Open Wounds

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the contrite in spirit.” (Ps.34:18)

Up close and personal today. There are some ares in my life that I am still not able to share about because the wounds have not healed and they are susceptible to infection. I believe there are many that can relate to this. Issues of the heart are no joking matter, they are real like the breath in my lungs. Some days it feels as if healing is impossible, when every little thing that touches it causes the wound to begin bleeding again. Yet I know I am not broken I am simply in a place of deep transition, transitioning into the person God wants me to be. I know that if I turn to Him with this unbearable pain He will be there to heal my wounds but sometimes it is still a hard thing to do. I cannot rush the process though because there is work being done, I have to trust the process. Believe it or not, crying and feeling the pain is not a sign of crumbling but rather releasing and letting the healing begin. Sometimes while the wound is in this state you have to stay away from the thing that caused the injury in the first place, creating space for emotional detachment. I write because this is an outlet for me to release and process my emotions. I find that listening to worship music is a great help, because the lyrics are those that bring truth and good thoughts to my mind. I begin focusing on the things that are lovely, pure and of good report versus the thing that has me broken at the time. Nature is my go to place, it has a way of putting me in a completely different mood, relieves the stress of it all. Sometimes I fall into isolation, never a good thing, being with others is crucial to healing. God will use the right people to speak the right things to you that you cannot hear at that very moment. Whatever we are going through that is keeping this wound from healing completely does not define who we are, our future or our worth. Instead we need to see this is a chance to grow stronger and wiser. Don’t worry about the situation, just focus on your own recovery. Let God do what you cannot do. Obviously I am talking to myself here as well as you. Again I am processing, what I need to do in order to receive my healing. The scripture in Psalms tells us that God is not distant, but active in comforting those in pain. He offers us comfort, He is present and He will heal those with shattered emotions or crushed spirits. Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. He is our refuge when overwhelmed, our strength when hope seems lost and He promises that heartbreak will not have the final word.

Okay, I feel better … how about you?

Life is a Gamble …Unless

Whatever one sows, that he will also reap (Gal.6:7)

Yesterday I was at church and my Pastor was speaking about the power of a purposeful life. Blessings and curses. Seeds being sown. Sowing seed in a famine. This past week I felt as though my life was heading into a season of famine. There just seemed to be death all around me, not physical death, though there have been those as well and several illnesses that looked to be leading in that direction. But emotional, spiritual, relational death. I realize the word famine means the most severe form of hunger crisis, an extreme shortage of food, that brings about death, but I was feeling starved in these other areas of my life. Deprivation; lacking the nourishment my soul needed. I am not a boaster, but I am going to say that my heart is BIG and when depleted it is like poverty in its most extreme way. I reach a place where I don’t see where I have any seeds left to sow. Anything left I must feed to my myself, because I am about to parish, but then I heard my Pastor say, “sow the seed even when your tears are the only watering the seed gets.” I realized at that moment I had to make a choice, I was about to gamble with life or death. I could shrivel up and die inside or I could pray. I had the choice to use the seed of prayer, watered with my tears to see life spring back. It really wasn’t that hard of a decision to make because of my relationship with the Lord. I know how many times in the past He has had to breathe life back into me due to circumstances when I was literally dying inside. Still we see it as a gamble many times trusting, if He will do it this time. When I left the church I knew what I needed to do, what choice I would make, I know what I believe and Who I believe in. Because of what I was feeling, that starvation inside of me, I knew what it would take to replenish and nourish me back to health. I knew the WORD; I will reap a harvest, “IF” I don’t give up (Gal. 6:9). I needed reminded of that Word. I believe there are many people that are gambling with their lives. Some of you are gambling with your eternal life, where you are going to spend it. You haven’t made the choice, your still rolling the dice. Can I just be honest for a minute? Gambling is not the answer EVER. You may have some good days, win Big, but it won’t last. There is only one right choice. Surrender your gambling addiction, trust the One who gave you life. There is no gamble there, it is life or death, so choose life.

God said in Deuteronomy 30:19, “I set before you life and death, blessing and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants will live.”

