Tag: testimonial

A Wake-up Call

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Cor.14:33)

The hardest pill to swallow this year was realizing I meant so little to some people that meant the most to me. That kind of truth hits different! It will definitely humble you, it will also hurt you and teach you all at once. It’s called a wake-up call in my book, knowing that not everyone loves with the same kind of heart as you do. Some people only value you for what you can do for them or when it’s convenient for them. And the moment you stop pouring into them, you see their real intentions or you don’t see them at all, they have a way of diappearing altogether. Unfortunately for them and myself I have had to make some tough love decisions, by walking away from some relationships just so I could have mental clarity and peace. The blessing in the lesson in all of this is clarity. I hate being blindsided. I need communication and I need clarity that’s just how I roll. Be honest with me and don’t use my heart, because there are people out there that really need it and I am willing to give it. God promises to heal the brokenhearted and for that I am grateful. I confess right now I am the healed of the Lord!

I will not be anxious about anything, but in all things, every situation I will present my requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus, that’s a promise for me to stand on. (Philippians 4:6-7).

I also will not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind, so then I will be able to test and approve what God’s will is (Romans 12:2). Through much prayer for direction regarding this wake-up call the Lord has opened doors through therapy and an amazing nerosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren who is teaching me ways to have a better understanding on how the brain actually works through the renewing or rewiring of our thought process.

I am so grateful that God kows what and who we need to speaking into our life at the just the right time.

Little Foxes

“The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Last night there was a beautiful sky that continued on into the morning. I took pictures of it both in the evening and the morning. I made a post on social media describing how God makes everything beautiful. I felt wonderful at that moment and looking forward to a great day and then … “little fox” came along and changed everything.

27 years ago we bought our first home here in Arkansas, it wasn’t everything we would have wanted, but it became my home for the next 19 years. Coming from a background of inconsistency in having a permanent home, both as a child and as an adult, this meant more than I can explain. I use to keep track of every place I ever lived. I remembered every address, what the houses looked like, the phone numbers, I had a good memory, but that was all those places were, was memories. Eight years ago, we sold that home of 19 years and I have struggled with it this whole time. The house we bought to take the place of my home was my mother-in-laws home, her memories and my husbands memories and everyone around us their memories, five generations of memories, but not mine. I have struggled to try to make this my home because of fear of taking away their memories. But I continue to try.

Back to the “little fox.” As I was posting my daily blog I thought I should check my emails, I was expecting a response from a company I had emailed earlier in the week, when I came across a listing of my former home for sale. Suddenly looking through the 17 plus, photos of the place I began to cry. I felt as though I had just been punched in my stomach, the aching of never being able to go back to that place I once called home was literally taking my breath away. I began to see all the things I had lost since the move. My community, neighbors, my job was there, but in the move I decided I would settle for early retirement. My family was moving off, others were not coming as often as they used to and we were not making the trips we did in the past either. My grandkids once made comments about this didn’t feel like our home, it felt like Granny’s, because it was. They to grew up with memories of this place, memories of going to Granny’s. Our home was Mimi & PawPaw’s and it was at a different location than here. Pets were dying and disappearing, my husband lost his job that was suppose to take us into retirement, now we were living a very different kind of life and I no longer had my support system around me. I felt very alone, lonely was more like it. I had shingles right after we moved here for the first time, then covid hit, had that twice and nearly died the first time, ended up with breathing problems since. Brought family here from another state then the relationship fell apart. Brought a former foster of ours that was still family that was battling Leukemia, he passed after two years of trying to get to a bone marrow transplant. I went through a litter of 15 pups all by myself and did well until 6 weeks in I took them to the vet for their first series of vaccines where they contracted parvo and I lost 4 to that. My husband stayed home from work for a week and we worked day and night to keep these guys alive. My husband took another week off work to go through hospice with me and our boy before laying him to rest. I could go on for another several pages of things I lost since I made the move, but I say all this to say, “Little foxes.”

I had recently relinquished all of this loss over to the Lord when the little foxes appeared and tried to steal my joy, my hope and my peace by bringing this back up. Please hear me when I say, it’s all little foxes in the spiritual realm of life. Yes, I have lost many people and things over the years and will continue to until I make it to my final home. For me and you, if you are a believer in the One True God, Jesus Christ our Savior, then you know EVERYTHING will one day vanish.

I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future and though the little fox from this morning that decided to cause havoc in my mind and heart, he doesn’t get to stay here.

