Category: testimonial

God Has Me On His Mind

I have written your name on the palm of my hand; (Is. 49:16)

I have two tattoos. I have always been fearful of needles so I never saw this one coming. From the time of my children’s birth I had these little things I would say to each of them. To my son, “I love you so much I can’t even believe it.” To my daughter, “I love you more than the moon loves the stars.” Way later in life, once they were both adults, married and in the military serving our country. My daughter would occasionally say to me, “Hey mom we should get a tattoo.” I would always respond with,”yes we should, but never really wanting to go through with it, I thought it might be a sin and God would not be happy with me and I wasn’t really into self inflicted pain. Through much prayer and finally finding peace that it was not a heaven or hell issue, and surely how bad could this really hurt? I said okay, let’s do this. While she was stationed in England about to have her first child I went for a 5 week stay with her. By the way her husband was actually in the military she was just fortunate enough to be able to get stationed there with him. After her daughter was born, there was an airman there on base that did tattoos. I told her the only way I would get one was if we did one about us. So we each had moon and stars tattooed on our foot to represent, “I love you more than the moon loves the star.” I just want to say that was more painful than giving birth,” but I loved her that much. A couple months down the road my son was over, he had been in the Navy and I was showing him my tattoo, when he asked where was his? I thought oh my, I am going to have to endure another painful encounter with that needle. What the heck let’s’ go BIG. I got a tattoo on my back of a woman representing me, holding a staff that said Believe it, with the sun representing my son to the right just above her. That was a lot of ink, I couldn’t get the whole I love you so much I can’t even believe it on there, but we knew what it meant. I did this because I loved my children and I wanted them to see I was willing to go through anything to show them of my love for them. The photos in the picture are not that good partially due to the length of time I have had them and they are a bit worn and the other reason the camera didn’t capture the one on my back very well. I believe that scripture above is a tattooed reminder from God to us. “I have written your name on the palm my hand.” Just as my tattoos represent my love for my children, I believe this scripture above symbolizes God’s permanent, unbreakable love and constant reminder of His people. He will never forget his children and our lives are always at the forefront of his mind, just as my children are always at the forefront of my mind daily.

Open Wounds

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the contrite in spirit.” (Ps.34:18)

Up close and personal today. There are some ares in my life that I am still not able to share about because the wounds have not healed and they are susceptible to infection. I believe there are many that can relate to this. Issues of the heart are no joking matter, they are real like the breath in my lungs. Some days it feels as if healing is impossible, when every little thing that touches it causes the wound to begin bleeding again. Yet I know I am not broken I am simply in a place of deep transition, transitioning into the person God wants me to be. I know that if I turn to Him with this unbearable pain He will be there to heal my wounds but sometimes it is still a hard thing to do. I cannot rush the process though because there is work being done, I have to trust the process. Believe it or not, crying and feeling the pain is not a sign of crumbling but rather releasing and letting the healing begin. Sometimes while the wound is in this state you have to stay away from the thing that caused the injury in the first place, creating space for emotional detachment. I write because this is an outlet for me to release and process my emotions. I find that listening to worship music is a great help, because the lyrics are those that bring truth and good thoughts to my mind. I begin focusing on the things that are lovely, pure and of good report versus the thing that has me broken at the time. Nature is my go to place, it has a way of putting me in a completely different mood, relieves the stress of it all. Sometimes I fall into isolation, never a good thing, being with others is crucial to healing. God will use the right people to speak the right things to you that you cannot hear at that very moment. Whatever we are going through that is keeping this wound from healing completely does not define who we are, our future or our worth. Instead we need to see this is a chance to grow stronger and wiser. Don’t worry about the situation, just focus on your own recovery. Let God do what you cannot do. Obviously I am talking to myself here as well as you. Again I am processing, what I need to do in order to receive my healing. The scripture in Psalms tells us that God is not distant, but active in comforting those in pain. He offers us comfort, He is present and He will heal those with shattered emotions or crushed spirits. Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. He is our refuge when overwhelmed, our strength when hope seems lost and He promises that heartbreak will not have the final word.

