. 20:9)

God does not allow Jeremiah to stop preaching. He has put this burning fire and desire within him that if he were to try to stop it would be to painful, the words are in him and they have to come out. He has enemies and Jeremiah’s ministry was a fight. People whispering behind his back, turning his words against him, planning terror for him on every side. They were watching for his fall, hoping for an incorrect prediction. God did give Jeremiah a heads up in the beginning that these things would happen by saying, “They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you” (Jeremiah 1:19).

I’ve been in a battle for quite some time it seems, because my perception of life is very different than that of many. I hear things from God that cause me to say or not say things, act or not act regarding certain situations and because of that people have turn their back on me, or talked behind my back, left our relationship, tried to attack me in ways that completely blow my mind. But then, I am reminded of Jeremiah and all he went through all because God had put the fire inside of him. As much as he wanted to quit, as much as I want to quit at times, because the battle is raging all around me, I cannot and neither did he. There is this unquenchable, unshakeable truth inside of me, a pressure like feeling that no matter how bad I want to quit, I cannot. Just recently it was so bad, that I to like Jeremiah had wished I had never been born. People can be so hateful at times and you wonder why am I doing this? That is why. Be the difference, be the light in a dark world. Jeremiah’s pain and confusion required both careful thought and a caring heart. Through all the suffering I read about in Jeremiah’s story I realize that I have been given a God-given passion to spread the good news. I know I vent and speak of giving up. I also know there is a fire not easily extinguished. And I know that the God who started this in me will sustain me until he is finished with me, just as the Word in Jer. 1:19. God listens to my prayers, hears the cry of my heart, comforts my soul and toughens me up. He even at times stuns me in how he will subtly change my situation in a different direction just to provide me with a hope to keep going. Jeremiah was not a quitter and neither am I.

No pain …No gain

Authenticity

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2)

An authentic U.S. flag must strictly adhere to the standards outlined in the U.S. Flag Code. Such as the Colors: Red, White and Blue. Specific shades are “White” “Old Glory Red” and “Old Glory Blue”. Variations (such as black-and-white or altering colors) are not legally considered authentic versions of the U.S. flag. The Elements: There are thirteen alternating horizontal stripes (7 red, 6 white) representing the original colonies, and a blue canton containing 50 white stars representing the current 50 states. The Union: The 50 stars are arranged in nine alternating rows of six and five stars, staggered horizontally and vertically. There are federal laws requiring purchased or displayed American flags be clearly labeled with their country of origin. The FMAA LAbel: Flag Manufacturers Association of America certified seal, guaranteeing they are made entirely in the U.S. by U.S. labor. And then of course there is the Material Integrity: Genuine outdoor flags are typically crafted from durable, weather-resistant materials like heavyweight nylon, spun polyester, or cotton, built to withstand sun and UV damage.

There is a biblically authentic way of living. It means first seeing our self as who God created us to be, walking in truth, and reflecting Christ in our daily life. It’s surrendering our identity, desires and purposes for Him, allowing His love and grace to shape every aspect of our life.

Who am I in Christ? The world likes to define our identity by success, the way we look, our achievements or lack of, but God defines us by His love and purpose. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come. (2 Cor. 5:17) There we have our root of identity, it’s in Christ, being born again. Authentically made new by Him.

Jesus also calls us to be truthful in our words, actions, and relationships. People of integrity, not pretending to be someone we are not. We are to live boldly regarding our faith. Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven (Matt. 5:16). We are to be seeking God’s approval not man’s. Galatians 1:10, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Jesus is the perfect example of authenticity. We need to stay connected to Jesus on a daily basis so that we can live a genuine life of authenticity through spending time in His Word, prayer, and worshipping Him. Remember He is the vine and we are the branches and we cannot do anything without Him, (John 15:5).

Like the flag here is the standard for living authentically in Jesus, embracing His truth, walking in love, standing firm in our faith, living as the person God created us to be, glorifying Him and inspiring others to seek His truth. Be bold, be real, and let your life reflect Christ.

Be Authentic

Friends

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

Do you have a friend that will stick by you even in your worst times? That’s the kind of friend this scripture is talking about. Proverbs 18:23-19:4, talks about friends & companions. How some, the majority rather only stay close by as long as your fortune is good; in bad times, they disappear. I’ve experienced both as I am sure you have to. I believe that is just life. Take the good with the bad. Though I am very pleased to say, I do have a few select friends that resemble this verse above, I am blessed.