Stop Gambling

The Circle of Life

And I am sure of this, that he that began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil. 1:6)

God is the one who starts the circle of life within us and who promises to complete that work, ensuring the circle is not without purpose. I am looking deeper into the things God has already done in my life, the things He is doing right now and looking forward to the things He will do as I am approaching the end of my circle. I love the fact that He says, He will complete that work. I can know that I will not leave this world unfinished, without purpose of why I was here. Unlike the ferris wheel, just a repetitive loop going round and round, God takes everything in my life, the good and bad and weaves it together to fulfil His ultimate purpose. Again, my circle ends with purpose. The Bible describes the “circle of life”-birth, labor, and death-as a natural, repeating pattern ordained by God. In the circle of life we find hope, through Jesus Christ for an eternal life. The true fulment of God’s purpose, this is the actual completed work, His purpose in all believers. The complete circle of Life is; a life of being born; birth to eternal life on a new earth, that is completion of the circle of life. Wherever you are in your circle, whether beginning, end or somewhere in the middle and you want to finish the complete circle of life, there is a step you must take. In the Gospel of John in the Bible speaks on that. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” That’s full circle y’all. Don’t spend your life like the ferris wheel in that repetitive loop, go the full circle, ask Jesus into your heart and make sure your circle is completed.

Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Now your circle is complete

Huh …I Did Not Know That

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee” (Hosea 4:6)

Talking active rejection here, not ignorance. The passage says, “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you…” (Hosea 4:6). The people of Israel chose to forget God’s law and ignored His teachings, leading to their own destruction. When we reject God’s laws He has the right and ability to keep us from His blessings and protection over us, allowing us to face the consequences of our actions, just as he did with Israel. Good news y’all, if we will enter into an intimate relationship with Him, “Know Him,” that’s knowledge, then we can understand His commandments. We have to put forth effort, we are held responsible for our actions or lack of, so make the effort to learn. Don’t deliberately ignore God’s ways, He gives us commands/rules if you may, to protect us because He loves us and wants good things for us. I have been observing the world around me a lot lately and this is going to sound like something I heard my grandparents say when I was younger, but it is what I am seeing and hearing. Modern society is morally declining. I have been more diligent than ever before in sharing the Gospel message with ALL people. Warning guys!!! the end is only getting closer. Don’t let the lack of knowledge destroy you. Here are three scripture references in the old testament I want to share:(1) “Therefore My people will go into exile for their lack of understanding; their dignitaries are starving and their masses are parched with thirst.” (Isaiah 5:13). (2) “Because they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the LORD…” (Proverbs 1:29) (3) “For my people are foolish; they know me not; they are stupid children; they have no understanding. They are ‘wise’-in doing evil! But how to do good they know not.” (Jeremiah 4:22) In summary of Hosea 4:6 is a warning that spiritual ignorance-specifically the active rejection of God’s Word-leads to destruction. Words of Encouragement, I’ve got Good News. You can have life; a good life, one with God’s blessings and protection for you and your family, it all begins with a right relationship with Jesus. Being righteous is simply being in right standing in Him. Maybe you like my past self have been uneducated in the things of God and please, like a Pastor I once sat under would say, “don’t hear what I’m not saying;” because I am still a work in progress. Maybe you don’t know what the Bible has to say regarding how you show act, talk, or live your life. You can ask God to help you with that and the other Good News is; “If any lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to EVERYONE generously without rebuke, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Did you catch that? Wisdom is available to ANYONE. This is the kind wisdom used for navigating through life’s trials and making godly decisions, rather than relying on your thinking and understanding. You matter and the kind of life you live matters. God wants only the BEST for you. Don’t self-destruct.

Peace Is A Priority

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)