Okay, I feel better … how about you?

The Circle of Life

And I am sure of this, that he that began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil. 1:6)

God is the one who starts the circle of life within us and who promises to complete that work, ensuring the circle is not without purpose. I am looking deeper into the things God has already done in my life, the things He is doing right now and looking forward to the things He will do as I am approaching the end of my circle. I love the fact that He says, He will complete that work. I can know that I will not leave this world unfinished, without purpose of why I was here. Unlike the ferris wheel, just a repetitive loop going round and round, God takes everything in my life, the good and bad and weaves it together to fulfil His ultimate purpose. Again, my circle ends with purpose. The Bible describes the “circle of life”-birth, labor, and death-as a natural, repeating pattern ordained by God. In the circle of life we find hope, through Jesus Christ for an eternal life. The true fulment of God’s purpose, this is the actual completed work, His purpose in all believers. The complete circle of Life is; a life of being born; birth to eternal life on a new earth, that is completion of the circle of life. Wherever you are in your circle, whether beginning, end or somewhere in the middle and you want to finish the complete circle of life, there is a step you must take. In the Gospel of John in the Bible speaks on that. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” That’s full circle y’all. Don’t spend your life like the ferris wheel in that repetitive loop, go the full circle, ask Jesus into your heart and make sure your circle is completed.

Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Now your circle is complete

Obstacles

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10)

God views obstacles as opportunities to strengthen our faith, build character, and to show us signs of His power so that we do not quit. He promises that His grace is sufficient to overcome challenges, encouraging us believers to trust Him completely rather than relying on our own understanding and He will often times use trials to prepare us for our calling. The last two days the Lord has been revealing things to me regarding my calling. The what, why’s, how long it’s been in the works and the reasons why it has taken so long for him to reveal this to me. One of the reasons is my faith wasn’t where it needed to be in order to believe for certain things. I had to endure some things in order to come to a place where I was so weak that I would get out of God’s way so that He could show me His strength and perfect my weakness, build that faith in Him. These obstacles we go through and not always signs to turn back, or give in, it can actually be meant to overcome something through prayer, fasting and trust. Again building our faith. I had and still have things to overcome, God has done some pruning in my life, cut away a lot of dead limbs so to speak, but there’s still more to be done. Through all this I know He is purifying my purpose, asuring the ultimate goal aligns with His will versus my personal comfort, because none of this has been comfortable, yet His will is being done. This year through my walk of intentionality, I have learned to trust God in ways I never have. I have quit trying to figure things out in my own mind and went right to the Word or prayer for answers. I have been able to release much of my anxieties simply be standing in agreement with the Word of God, not only that, but I have actually been faithful in taking steps forward, all the while keeping my focus on God’s power rather than the size of my obstacle. Growing in faith! As for the revelation of why it took so long, one reason was the path needed to be prepared ahead of time. #2, God’s plan was to use my own personal experiences, my background if you will as well as, #3 educating me in order to do what I was called to do. I had to learn how to submit and surrender, I had to learn obedience and how to walk in my gifts. I had to learn to keep my heart aligned with God and continue pursuing His purpose for me. I had to learn to lean in and lean on Him. Find all the right tools, like fasting and prayer. How to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, direct and help me when I needed it, instead me trying to play Holy Ghost Jr. with God myself. I’ve had a lot of obstacles getting in the way of my calling for quite some time now. I began understanding partly what my calling was a few years back and God has been revealing more and more of it all the time, but only to the point I am able to walk in it. Bottom line, God did not allow these obstacles to prevent me from my calling, all along He was preparing me for it.

Words of encouragement; Patience is a virtue. Endure the wait or difficult situations, keep your composure, and trust God. Continue working toward what you hear the Lord calling you to. Don’t give up.