I am learning to give things over to God a whole lot quicker than I have in the past. One scripture that really stands out to me this morning is: (Psalms 30:5b) Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Will the sadness of my former home be gone completely? No, but I can have joy in knowing that God still has great plans for my life in the here and now.

Weeping does end and morning does come.

The Test that Teaches the Lesson

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” (Ja. 1:2-4)

When we are going through a trial in our life the first thing that comes to mind is not usually joy. Scriptures tells us that “Joy in trials,” are designed to produce spiritual maturity. The testing of our faith, it’s intended to make our faith genuine, which then results in steadfast, a life of faithful endurance while going through the troubles and afflictions. Now verse four says steadfastness leads to perfection. We believers grow in holiness but are not perfected in it, until Jesus returns.

I struggled in school with retaining knowledge that was being taught to me, it seemed very difficult. It always seemed like the teachers were talking some foreign language. If it was a subject that I didn’t get, I really did not get it. My home life was not a place I felt compelled or comfortable about going to for help. Though my dad only had an 9th grade education, he was pretty intelligent and my mom was not educated to the point she could be of any help with homework. My dad was also a perfectionist therefore he expected nothing but the same from me let me just say, he was the last person I wanted help from. Most times when a test was coming up, I was not properly prepared and I would fail or barely make the passing grade. I’m going to share something just to make a point. My parents had very high expectations, all A’s and B’s anything but, was going to be quite costly if you know what I am saying. I feared my parents wrath for not being able to comprehend what was being taught. They did not instruct, instead it was just the opposite. When you have that kind of pressure on you, there is no way you can receive anything good from that. God is not like that, as a matter of fact when He sets test before us, his intention for the test is for a positive outcome. Through our spiritual tests God’s desire is for us to learn. In the above scripture I’ve been referring to is a lesson to learn on unwavering faith, endurance and how to handle the afflictions of life, He/God does not put afflictions on us, unlike the way my parents were teaching me. How many times were you given a test in school to do over? Probably not many, because we were expected to study for the test ahead of time and be prepared to pass it. God gives us instructions to help us pass the tests in life, but when we don’t pass he is gracious enough to give us chance after chance after chance to get it right. His goal and desire for us is to learn, and grow from what we have learned.

In our continual do-overs we learn very valuable lessons in life. Everytime I fail a life test the next time I attempt to take the test, I do it with much more knowledge, understanding and wisdom. I have learned how joy fits into the equation. I have learned patience with myself because my heavenly Father has shown patience with me. It has helped build my character, I no longer feel like a failure, instead I am more than a conqueror, I see myself as my heavenly Father sees me. I now have that unwavering faith God teaches us about through His spirit of kindness and gentleness. We are able to pass the tests, we just need to take instruction from our loving Father. And continue to remind yourself your still working on perfection, but He who started to good work in you is faithful and just to finish it.

My natural father did teach me a very valuable lesson though. Near the ending of my school years he would say to me, “you’ll never learn from school what you’ll learn by experience.” That has definitely proven to be true.

Which Is Easier …Visible or Invisible

Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’? (Mark 2:9)

It’s easier to say the words, “Your sins are forgiven,” because that’s something invisible and impossible to disprove. But it’s harder to say, “Take up your bed and walk” because, if the man does not get up, then the one who said the words would look like he didn’t have any power or authority to heal. On a deeper level, it is harder to forgive sins, because only God can forgive sins-at the cost of Christ’s death on the cross. So the logic here is that, since Jesus can do the visible miracle (heal the paralytic), this is evidence that he also has the power to do the invisible miracle (forgive sins).

Mark 2:10-12 goes on to say, But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins-he said to the paralytic- “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.” And he rose immediately picked up his bed and went before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

Jesus’ healing of the paralytic verifies that he also has divine authority to forgive sins.

Which is what brings me to this part. The salvation message, the forgiveness of sins, eternal life in heaven, an eternity with Christ Jesus and our Father God. We can’t see Jesus with our natural eye, the Holy Spirit is (the invisible) active force that convicts us of our sin, reveals Jesus, and draws us into salvation. It begins with him convicting us, making us aware of our sin and our need for a Savior, opening our eyes to the reality of Jesus. He gives us understanding, allowing us to comprehend and believe the truth of the Gospel, our hearts become pliable, instead of being hard. Then He seals and secures us the moment we receive salvation. He takes up residence in our lives as a “seal” or guarantee of eternal relationship with God. The Holy Spirit descended from heaven “like a dove” and rested on Jesus when he was baptized by John the baptist. (Matt. 3:16) The Day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit was poured out on the followers of Jesus as a rushing wind and tongues of fire. (Acts 2:1-4) Also read (Acts 16:5-15).

