Open Wounds

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the contrite in spirit.” (Ps.34:18)

Up close and personal today. There are some ares in my life that I am still not able to share about because the wounds have not healed and they are susceptible to infection. I believe there are many that can relate to this. Issues of the heart are no joking matter, they are real like the breath in my lungs. Some days it feels as if healing is impossible, when every little thing that touches it causes the wound to begin bleeding again. Yet I know I am not broken I am simply in a place of deep transition, transitioning into the person God wants me to be. I know that if I turn to Him with this unbearable pain He will be there to heal my wounds but sometimes it is still a hard thing to do. I cannot rush the process though because there is work being done, I have to trust the process. Believe it or not, crying and feeling the pain is not a sign of crumbling but rather releasing and letting the healing begin. Sometimes while the wound is in this state you have to stay away from the thing that caused the injury in the first place, creating space for emotional detachment. I write because this is an outlet for me to release and process my emotions. I find that listening to worship music is a great help, because the lyrics are those that bring truth and good thoughts to my mind. I begin focusing on the things that are lovely, pure and of good report versus the thing that has me broken at the time. Nature is my go to place, it has a way of putting me in a completely different mood, relieves the stress of it all. Sometimes I fall into isolation, never a good thing, being with others is crucial to healing. God will use the right people to speak the right things to you that you cannot hear at that very moment. Whatever we are going through that is keeping this wound from healing completely does not define who we are, our future or our worth. Instead we need to see this is a chance to grow stronger and wiser. Don’t worry about the situation, just focus on your own recovery. Let God do what you cannot do. Obviously I am talking to myself here as well as you. Again I am processing, what I need to do in order to receive my healing. The scripture in Psalms tells us that God is not distant, but active in comforting those in pain. He offers us comfort, He is present and He will heal those with shattered emotions or crushed spirits. Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. He is our refuge when overwhelmed, our strength when hope seems lost and He promises that heartbreak will not have the final word.

Okay, I feel better … how about you?

Huh …I Did Not Know That

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee” (Hosea 4:6)

Talking active rejection here, not ignorance. The passage says, “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you…” (Hosea 4:6). The people of Israel chose to forget God’s law and ignored His teachings, leading to their own destruction. When we reject God’s laws He has the right and ability to keep us from His blessings and protection over us, allowing us to face the consequences of our actions, just as he did with Israel. Good news y’all, if we will enter into an intimate relationship with Him, “Know Him,” that’s knowledge, then we can understand His commandments. We have to put forth effort, we are held responsible for our actions or lack of, so make the effort to learn. Don’t deliberately ignore God’s ways, He gives us commands/rules if you may, to protect us because He loves us and wants good things for us. I have been observing the world around me a lot lately and this is going to sound like something I heard my grandparents say when I was younger, but it is what I am seeing and hearing. Modern society is morally declining. I have been more diligent than ever before in sharing the Gospel message with ALL people. Warning guys!!! the end is only getting closer. Don’t let the lack of knowledge destroy you. Here are three scripture references in the old testament I want to share:(1) “Therefore My people will go into exile for their lack of understanding; their dignitaries are starving and their masses are parched with thirst.” (Isaiah 5:13). (2) “Because they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the LORD…” (Proverbs 1:29) (3) “For my people are foolish; they know me not; they are stupid children; they have no understanding. They are ‘wise’-in doing evil! But how to do good they know not.” (Jeremiah 4:22) In summary of Hosea 4:6 is a warning that spiritual ignorance-specifically the active rejection of God’s Word-leads to destruction. Words of Encouragement, I’ve got Good News. You can have life; a good life, one with God’s blessings and protection for you and your family, it all begins with a right relationship with Jesus. Being righteous is simply being in right standing in Him. Maybe you like my past self have been uneducated in the things of God and please, like a Pastor I once sat under would say, “don’t hear what I’m not saying;” because I am still a work in progress. Maybe you don’t know what the Bible has to say regarding how you show act, talk, or live your life. You can ask God to help you with that and the other Good News is; “If any lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to EVERYONE generously without rebuke, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Did you catch that? Wisdom is available to ANYONE. This is the kind wisdom used for navigating through life’s trials and making godly decisions, rather than relying on your thinking and understanding. You matter and the kind of life you live matters. God wants only the BEST for you. Don’t self-destruct.