Today

For I the Lord do not change (Malachi 3:6)

Life is so unpredictable. We are aware that there are different seasons yet in the changing of seasons we are unable to predict what it will be like. Will the Spring bring lots of rain or will it be dry? Will Summer be a scorching hot one early on until it meets fall? When Fall arrives will the trees have had enough water for the leaves to turn all the beautiful colors we have been waiting to admire? Will the Winter bring ice storms? snowstorms? how much? How long? Seasons come and go nothing stays the same, except God. He is unchanging, and His faithfulness remains. These pictures of me on my 4-wheeler represent a season I am in now, for how long? I do not know. I’ve been here for a couple years, but it could all change tomorrow. Right now I am happy, content and at peace whenever I am in my element which is riding off into God’s creation wherever that may lead me. Yet I am also aware of the fact this is not something I will be doing forever. My life will change again, like many times before. I once was child and did child-like things, I was a teenager, thank God I survived that season. A young wife and mother a whole new kind of season, one that was no longer just about me. Then came the season of being a grandmother, oh the joys that have come with this season have been like heaven on earth. Now I have reached yet another season in my life, one where my husband and I are pretty much alone except an occasional visit from one of our children or grandchildren when they have time because their seasons have changed to. When this season is over will I have another season? If so, what will it look like? The answer is I don’t know, life is unpredictable, I can only live for today. There is something that I am certain of though; a particular time. I wouldn’t call this time a season because it lasts forever. Scripture says, (2 Cor. 5:8) “absent from the body …present with the Lord”) and (Luke 23:43) Jesus’ promise to the thief, indicates that believers go to be with Christ in heaven immediately after death. I know I am going to be with God for all eternity when my seasons here on earth are finished. How do I know that? By faith. Faith in the Word of God. Faith in a Risen Savior, the kind of faith (1 John 5:13-21) speaks of; to KNOW. Know occurs seven times in these verses, indicating John’s focus on the assurance and even certainty of Christian faith and salvation. These things were written to those who believe in the name of the Son of God. Romans 10:9-10 says, If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Verse 17; So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Saving faith is a deep inward trust in Christ at the core of your being. I can predict my future after my last season, because I believe. Can You?

Legacy

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged (Proverbs 17:6a)

The three children in this photo are the first of (12) of my grandchildren. This sibling group from left to right are now, 20, 22, and 21 years old, later came sibling number four, and might I add the 21 year old is now a father himself. Now I have been given another generation of grandchildren to pray for, to set examples for, to speak Godly wisdom over. Life is full of so many things to influence our children’s minds, that is why it is so important that we grandparents are being diligent in our prayer life. We are called to pray for our children and our children’s children, to pass down a legacy of faith, protecting our future generations from the influences of this world and the world to come. Training them how to be powerful and effective, with something that will sustain them into their old age, that thing is the Word of God and through relationship with Him. That they would learn to have a reverential fear of God all the days of their life. That’s where blessings come from. Teach your children to pray. I want my children; all of them, BLESSED. I want to know that I have done all I was instructed to do by my heavenly Father to leave a legacy that can be carried out through generations. We can read all about this kind of obedience in Deuteronomy 6. I am approaching the end of my years here on this earth, so I am living my life with a whole lot more intentionality. I use to pray for little things, now my prayers are for bigger things, eternal things. My love for my children has not changed, but what is truly important has. Psalm 92:14 mentions that the righteous “will still bear fruit in old age”, that’s me, the praying grandmother, the one they call Mimi. I was called by God to be a spiritual leader and I do that through prayer, word and example, that they too may live a long and prosperous life. Leave a Legacy they’ll remember.

Gonna Let it Shine

“You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14)