The Bible describes true friendship as a steadfast, loving covenant. Loyalty, speaking truth in love, and offering mutual support in times of hardship. True friendship is NOT a one-way street. Friends should encourage one another, be uplifting when your down, helping us keep our character in tact, when we are losing our whole mind and about to make a huge mistake. Boy, the times I can thank a friend for that one. A loyal friend will love you at all times, no facade needed, they know you and they love you, that simple. They stand by you and have your back when others are attacking you from behind. They are there no matter what the season is that you are in. Of course I personally have not experienced this one, but I hear it on the news a lot, the friend that will lay down his life for you. Give it up to our men and women in blue that every day go out and put their lives on the line for each of us. That is the ultimate example of friendship, laying down one’s life for others, as modeled by Jesus Himself. John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” We have a friend in Jesus, unlike any other friend out there. The Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 talks about his personal relationship with Christ Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. You can have that same relationship that Paul speaks of by saying this simple prayer.

I believe that you Jesus died on the cross for me and rose from the dead. I ask you right now to come into my life and to forgive me of my sins. Help me Lord to live a life pleasing to you. Thank you Jesus, for laying down your life for mine. Amen

I have a friend in Jesus! Now you do to.

Regret

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it on my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil.3:13-14)

Paul could not get the past out of his mind, but he refused to let his past keep him from his progress toward his goal. He wanted to forget his self-righteous past (vv.4-7). He indicates that it was an ongoing process. His goal was to have his eyes so fixed on Jesus that all he could see was the prize, the victory. He wasn’t working for his salvation but rather for a reward. When we get right with Jesus there is a reward that no man can achieve on his own. We need to leave our past in the past. Too many people including myself are or have been walking around fully clothed in regrets. Maybe there was an outcome that didn’t turn out the way you expected and then suddenly you find yourself in regret, because it was caused by your decision or action. Maybe you regret actions you never took that you should have, that is one I tend to fall into these days. Sometimes I think about something good I could have done and didn’t. Regret leads to self-blame and even guilt. We need to be more like Paul, forgetting those past mistakes, move forward, quit allowing regrets to keep us from going for the prize that God has set before us. I realize in this scripture the prize is Jesus Christ, but God also has earthly prizes if I may say, blessings he wants to bestow upon us, if we will keep our eyes on Him. Shame and regret rob us from our blessings. January 1 of this year I made a commitment to stand on this one word “Intentional.” Well can I say, I haven’t been as faithful as I intended to be to that word in a couple areas of my life. See I set a pretty big goal for myself, I wanted to be intentional about EVERY area in my life. When I began to realize I wasn’t doing very well at it guilt, shame and regret for setting such a standard for myself set in. Fortunately, God allows for repentance and do-overs. He allows us to leave our failures in the past and press-on toward the prize. For me I hold myself to a higher standard than some, so it takes me a minute to get back in the race, but I have determination and I will persevere. Paul’s life was purposeful and he was constant. I have learned many things from Paul over the years, I’ve seen myself as the old Paul and the new Paul. My goal now is to remain steadfast, no regrets, just pressing on. I would also like to give credit to a dear friend of ours from our home Church in Texas for drawing this picture and gifting it to us 30 years ago, thank you Dori.

Half-Minded Living

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Matthew 6:27)

Max Lucado is one of my all time favorite authors. I love to read his books and listen to him teach, he just seems to speak my language. I don’t get rid of books I have read very often, mainly because I write in them, I take notes on things that really stick out to me and later I go back and re-read them. Well, this is one of those books, I’m about to share something he said about worry. He used two words; “whaddifs” and” howells.” Here are a couple examples of what those two words look like in a sentence. “Whaddif it rains at my wedding?” Whaddif after all my dieting, they learn that lettuce is fattening and chocolate isn’t?” “Howell I know when to discipline my kids?” “Howell we pay for our baby’s tuition?” Like I said he uses my language. Worry really does empty us of tomorrow’s strength. Worry divides the mind. The biblical word for worry (merimnao) is a compound of two Greek words, merizo (“to divide”) and nous (“the mind”). Anxiety splits our energy between today’s priorities and tomorrow’s problems. Part of our mind is on the now and the rest of it is on the not yet. That’s half-minded living.

Let’s look at it from another aspect, what else does worry cause? Worry of itself is not a disease, but it causes diseases. High blood pressure, heart trouble, migraine headaches, thyroid malfunctions and a whole slew of stomach disorders. Worry has NEVER brightened a day, solved a problem, or cured a disease, yet here’s your transparency moment with Deb …GUILTY on all accounts of worry. I know one of my biggest health issues comes from just that worrying and your probably thinking, “If you know that why are you doing it?” Good question, I’m still asking myself that to. This is just another area of life I am trying to hand over to Jesus, laying it at His feet and letting Him carry the burden. It takes practice, like anything we are trying to learn in life, practice is required. I can’t think of anything I have done in life that was a true accomplishment the very first time I tried. Thank God, that He is patient. He wants us free of anything that is keeping us from living our best life. Worry doesn’t have to be one of those things hindering my best life or yours, keep surrendering it until one day victory is yours/mine. By the way the photo in the blog hangs on my bedroom wall, I see it everyday, multiple times. I love how God is constantly ministering to me while writing these blogs. Time with Him is so rewarding, I am learning and receiving so much while sharing with y’all. To God be all the glory.