If reading this has caused a tugging in your heart knowing there is a need for change in your life, that is evidence of the Holy Spirit speaking directly to you and there is a prayer you can say to assure your eternal relationship with God.

Jesus, I am a sinner in need of a savior. I believe in my heart that you are the Son of God who died on the cross and rose from the dead that I may be forgiven of my sins and have eternal life with you. I turn from my sins and invite you into my life, I confess You as Lord and Savior. Thank you for convicting me, saving me and giving me eternal life, In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Never Stop Looking For What’s Not There

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

When we read Hebrews chapter 11, it defines biblical faith as the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen. The definition of Faith: The Greek word for assurance implies a title deed or tangible proof of ownership.

Biblical faith isn’t blind optimism; it is the absolute certainty that God will fulfill His promises.

The Evidence: Faith functions as the spiritual lens that makes the invisible realm real to believers.

True faith always results in action: Abel & Enoch (vv.4-6): Abel offered a more acceptable sacrifice because of his heart attitude, while Enoch is commended for walking closely with God. Noah (v.7): Built an ark for a flood he had never seen, acting in reverent obedience. Abraham & Sarah (vv.8-19): Left their homeland for an unknown destination and trusted God to provide a child in their old age, proving that faith believes the impossible. Moses (vv.23-29): He chose temporary mistreatment with God’s people over temporary pleasures of Egypt. Chapter 11 ends with the triumph of endurance (vv.33-40). Endurance through suffering. It honors people who were tortured, mocked, and martyred but they refused to abandon their hope in God. All these heroes died without seeing the fulfillment of the ultimate promise (the Messiah).

In 1998 My husband I took a leap of faith in a move from Texas to Arkansas. Like Abraham & Sarah we were leaving all our family, trusting God to provide everything we would need to make that move. We didn’t have the money for the moving truck, yet when we went to close out our bank account we found out that we had an extra $500 in our account from a mistake I supposedly made …really? I don’t think it was a mistake, I believe that was God’s provision. That $500 was the exact amount we needed for the moving truck. My husband had just started working for Walmart and he asked for a transfer to a location here in Arkansas, but was told he would have to be on the job for a minimum of 6 months to get a transfer and there was no guarantees’ of that then. He got the transfer …coincidence? I don’t think so, God’s provision once again. Now we were on a timeline to get here to start the new job, but we had no place to live. When we got a call from my husbands 93 year old great aunt that heard we were moving here. She had called the banker in her little town which was in the vicinity of where we were planning to live and he had a little one bedroom farm house, I mean old, it had an old skeleton key for the lock on the door which he would not be home when we got here so he said he would leave the key under the doormat and when we got here just come in and if it would work for us just go ahead and move in and he’d see us in a few days. Mind you we had no extra money so this was going to have to be a really good deal on top of everything else. The rent was $275 month. I hadn’t paid that kind of rent since I was 18 years old …favor of God. Moving forward without all the other details because there is so much more, we made the move on the absolute certainty God was going to provide everything we needed even though we could not see how. We have been here for 28 years now and this would literally turn into a short story book if I continued telling you of all God did and all the promises we have seen since that day. I just really want to encourage you today that whatever your believing for, but you say it’s so far off, I can’t see that, I don’t have the faith for it. Never stop Looking for what’s not there. I wrote a blog May 16th Titled: Faith Born Out Of Fear; “Sometimes faith will make you look stupid; until it starts to rain.” -Noah

Don’t fear what you don’t know, what you can’t see. Keep Looking for what’s not there, have faith.

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

It’s time to release control again, quiet my mind, and find peace. In Hebrew, “be still” is raphah-meaning to let go, relax, and surrender the need to strive. How many of you are striving for one thing or another right now in your life? What’s going on in your mind over and over that you just never really seem to have a real peace? What are you holding on to that needs surrendering? For me I find myself in this place more often than I’d like to admit and more often than I ever should be.

Sitting on a rock at a fresh stream of water reminds me of Jesus my Rock, Living Waters refreshing my soul as I still my mind to the sound of the bubbling brook. I realize at that moment I don’t have to carry the weight of everything myself. This is where I release all the heaviness and I find strength in the resting. Inhaling the words “Be still” and exhaling “and know that I am God.” There is where my peace is.