The Lord has been pouring oil in my lamp in preparation for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in others. I am being very intentional about having my lamp full of oil, so that the lamp will give light to everyone that comes near me. I spend a lot of time around people who are living in darkness, it is a scary, hopeless, desperate & desolate place to be. As a child I was extremely scared of the dark. I never wanted to be alone when it became dark and even in the daylight there were times I could just sense the darkness. I don’t have to fear the dark now because there is a light that burns continuously inside of me. Now that I have this light I’m gonna let it shine, shine for others to be able to see. My goal is to help others light their wick right off of mine. Sharing is caring, right? I want to share the good news of living in the light. I want to see the people blessed and living in their blessings. Have you ever had a gift for someone and you were just so excited about giving it to them because you knew it was just what they needed and you could hardly hold back? That’s how I feel about my light; Jesus. When they see me, or hear me talk, or watch me emulate Jesus I want to be able to hear them say, “Hey that light your wearing is so bright, I couldn’t see anything but the light, why is that? Where can I get a lamp like that? Be prepared to light the fire in their soul. They have been in the dark so long that they can barely see the light flickering at times when it passes by. The naked eye can detect light approximately 1.6 miles away. Yet there are things that can cloud that vision such as haze & air pollution. When people are going through things such as job loss, living on the street, addictions of any kind, relationships that are beyond repair, bad experiences even in the church, so many things I can’t possibly list them all. Everyone has their own story. Their vision gets clouded, blurred, in some cases close to blindness. It’s important that we who hold the candle make sure our wick is lit, our lamp is full of oil and ready to let our light dispel darkness. Scriptures calls us believers the “light of the world,” and urges us to shine as lights in the world of a crooked and twisted generation. All of this for the sole purpose to give glory to our Father in heaven. For at one time we were in darkness, but now we are the light in the Lord, so we should walk as children of light. So Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.” (Is. 60:1)

Coat of Many Colors

…in God I trust: I shall not be afraid. (Psalm 56:11a)

If you know me, you know me. I am much like the cat in the picture. I’m charismatic, outgoing in every direction, have a style of my own and not afraid to wear it. I love the fluffy feeling of being complete in my attire, all the accessories. The colors in this cat make me feel happy, relaxed and comfortable. I’m just not sure about the look on her face though. She almost looks frightened, or surprised. Then I thought about that for a bit, I wonder if anyone notices that in me when I’m dressed in my coat of many colors, all fluffed up? Do they see the hurt, or fear that I sometimes feel, the shock or overwhelming feeling of life in the moment? Can they see the burdens that I am carrying that are woven so intricately into the fabric of my being, that I try to disguise as some form of accessory? I have hidden things in my attire in the past because I didn’t want people to see the deeper parts of me. When you are the one that people look to for a smile, a touch, a word of encouragement, the last thing you want them to see is what you are going through. We can do pretty good at hiding those things from other people, but we can’t hide them from God and honestly he does not want us too. God is my Father and a Good Good Father at that. He cares about EVERYTHING I care about. He knows my every thought, every happy, sad moment, he even knows every hair on my head and He collects every tear I’ve ever cried and puts’ them in a bottle, recording them in His book (Ps. 56:8). He knows my pain, sorrow, and struggles and he won’t ever forget them. He is aware of every burden I’ve had to bear, from the sleepless nights to the quiet unseen sorrows wrapped in my “Oh I feel so good” outfit I’m wearing. So when I look at this cat, what I see is beautiful on the outside, but on the inside is a different kind of beauty. It’s not a form of weakness because of that look in her eye, or the look in my eye, rather it is a need to give it over to the One who sees and remembers. Those feelings on the inside I call them beautiful to because I am created by a God that does not make mistakes, therefore, He wanted me to feel or He wouldn’t have given me the emotions to do so. What He doesn’t want is for me to be in bondage to those feeling and feel the need to hide them or hide from them nor does he want you too. So, get out your best outfit, accessorize, put a smile on your face and let the light shine down upon you with confidence that what others see you wearing on the outside, is the same thing you are wearing on the inside.