Number one priority for actively pursuing peace involves being in harmony with others. Though that is not always possible, so I’ll share another scripture which says, (if possible, live peaceably with all) Romans 12:18. That takes a little pressure off of me because sometimes it takes time to heal from being hurt, to forgive or be forgiven before I am able to find that peace. Hate is a strong word, but I am going to use it in expressing my feelings on discord, “I hate it.” Having unresolved issues with someone is one of the worst feelings I could have. I’ve lived my whole life as a people pleaser until recently. I have learned my mental and emotional well being is very important to me and I have made a deliberate decision not to allow anyone to steal my joy purposely amongst other things. My focus for peace is about more than people though. I have hobbies, different ministries I am involved in, home projects, etc. obviously all these things take time. This requires prioritizing because if I don’t life becomes total chaos,and chaos is definitely not peace. I have become intentional or as Charlie Brown in the caption above said, “I make deliberate life choices.” The beginning of this year I received a word which I have written about before, “Intentional.” One of the things I have been intentional about this year is protecting my peace at all cost. I had to take a step back and look at some of the different ministries I was involved in and let a couple things go to free up my time to better the other ministry work as well as give me a break here and there. I’ve gotten rid of things in my home that were making for unnecessary workload, when I had more than I could do already. Did some scaling back on monitarial things that weren’t necessary. Took a sabbatical from social media. Stopped taking every call/text that came across my phone. Busyness can really rob you of your peace. On a spiritual note regarding peace, I have found that humility is huge. You know you can just be quiet, you don’t have to fight about things, that’s never the solution anyway. Being right in a disagreement is overrated anyway, conflict always results in loss of peace. I think that’s called being PRIDEFUL. So I would rather choose peace over trying to be right about my opinion. Like another Blog I wrote; Mind Your Own Biscuits and Life Will Be Gravy …that’s Peace right there now, just say’n. Keep to yourself and don’t allow other people to bring you into their drama. They say, experience is one of life’s greatest teachers, but the Word of God is the best teacher. Do it right the first time and you won’t have any regrets.

What regrets are you experiencing right now? Do you need to seek after or pursue peace? Do you need to unload some things from an overburdened lifestyle? What do you need to be deliberate about to receive peace in your life?

Obstacles

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10)

God views obstacles as opportunities to strengthen our faith, build character, and to show us signs of His power so that we do not quit. He promises that His grace is sufficient to overcome challenges, encouraging us believers to trust Him completely rather than relying on our own understanding and He will often times use trials to prepare us for our calling. The last two days the Lord has been revealing things to me regarding my calling. The what, why’s, how long it’s been in the works and the reasons why it has taken so long for him to reveal this to me. One of the reasons is my faith wasn’t where it needed to be in order to believe for certain things. I had to endure some things in order to come to a place where I was so weak that I would get out of God’s way so that He could show me His strength and perfect my weakness, build that faith in Him. These obstacles we go through and not always signs to turn back, or give in, it can actually be meant to overcome something through prayer, fasting and trust. Again building our faith. I had and still have things to overcome, God has done some pruning in my life, cut away a lot of dead limbs so to speak, but there’s still more to be done. Through all this I know He is purifying my purpose, asuring the ultimate goal aligns with His will versus my personal comfort, because none of this has been comfortable, yet His will is being done. This year through my walk of intentionality, I have learned to trust God in ways I never have. I have quit trying to figure things out in my own mind and went right to the Word or prayer for answers. I have been able to release much of my anxieties simply be standing in agreement with the Word of God, not only that, but I have actually been faithful in taking steps forward, all the while keeping my focus on God’s power rather than the size of my obstacle. Growing in faith! As for the revelation of why it took so long, one reason was the path needed to be prepared ahead of time. #2, God’s plan was to use my own personal experiences, my background if you will as well as, #3 educating me in order to do what I was called to do. I had to learn how to submit and surrender, I had to learn obedience and how to walk in my gifts. I had to learn to keep my heart aligned with God and continue pursuing His purpose for me. I had to learn to lean in and lean on Him. Find all the right tools, like fasting and prayer. How to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, direct and help me when I needed it, instead me trying to play Holy Ghost Jr. with God myself. I’ve had a lot of obstacles getting in the way of my calling for quite some time now. I began understanding partly what my calling was a few years back and God has been revealing more and more of it all the time, but only to the point I am able to walk in it. Bottom line, God did not allow these obstacles to prevent me from my calling, all along He was preparing me for it.

Words of encouragement; Patience is a virtue. Endure the wait or difficult situations, keep your composure, and trust God. Continue working toward what you hear the Lord calling you to. Don’t give up.