Peace Is A Priority

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)

Number one priority for actively pursuing peace involves being in harmony with others. Though that is not always possible, so I’ll share another scripture which says, (if possible, live peaceably with all) Romans 12:18. That takes a little pressure off of me because sometimes it takes time to heal from being hurt, to forgive or be forgiven before I am able to find that peace. Hate is a strong word, but I am going to use it in expressing my feelings on discord, “I hate it.” Having unresolved issues with someone is one of the worst feelings I could have. I’ve lived my whole life as a people pleaser until recently. I have learned my mental and emotional well being is very important to me and I have made a deliberate decision not to allow anyone to steal my joy purposely amongst other things. My focus for peace is about more than people though. I have hobbies, different ministries I am involved in, home projects, etc. obviously all these things take time. This requires prioritizing because if I don’t life becomes total chaos,and chaos is definitely not peace. I have become intentional or as Charlie Brown in the caption above said, “I make deliberate life choices.” The beginning of this year I received a word which I have written about before, “Intentional.” One of the things I have been intentional about this year is protecting my peace at all cost. I had to take a step back and look at some of the different ministries I was involved in and let a couple things go to free up my time to better the other ministry work as well as give me a break here and there. I’ve gotten rid of things in my home that were making for unnecessary workload, when I had more than I could do already. Did some scaling back on monitarial things that weren’t necessary. Took a sabbatical from social media. Stopped taking every call/text that came across my phone. Busyness can really rob you of your peace. On a spiritual note regarding peace, I have found that humility is huge. You know you can just be quiet, you don’t have to fight about things, that’s never the solution anyway. Being right in a disagreement is overrated anyway, conflict always results in loss of peace. I think that’s called being PRIDEFUL. So I would rather choose peace over trying to be right about my opinion. Like another Blog I wrote; Mind Your Own Biscuits and Life Will Be Gravy …that’s Peace right there now, just say’n. Keep to yourself and don’t allow other people to bring you into their drama. They say, experience is one of life’s greatest teachers, but the Word of God is the best teacher. Do it right the first time and you won’t have any regrets.

What regrets are you experiencing right now? Do you need to seek after or pursue peace? Do you need to unload some things from an overburdened lifestyle? What do you need to be deliberate about to receive peace in your life?

Obstacles

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10)

God views obstacles as opportunities to strengthen our faith, build character, and to show us signs of His power so that we do not quit. He promises that His grace is sufficient to overcome challenges, encouraging us believers to trust Him completely rather than relying on our own understanding and He will often times use trials to prepare us for our calling. The last two days the Lord has been revealing things to me regarding my calling. The what, why’s, how long it’s been in the works and the reasons why it has taken so long for him to reveal this to me. One of the reasons is my faith wasn’t where it needed to be in order to believe for certain things. I had to endure some things in order to come to a place where I was so weak that I would get out of God’s way so that He could show me His strength and perfect my weakness, build that faith in Him. These obstacles we go through and not always signs to turn back, or give in, it can actually be meant to overcome something through prayer, fasting and trust. Again building our faith. I had and still have things to overcome, God has done some pruning in my life, cut away a lot of dead limbs so to speak, but there’s still more to be done. Through all this I know He is purifying my purpose, asuring the ultimate goal aligns with His will versus my personal comfort, because none of this has been comfortable, yet His will is being done. This year through my walk of intentionality, I have learned to trust God in ways I never have. I have quit trying to figure things out in my own mind and went right to the Word or prayer for answers. I have been able to release much of my anxieties simply be standing in agreement with the Word of God, not only that, but I have actually been faithful in taking steps forward, all the while keeping my focus on God’s power rather than the size of my obstacle. Growing in faith! As for the revelation of why it took so long, one reason was the path needed to be prepared ahead of time. #2, God’s plan was to use my own personal experiences, my background if you will as well as, #3 educating me in order to do what I was called to do. I had to learn how to submit and surrender, I had to learn obedience and how to walk in my gifts. I had to learn to keep my heart aligned with God and continue pursuing His purpose for me. I had to learn to lean in and lean on Him. Find all the right tools, like fasting and prayer. How to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, direct and help me when I needed it, instead me trying to play Holy Ghost Jr. with God myself. I’ve had a lot of obstacles getting in the way of my calling for quite some time now. I began understanding partly what my calling was a few years back and God has been revealing more and more of it all the time, but only to the point I am able to walk in it. Bottom line, God did not allow these obstacles to prevent me from my calling, all along He was preparing me for it.