Rain On Me

“I will make them and the places around My hill a blessing. I will send down showers in season-showers of blessing.” (Ezekiel 34:26)

I was at a prayer meeting for revival. As much as I tried entering in to prayer asking for the Spirit of God to pour down on us as a city, a nation, the world in whole I found myself drawn to repentance. Repentance for not loving others like Jesus, for the times I felt selfish or conceited, how much more I needed to look at others with a greater significance. I became very humbled in my spirit asking instead that I could have a mind more like Christ Jesus. When he was here on earth in human form, being he was born in the likeness of men through the Virgin Mary, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death on the cross. Of course I know I will never be able to compare to the One whose name is above all names, but I’m always going to try and when I fall short which is most days, I’ll seek His face in forgiveness. After that I was able to pray for revival again, first in me. I asked the Holy Spirit to shower me with abundance, a refreshing and divine favor that would bring forth more productivity in the things God had already called me to. To reach more souls in the streets, the stores, the churches, everywhere I am, including those of you reading this. I wanted new growth in me. I wanted to have everything I needed to do more good works for His glory. I wanted Him to pour down blessings on me like the rain, like spring showers, which as I’m writing this right now the rain outside is pouring down and I have had to restart my computer 3 times already due to the power flickering off and on. Maybe God and I got our wires crossed in what kind of rain I was asking for …haha, just kidding, but it really is raining outside I just thought that was rather interesting being I was writing in regards to rain. So my prayer for revival ended something like this; asking for an abundance of grace, mercy, and prosperity that would exceed what I had already been given, allowing me to be a blessing to others in new ways. Of course I did pray for others to receive those same things. Once we left the church I began sharing with my husband in the car what I had experienced in our prayer time being we were all praying individually, when I began to cry because I was still in that humble spirit state of mind and heart. The tears made it hard for me to speak, so I stopped talking and just rested in His presence the rest of the way home. I would have to say, my prayers were answered tonight, He poured down the rain like spring showers both in the spiritual realm as well as the natural.

Turn the Page

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jer.29:11)

Like most people my life is a storybook. There is a beginning, a middle, and then there is the end, with a whole lot of pages in between. I had nothing to contribute in the beginning, the middle became my learning experiences, and the end will be determined by, if I walked in wisdom from the things learned in the middle of my story. Life can be full of twist and turns, highs and lows, good and bad. Times of sitting still or times we are on the move. Comical or serious, guess work, clockwork, does anything work? I believe for most people, and I would like to reiterate the word most, because I realize it does not apply to all, I believe the latter years to be a bit more comical than serious. We’ve already done the majority of our stressing over choices like; schools, home to buy, marriage, raising kids, how to keep up with the “Jones’s,” funny when I think about the things and people we worry about comparing ourselves too. Now I certainly cannot deny there are serious days, real concerns, and hurdles to get over, that is life to, but as we age we tend to have a different perspective about things than we did in the middle of our story. The younger me was a true believer in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. The older me, nearing the end, sees grace or ignorance depending on who or what, just being honest. Which brings me to being honest, younger people don’t appreciate honesty as much as older people in my opinion. I am prepared now to hear the truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God. Younger me, “Just lie to me, I can’t bear to hear the truth.” The younger me didn’t want to be lectured on what’s right and what’s wrong, the older me gets annoyed at wrong doings and tries to right every wrong. The younger me was okay with what I considered “fire insurance” rather than a real relationship with my Lord and Savior. Now, He’s the first one I talk to when I wake up and the last one I talk to before going to sleep. As you can see a lot of pages have been turned in my storybook. I believe or at least pray that I have another chapter or two still left. Right now I’m on a page that the things I am doing are bringing glory to my Heavenly Father and for the first time in my life I can say with all certainty, I am loved, I am valued, and my story matters. What chapter in your story are you on? Is it time to turn the page? Do you have any idea how your story ends? You might be thinking, how is it that I know my ending is going to be okay? The answer to that is easy, it doesn’t end. I have been promised an everlasting life by the One who conquered hell and defeated the grave. My story just gets better and better, turn the page.

I can’t end today’s story without offering an open invitation to all who are reading this; you are welcome to come and be a part of my story. Jesus is the ONLY way to get there. If you don’t know the end of your story yet and would like to, just say this simple prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus. I confess that I am a sinner, and I believe that Jesus you died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead. I ask you Jesus, come into my heart and be Lord over my life. I repent of my sins, and I trust in You alone for my salvation. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9-10)

If you said this prayer I just want to say to you “you have turned the page and now you know the end of your story.”