Less is MORE

He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30)

I chose this photo today because as you can see there isn’t much in this room. There really isn’t anything here to distract you from focusing on one particular thing. Which is the object lesson in decreasing our self and allowing more of God in our life. We have to get rid of things that are in our way, distracting us from having clarity, 20/20 vision and excellent hearing. We need to be resting in Him, not allowing our minds to wander focusing on everything around us. We should be wanting to go deeper in our relationship with God and allowing Him to go deeper within us. Ridding us from the things that don’t serve a purpose in our life and that are keeping us from receiving all that He would have for us. I think about when I’m out on the trails hiking or riding my 4-wheeler and I come across a leaf or a flower, my focus is not on the tree or the larger group of flowers clustered together, instead I look exclusively at the individual leaf or flower and I am able to see much deeper. Looking at the leaf I can see intricate little lines, sometimes small particles of fuzz on them, the actual shape of the leaf and the lighter verse’s darker parts of it. When looking at the flower I may feel a softness in the peddle or a little insect looking for some nectar and like the leaf the colors seem more vibrant when looking up close versus afar off. That is how it is when we get rid of the clutter in our minds and sight we are able to see and hear the much deeper things of God. His voice becomes clear and our vision is no longer clouded. Sometimes it’s as if we are shouting things at God as if He can’t hear us when in reality we are trying to speak to him over all the chaos. Once we let go of some things we can quiet ourselves and come to God in a calmer quieter voice, just as the Holy Spirit is a gentleman He does not yell, He has a still quiet voice and we can too. There are other areas of less is more in our lives we need to be aware of. Things like allowing materialistic things to overtake us …more, more, MORE. We never seem to be satisfied with what we have and that’s because stuff is not what satisfies us, our relationship with Jesus is. Pride; we are some of the most prideful people, let that go! Self-sufficiency; how about more of trusting God instead of ourselves? That’s where we will find peace, when we depend on Him. He knows everything we need before we ever need it. If we will just decrease in ourselves and allow God to increase in us we will be making more room for God’s grace and power in our lives. Better is a little with the Lord than great treasure and turmoil with it (Proverbs 15:16).

What are you willing to let go of in this world to allow for gaining more with God?

Closed Doors

And those that entered, male and female of all flesh, went in as God commanded him. And the Lord shut him in. (Genesis 7:16)

The closed door was for Noah’s protection. In Acts; Paul and his companions were forbidden by the Holy Spirit from entering certain areas, as an example that closed doors can be divine redirection. The ten virgins in the book of Matthew, “the door was shut,” meaning end of opportunity for salvation. We are also instructed in the book of Matthew to go into our inner room, shut the door, and pray to our Father that is an example of intimacy; private prayer.

Every closed door serves a purpose and not every closed door is shut permanently, such as Noah’s. It was reopened once the storm was over, once God had accomplished what He set out to do. God opens and shuts doors. When God closes a door, no human effort can open, that’s His Sovereignty. There are times we need redirecting, change up our focus, head down a different path, so God will close that door rather than rejecting us and what we are about to enter into. Close doors can also mean, it’s just not time, but we don’t lose confidence in God’s plan during times of closed doors. His ways are not our ways nor is His timing like our timing, His is PERFECT. Instead of forcing a door, we need to trust that God is steering us toward something better. God never rejects His children, sometimes He tells us “no” to protect us. Those “no’s” have protected me a few times in life, quite a few actually. When I have allowed God to redirect me, it has always been for my good. I have learned things I would not have if I kept going through the door I was walking through. It has taken some faith and trust to get to the point where I knew God was really just setting me up for something better. Not every door is meant for us to walk through and if we are not praying and asking for God to lead us, direct our path we can find ourselves in some rooms we never wanted to be. At the same time a door that is open to us and we aren’t willing to walk through it we just may miss out on the biggest blessing ever. Something else I have discovered in my life is that there are multiple doors in life and at times I have been confused as to which one was for me, again that is the real necessity in praying, seeking God’s wisdom, He will open just the right one for you “if” you will listen carefully. I recently closed a door that was stealing my peace, I felt the attack of the enemy and it was keeping me from my growth in Him and my calling. The finality of the closed doors to me is ask, seek, knock and then you will find.

Is there a door that needs shut in your life? How about one that needs opened? Are you in need of redirection? Are there to many to choose from?