Is Your Mouth Saved?

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

How many times in life have you said things then you pray, “if only I could take that back?”

It’s not really a mouth problem, it’s a heart problem. I have to ask God daily to search me, know my heart ….see if there is any offensive way in me. That’s scriptural y’all. If we are going to start speaking right we are going to need to examine our heart, what’s in there? Is it deep-seated roots of bitterness? I’ve had to do some up-rooting in that area. Maybe hidden sin, sin your not even aware of that is why we ask God to reveal things to us. I have battled with the unknown cause of things time and time again, then suddenly, God reveals something I had forgotten all about and in a moment of repentance everything changes. God wants to purify our hearts so when we speak, out of the mouth flows issues of life. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Our words are either building up or destroying, either bringing encouragement or inflicting harm and shaping destinies. I have caused so much damage in my own life due to words I have spoken, all because of the issues of my heart. That’s where the scripture verse says, “they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof,” that’s the consequences of what you say, it will eventually return to you. You know our speech reflects our internal character to. I’ve been guilty of having the character of speaking death into my own life as well as other people by, gossiping, encouraging fear by speaking possibilities of something happening “what IF?,” I have even created conflicts in relationship due to words I have spoken. These are not things I am proud of, but seriously I write in transparency. As I always say, “I am a sinner in need of a Savior.” Thank you Jesus for saving me, and yes my mouth needs saving to. I do speak life as well. I try to encourage people just like in writing the breadandwater blog or Encouraging Each Other Facebook Group my friend and I have had for the past 5 plus years. I have gotten better about speaking truth, the Word over people’s lives, building in them a hope for their future or whatever they may be going through at the moment. My husband likes doing little construction projects occasionally and I have watched him use his tools to tear things down then turn around and build something beautiful with those same tools. Words are like tools; either to build people up or a weapon that breaks spirits. So the question here, is our mouth saved? Well I’d say is your heart healthy? Do you have the love of Jesus living in you? Do you even have Jesus in you, first and foremost? If the answer is yes to those questions, then I believe you can have a saved mouth. Like all things in life, it’s a choice. How we speak is a choice. We need to start doing more self-examining, I’m speaking to myself here, just saying. Start discerning the thoughts and intentions of your heart, why you say what you say. Something else I have learned over the past year, it that it is always better to respond versus react. Response can sometimes be silent. Reaction can lead to words that may cause regret. I have experienced enough regret to last a lifetime and again. Final word for today …

Shalom

Peace Is A Priority

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)

Number one priority for actively pursuing peace involves being in harmony with others. Though that is not always possible, so I’ll share another scripture which says, (if possible, live peaceably with all) Romans 12:18. That takes a little pressure off of me because sometimes it takes time to heal from being hurt, to forgive or be forgiven before I am able to find that peace. Hate is a strong word, but I am going to use it in expressing my feelings on discord, “I hate it.” Having unresolved issues with someone is one of the worst feelings I could have. I’ve lived my whole life as a people pleaser until recently. I have learned my mental and emotional well being is very important to me and I have made a deliberate decision not to allow anyone to steal my joy purposely amongst other things. My focus for peace is about more than people though. I have hobbies, different ministries I am involved in, home projects, etc. obviously all these things take time. This requires prioritizing because if I don’t life becomes total chaos,and chaos is definitely not peace. I have become intentional or as Charlie Brown in the caption above said, “I make deliberate life choices.” The beginning of this year I received a word which I have written about before, “Intentional.” One of the things I have been intentional about this year is protecting my peace at all cost. I had to take a step back and look at some of the different ministries I was involved in and let a couple things go to free up my time to better the other ministry work as well as give me a break here and there. I’ve gotten rid of things in my home that were making for unnecessary workload, when I had more than I could do already. Did some scaling back on monitarial things that weren’t necessary. Took a sabbatical from social media. Stopped taking every call/text that came across my phone. Busyness can really rob you of your peace. On a spiritual note regarding peace, I have found that humility is huge. You know you can just be quiet, you don’t have to fight about things, that’s never the solution anyway. Being right in a disagreement is overrated anyway, conflict always results in loss of peace. I think that’s called being PRIDEFUL. So I would rather choose peace over trying to be right about my opinion. Like another Blog I wrote; Mind Your Own Biscuits and Life Will Be Gravy …that’s Peace right there now, just say’n. Keep to yourself and don’t allow other people to bring you into their drama. They say, experience is one of life’s greatest teachers, but the Word of God is the best teacher. Do it right the first time and you won’t have any regrets.