Words of encouragement; Patience is a virtue. Endure the wait or difficult situations, keep your composure, and trust God. Continue working toward what you hear the Lord calling you to. Don’t give up.

Less is MORE

He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30)

I chose this photo today because as you can see there isn’t much in this room. There really isn’t anything here to distract you from focusing on one particular thing. Which is the object lesson in decreasing our self and allowing more of God in our life. We have to get rid of things that are in our way, distracting us from having clarity, 20/20 vision and excellent hearing. We need to be resting in Him, not allowing our minds to wander focusing on everything around us. We should be wanting to go deeper in our relationship with God and allowing Him to go deeper within us. Ridding us from the things that don’t serve a purpose in our life and that are keeping us from receiving all that He would have for us. I think about when I’m out on the trails hiking or riding my 4-wheeler and I come across a leaf or a flower, my focus is not on the tree or the larger group of flowers clustered together, instead I look exclusively at the individual leaf or flower and I am able to see much deeper. Looking at the leaf I can see intricate little lines, sometimes small particles of fuzz on them, the actual shape of the leaf and the lighter verse’s darker parts of it. When looking at the flower I may feel a softness in the peddle or a little insect looking for some nectar and like the leaf the colors seem more vibrant when looking up close versus afar off. That is how it is when we get rid of the clutter in our minds and sight we are able to see and hear the much deeper things of God. His voice becomes clear and our vision is no longer clouded. Sometimes it’s as if we are shouting things at God as if He can’t hear us when in reality we are trying to speak to him over all the chaos. Once we let go of some things we can quiet ourselves and come to God in a calmer quieter voice, just as the Holy Spirit is a gentleman He does not yell, He has a still quiet voice and we can too. There are other areas of less is more in our lives we need to be aware of. Things like allowing materialistic things to overtake us …more, more, MORE. We never seem to be satisfied with what we have and that’s because stuff is not what satisfies us, our relationship with Jesus is. Pride; we are some of the most prideful people, let that go! Self-sufficiency; how about more of trusting God instead of ourselves? That’s where we will find peace, when we depend on Him. He knows everything we need before we ever need it. If we will just decrease in ourselves and allow God to increase in us we will be making more room for God’s grace and power in our lives. Better is a little with the Lord than great treasure and turmoil with it (Proverbs 15:16).

What are you willing to let go of in this world to allow for gaining more with God?

Closed Doors

And those that entered, male and female of all flesh, went in as God commanded him. And the Lord shut him in. (Genesis 7:16)

The closed door was for Noah’s protection. In Acts; Paul and his companions were forbidden by the Holy Spirit from entering certain areas, as an example that closed doors can be divine redirection. The ten virgins in the book of Matthew, “the door was shut,” meaning end of opportunity for salvation. We are also instructed in the book of Matthew to go into our inner room, shut the door, and pray to our Father that is an example of intimacy; private prayer.

Every closed door serves a purpose and not every closed door is shut permanently, such as Noah’s. It was reopened once the storm was over, once God had accomplished what He set out to do. God opens and shuts doors. When God closes a door, no human effort can open, that’s His Sovereignty. There are times we need redirecting, change up our focus, head down a different path, so God will close that door rather than rejecting us and what we are about to enter into. Close doors can also mean, it’s just not time, but we don’t lose confidence in God’s plan during times of closed doors. His ways are not our ways nor is His timing like our timing, His is PERFECT. Instead of forcing a door, we need to trust that God is steering us toward something better. God never rejects His children, sometimes He tells us “no” to protect us. Those “no’s” have protected me a few times in life, quite a few actually. When I have allowed God to redirect me, it has always been for my good. I have learned things I would not have if I kept going through the door I was walking through. It has taken some faith and trust to get to the point where I knew God was really just setting me up for something better. Not every door is meant for us to walk through and if we are not praying and asking for God to lead us, direct our path we can find ourselves in some rooms we never wanted to be. At the same time a door that is open to us and we aren’t willing to walk through it we just may miss out on the biggest blessing ever. Something else I have discovered in my life is that there are multiple doors in life and at times I have been confused as to which one was for me, again that is the real necessity in praying, seeking God’s wisdom, He will open just the right one for you “if” you will listen carefully. I recently closed a door that was stealing my peace, I felt the attack of the enemy and it was keeping me from my growth in Him and my calling. The finality of the closed doors to me is ask, seek, knock and then you will find.