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock; and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one that seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)

Mount up and SOAR

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

The struggle. When looking back haunted by the ghosts of my past, bound up in all my failures, feeling the unworthiness of shame, stain and regrets. That is not at all who I am today. I am redeemed! I have hope. No more fighting the past because I am free at last. No shackles, No chains, just wings that lift me higher and higher. I am like an eagle …watch me soar, like a lion …hear me roar. I lift my head high because the one who redeemed me will never say goodbye. My story is a lot like the song, “Black Sheep.” I’ve been alone, lonely and scared, there have been times I’ve had a heart of stone, cried tears that no one has seen. I’ve kicked, screamed, broken down fences and ran through ditches swearing I didn’t fit in and maybe I didn’t. I’ve hated everything about me and at times thinking everyone would be better off without me. I have felt every bit of those lyrics at one time or another, yet in all of that I know …Jesus loves the black sheep. No matter how far I wander He’ll always come for me again, that’s Grace, Amen?! I no longer am who I once was, now I fly like an eagle and let the Spirit carry me, like an eagle to the sea, I am free. People and streets look different these days, I can see purpose in my ways. Now I am feeding those without enough to eat and putting shoes on their feet. I am free to be me.

Eagles are considered amongst the strongest birds. They can crush bones and lift heavy prey. Their talons are built for piercing and their beaks are tough enough to tear through meat. Their chest muscles are exceptionally strong for powerful flight and leg muscles to secure their prey when captured. They have a keen eye, they can spot prey from miles away. They maneuver their large body in ways demonstrating both strength and agility. But when they get old they have a choice. They can stay just as they are; comfortable and slowly lose their purpose or go through a painful process of renewal, but the eagle chooses the renewal, the hard path. I have the same choice as the eagle. I can remain the same “OLD” me, “OLD” ways, thoughts and habits, losing my strength and purpose for which I was created for or I can go through the process of renewal. Like the eagle I chose renewal. I chose to enter into the secret place of the Most High where He will cover me with His feathers, under His wings. I am allowing Him to renew my strength, grow me spiritually, mentally, emotionally. The process of getting to this place can and has been painful at times just like it is for the eagle. It requires shedding of my old flesh, breaking old habits just like how the eagles beak and claws are broken and feathers plucked for new growth, completely exposed and vulnerable. The eagle will then be renewed with new feathers, new beak, new claws, it is a slow process, but when complete the eagle arises with strength it did not have before. The eagle doesn’t just survive it flys stronger and higher than before. The hidden places in our life that feels like isolation are for preparation. We cannot soar like the eagles carrying what we were meant to shed. Like the eagle I am stronger than I have ever been before, I see myself going to levels higher than I’ve ever been, new boldness, better awareness when the storms of life are about to hit. I have a new confidence, the storm will not bury me, instead it will elevate me. I will Mount Up and SOAR like the eagle.

What do you need to shed that is keeping you from your purpose?

Mind Your Own Biscuits and Life will be Gravy

“…aspire to live quietly, and mind your own affairs, and work with your hands, as we instructed you.” (1 Thess. 4:11)

Paul was writing to the Thessalonians to encourage them to live quietly and work hard, partly to avoid meddling and to set a good example for nonbelievers. I have been in the oven on this one for awhile. You know that refining fire kind of oven, removing the dross, working on becoming pure. In the process of it all, I have learned to be quiet and listen very carefully to the Holy Spirit regarding many things. One of those things was to quit allowing myself to be in the midst of another person’s affairs. Sometimes that can be hard if you find yourself there because some else put you there, thergo; free will comes into play. You have the option how you will react or respond to any given situation, in this particular case I chose silence. The old rule of thumb, silence is golden. Like pure gold once refined. Dross-free that is what I want to be. Silence is not the only thing I have taken away from the intense heat of the fire. I realize that it is my responsibility to search my own heart. I have been delving deep into my innermost being, allowing God to bring out the impure thoughts, feelings, things that do not edify or glorify Him, or others for that matter, but mainly Him. Rummaging through my heart and mind, investigating my thoughts and reasonings. Asking the Lord to reveal anything and everything so that I may be able to learn better habits in order to set better examples. It is going to take a whole LOT of “God’s gravy.” I’m the biscuit and God is the gravy. What I have found by doing this, God will pour extra blessings, joy and spiritual nourishment on me, the “GOOD STUFF.” This is called divine grace. It is an abundance of “God’s Great lake of Gravy,” salvation and love that covers all, “total gift” freely poured out. Most days it is little reminders of God’s love for me, extra little things to be joyous about. Just going along minding my biscuits, I mean business, while He pours the gravy, I mean grace, and love over me. Are you in need of some gravy for your biscuits? Go on and get’cha some, a BIG heaping helping, it’s free for the asking.

Romans 10:9-13