I have to have these moments alone with God. Being alone in general is not enough, I need deliberate time and away from everything, no phone, all distractions, just focusing on God’s presence.

Sometimes I journal the things that are stressing me out, then I will pray over them and ask God to help me surrender them to Him. I rarely go back to that paper simply because it works. I give it to God, He takes it and it’s finished, time to move on. Knowing He is God allows me to spend my time reflecting on His power, and love for me instead of my problems. It also allows me to see how small my problems are in comparison to how big our God is. I was just praying tonight with a group of people from an outreach ministry I am involved in and that was my prayer, “God these things we are seeking you for are small in comparison to how big you are.” When we can look at it in those terms we can find rest in Him.

My prayer for everyone reading this including myself is this. God help us to stop, to be quiet, to be still, and to remember to know that you are God and that you are all-powerful, You are all-sovereign. Amen

Confession Of A Sinner

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins” (Acts 2:38)

David wrote Psalm 51 for the music leader, when the prophet Nathan came to him, after David had sex with Bathsheba.

Here is the entire Psalm written in simple, modern everyday English:

Have mercy on me, God, because you are so loving. Because you are so merciful, please wipe away all my wrongs. Wash me clean from guilt and make me pure from my sin. I know exactly what I did wrong, and I cannot stop thinking about it. I have done evil, and I only sinned against you. You are perfectly fair to judge me for what I did. I have been a sinner since the day I was born. But you want truth and honesty deep inside my heart, and you teach me wisdom there. Wash me, and I will be cleaner than snow. Make me happy and glad again. Ignore my sins and wipe them all from your memory. Create a pure heart in me, God, and give me a new, faithful spirit. Please do not the throw me away or take your Holy spirit from me. Give me back the joy of your saving grace, and make me eager to obey you. If you do this, I will teach other sinners your ways so they will return to you. God, save me from my guilt, and my tongue will sing loudly about how good and right you are. Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will proudly praise you. You do not really want animal sacrifices, or I would gladly bring them. The true sacrifice God wants is a broken and humble heart. God, you will not look down on a heart that is sorry for its sins.

This is a prayer of forgiveness and repentance written by King David. In it, he asks God to wash away his mistakes, fix his broken heart, and restore his joy.

I know we read here about having the Holy Spirit taken from David, yet Christ had not come yet, therefore the Holy Spirit did not dwell within anyone at this point in time. What we have here is God’s anointing on David. Ps. 32:1 states, Forgiveness of sins anticipates the sacrifice of Christ as the ultimate basis of forgiveness according to, (Romans 4:7-8). Also (Ps. 51:7) Hyssop alludes to cleansing ceremonies that point to the final cleansing from sin through the work of Christ (Heb 9:19-28). Which now takes me to (1 John 1:9), “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse of from all unrighteousness.” Now, thanks to Jesus dying on the cross, rising up from the dead and sending His Holy Spirit to dwell within us, we can have EVERYTHING God promised. One last, but not final scripture I want to share is (Romans 10:9-10), “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved”.

Christ promises us the conqueror’s reward: communion with himself and the white raiment of victory. Our name is secure in his Book of Life, and he will confess our names before the Father, since we have confessed Jesus. (Rev.3:5)

With King David, he found forgiveness from the Father through his confession. With us we to have forgiveness through confession with the Son and eternal life.

If any or all of this resonated within you, you to can confess your sins and be forgiven. There is nothing like letting the past go and getting a fresh new life an everlasting life. Love covers a multitude of sins, and while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That’s unconditional grace my friends. You cannot earn God’s love by good behavior or human perfection, it had to come one way and one way only, through the ultimate sacrifice of Christ, a sacrificial love. He did it for me, He did it for you.

The Dilemma of Quitting

If I say, “I will not mention him or speak anymore in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot. (Jer. 20:9)

God does not allow Jeremiah to stop preaching. He has put this burning fire and desire within him that if he were to try to stop it would be to painful, the words are in him and they have to come out. He has enemies and Jeremiah’s ministry was a fight. People whispering behind his back, turning his words against him, planning terror for him on every side. They were watching for his fall, hoping for an incorrect prediction. God did give Jeremiah a heads up in the beginning that these things would happen by saying, “They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you” (Jeremiah 1:19).