What regrets are you experiencing right now? Do you need to seek after or pursue peace? Do you need to unload some things from an overburdened lifestyle? What do you need to be deliberate about to receive peace in your life?

Wedding Crashers

Proverbs 17:22 says, “Laughter is like a good medicine.”

Everyday we need to take our medicine. Find something that makes you laugh. See the humor in life. Put a smile on. Be friendly. Be good natured. Learn to laugh! Laughter is powerful and free accessible medicine, all natural. I like all natural remedies. Some of the benefits are: It lowers stress hormones, increases immune cells, reduces disease risk and boost cardiovascular health. It relaxes muscles through the release of endorphins, which is a natural pain relief. It increases serotonin and dopamine, causing a better mood as well as giving us the ability to see things in a new perspective when approached with challenging situations. When we share laughter with others we are able to connect better and resolve conflicts.

I have a newfound love for laughter. When I am faced with a heaviness or a difficult situation, mostly a place where I just can’t see past it at the moment, finding something to laugh about brings a calming effect and then I can focus on whatever it is that I am needing to deal with. I just have to loosen the load so to speak. Every time you are able to find some humor in a situation, you win. I love to joke around not in a malicious kind of way, but one that brings others to laughter, I feel a sense of connection when that happens. Everybody needs someone to make them laugh when they think that they’ll never smile again. In Proverbs laughter is portrayed as a gift from God, a sign of joy, and a therapeutic force. When we laugh, we neither think, grieve, or feel. In Eccl. 3:4, it’s a natural part of life’s rhythm, “a time to weep and a time to laugh.” Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine …LOL. My husband and I love to laugh, we laugh at some of the craziest things, but the best times are when we are laughing so hard we are crying and trying to stop but can’t and end up laughing even harder and longer. I also love it when I hear someone else laughing uncontrollably, it causes me to start laughing and I may not even know what it is about it just becomes contagious.

I challenge you today to think about something really funny, whether from your past, an experience that was really bazaar, just something …and begin to laugh. I promise you will feel so much release from the mundane, or just happier than you already are.

Learn to Laugh …Life is much better when you are ~

The Heart of the Matter is the Matter of the Heart

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

In the movie the Wizard of Oz, the Tin Man wants a heart to feel emotions like love, kindness and sorrow, believing that without one, he cannot love. In the beginning he explains his need for a heart and later he notes, “Now I know I’ve got a heart because it’s breaking”.

Tina Turner sings a song, “What’s Love Got to Do With It”. This was a song about anti-love, keeping relationships casual and physical, rather than emotional, to avoid heartbreak. Its focus is on, distrust, emotions driven by past pain. It’s about protecting oneself from future hurts by not allowing themselves to fall in love. The chorus: “What’s love got to do, got to do with it? What’s love but a secondhand emotion? What’s love got to do, got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” This secondhand emotion suggests that emotional intensity is less important than physical experience. Tina Turner stated in an interview in 1984 that she personally believed “love has everything to do with everything,” even though the song fit the “liberated” and faster-paced mindset of the time. The song inevitably denies the importance of emotions.

The movie is a fairytale, the song is based on an era in time, but what does God have to say about the matter of the heart? God views the heart as the center of human personality-encompassing intellect, emotion, and will-and the primary indicator or spiritual condition. As humans we tend to look at the outward appearance, God looks directly at the heart as in the Scripture (1 Sa. 16:7), which is often described as naturally deceitful, sinful, and in need of divine transformation. Scripture also speaks of the heart being wicked; filled with evil thoughts, immorality, and greed. Jesus taught that the heart is the source of all behavior, that what defiles a person comes from within, including evil thoughts, murder, and adultery. God says, he searches the heart, he tests it looking for evidence of His spirit, and then he refines it and blesses it according to our conduct; [“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deed.”] I as many of you reading this have experienced our own story of emotions on the matter of the heart. As horrible as the brokenness and the wounds that we have been carrying from the emotions of the heart are, there is GOOD NEWS. In the Word of God it says, broken hearts are not abandoned, but are the focus of His intimacy, healing, and restoration. God draws near to the brokenhearted, offering to bind up wounds, exchange the emotional ashes for beauty, and transform painful experiences into a testimony of His love and grace. He saves the crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18). He turns sorrow into joy (Is. 61:1). No matter how shattered the circumstances of your life may seem…”preaching to myself here,” God is the restorer of the damage done. God will use these moments of brokenness to draw me and you closer to Him, a place where His strength and love abound and this is the heart of the matter.