I’ve been in a battle for quite some time it seems, because my perception of life is very different than that of many. I hear things from God that cause me to say or not say things, act or not act regarding certain situations and because of that people have turn their back on me, or talked behind my back, left our relationship, tried to attack me in ways that completely blow my mind. But then, I am reminded of Jeremiah and all he went through all because God had put the fire inside of him. As much as he wanted to quit, as much as I want to quit at times, because the battle is raging all around me, I cannot and neither did he. There is this unquenchable, unshakeable truth inside of me, a pressure like feeling that no matter how bad I want to quit, I cannot. Just recently it was so bad, that I to like Jeremiah had wished I had never been born. People can be so hateful at times and you wonder why am I doing this? That is why. Be the difference, be the light in a dark world. Jeremiah’s pain and confusion required both careful thought and a caring heart. Through all the suffering I read about in Jeremiah’s story I realize that I have been given a God-given passion to spread the good news. I know I vent and speak of giving up. I also know there is a fire not easily extinguished. And I know that the God who started this in me will sustain me until he is finished with me, just as the Word in Jer. 1:19. God listens to my prayers, hears the cry of my heart, comforts my soul and toughens me up. He even at times stuns me in how he will subtly change my situation in a different direction just to provide me with a hope to keep going. Jeremiah was not a quitter and neither am I.

No pain …No gain

Discontentment

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ( Philippians 4:11)

Paul’s been through some stuff and he knows what it’s like from every angle of life, yet he knew and talked about being content more than anyone else.

Okay this is straight talk from myself for a minute. Discontentment is a sneaky enemy. I can get angry about something, it’s just there right now, in the moment and that’s that. Or fear, something happens or doesn’t happen and anxiety starts taking over right away, but discontentment hits when I least expect it, everything is just rocking along. My day will be going great, heck I may even be at church praising God and giving Him all the glory for all the good things He is doing in my life, done in my life and gonna do in my life and then like a thief in the night the enemy has come and stole my joy, got me thinking all kinds of things. Likely because I heard someone else talking about something and suddenly I felt I didn’t have what I thought I should have. Like,”Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have so much to take care of around our home, we could be out doing what so-n-so is doing, wouldn’t that be nice?” Or “We sure didn’t think this whole retirement thing through like we should have had we, we would be doing a lot more than we are.” “Dang we are getting old, if we were young like them we could __________fill in the blank.” See how the enemy snuck that one right in there? I just went from being content and I really am for the most part, until the enemy comes along and gets in my head and I decide to entertain those thoughts and that’s all that is, is thoughts. God blessed us with a nice home, we have lived good healthy lives this far, if we would stop allowing busyness to steal our time we would take vacations, even just more day trips. We aren’t in lack, God has been good to us, so how did I suddenly just become discontent?

The Israelites’ journey in the dessert; despite being freed from slavery, they grew dissatisfied with God’s provision and complained against Him. Discontentment will cause us to start grumbling and complaining just like they did. We start acting like God is withholding good things or he doesn’t know what’s best for us. Paul tells us that contentment is learned. Paul struggled with imprisonment and hardship but wrote in (Philippians 4:11-13) that he learned the secret of being content in (any) situation, relying on the strength Christ provides. There is some true gain from having a relationship with God rather than all this worldly stuff that brings about being discontent, (1 Timothy 6:6) “godliness with contentment is great gain”. We need to set our minds on the things above, not on earthly things”(Colossians 3:2). We also need to protect our minds. I once read a book, “Where the mind goes, the man follows” and that is true. Don’t be a follower of the enemy, be a Christ Follower.

Moving Forward

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14)

If I am being held back from accomplishing anything, it is because of the battle between fear and faith. I know I have in the past and sometimes still find myself shrinking back in the present just not nearly as much as I use to, limiting my own self by doubting instead of trusting His calling. Because I have always had the people pleasing syndrome, spirit of perfectionism, I have allowed fear and insecurity to hold me back. Fear, failure, judgment, or even the unknown have been reasons for holding me back from stepping into my true identity. I spent a lot of time with the Lord trying to figure out how to move past this. Through much prayer and surrender God blessed me with a new boldness, one that makes me say now “YES I CAN” and “YES I WILL,” I’m not scared. If God called me to it, well he will obviously equip me to achieve the task. I’m moving forward, not backward. I am focused on my future, what’s ahead of me. God has been doing a new thing in me and I am not hiding who the new me is He is creating.

If God is calling you into something new, a new purpose, or bolder version of yourself, He promises He will be your strength. You just need to replace your internal doubts by renewing your mind with what Scripture says about your value and your purpose. Remember we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10) Let your light shine, people need to see it, this is how we encourage others to move out of their fears and doubts, and move into their call, their purpose in life.

Moving Forward With Purpose and Taking People With me