Is there a door that needs shut in your life? How about one that needs opened? Are you in need of redirection? Are there to many to choose from?

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock; and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one that seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)

Mount up and SOAR

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

The struggle. When looking back haunted by the ghosts of my past, bound up in all my failures, feeling the unworthiness of shame, stain and regrets. That is not at all who I am today. I am redeemed! I have hope. No more fighting the past because I am free at last. No shackles, No chains, just wings that lift me higher and higher. I am like an eagle …watch me soar, like a lion …hear me roar. I lift my head high because the one who redeemed me will never say goodbye. My story is a lot like the song, “Black Sheep.” I’ve been alone, lonely and scared, there have been times I’ve had a heart of stone, cried tears that no one has seen. I’ve kicked, screamed, broken down fences and ran through ditches swearing I didn’t fit in and maybe I didn’t. I’ve hated everything about me and at times thinking everyone would be better off without me. I have felt every bit of those lyrics at one time or another, yet in all of that I know …Jesus loves the black sheep. No matter how far I wander He’ll always come for me again, that’s Grace, Amen?! I no longer am who I once was, now I fly like an eagle and let the Spirit carry me, like an eagle to the sea, I am free. People and streets look different these days, I can see purpose in my ways. Now I am feeding those without enough to eat and putting shoes on their feet. I am free to be me.

Eagles are considered amongst the strongest birds. They can crush bones and lift heavy prey. Their talons are built for piercing and their beaks are tough enough to tear through meat. Their chest muscles are exceptionally strong for powerful flight and leg muscles to secure their prey when captured. They have a keen eye, they can spot prey from miles away. They maneuver their large body in ways demonstrating both strength and agility. But when they get old they have a choice. They can stay just as they are; comfortable and slowly lose their purpose or go through a painful process of renewal, but the eagle chooses the renewal, the hard path. I have the same choice as the eagle. I can remain the same “OLD” me, “OLD” ways, thoughts and habits, losing my strength and purpose for which I was created for or I can go through the process of renewal. Like the eagle I chose renewal. I chose to enter into the secret place of the Most High where He will cover me with His feathers, under His wings. I am allowing Him to renew my strength, grow me spiritually, mentally, emotionally. The process of getting to this place can and has been painful at times just like it is for the eagle. It requires shedding of my old flesh, breaking old habits just like how the eagles beak and claws are broken and feathers plucked for new growth, completely exposed and vulnerable. The eagle will then be renewed with new feathers, new beak, new claws, it is a slow process, but when complete the eagle arises with strength it did not have before. The eagle doesn’t just survive it flys stronger and higher than before. The hidden places in our life that feels like isolation are for preparation. We cannot soar like the eagles carrying what we were meant to shed. Like the eagle I am stronger than I have ever been before, I see myself going to levels higher than I’ve ever been, new boldness, better awareness when the storms of life are about to hit. I have a new confidence, the storm will not bury me, instead it will elevate me. I will Mount Up and SOAR like the eagle.

What do you need to shed that is keeping you from your purpose?

Band-Aids Don’t Heal

“He was wounded for our transgression, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by his stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

Some wounds bleed longer than others. Some heal overnight, but I have found in my life, many take time and simply covering them up with whatever your band-aid may look like NEVER works. Back in the day my band-aid was “self-medicating,” some days that looked like drinking alcohol, just to relax you know; that’s what I would say to whomever might be watching. Some days it was a little bigger band-aid, a drug of choice, just so I didn’t have to feel the pain, again that was my coping mechanism. Coping is not a form of healing, nor are band-aids. Bandages are used only to stop the immediate bleeding while confronting the cause of the injury and finding the appropriate prescription, the one that actually brings healing. I’m definitely not suggesting or promoting that you use alcohol or drugs or any other thing to stop the bleeding. I only shared that as an example of what I did before I knew how to stop the bleeding and receive my healing in the correct way. Unfortunately I see people everyday doing just what I did and it is heartbreaking. I still bleed at times when I’ve been wounded, but now I address the wound differently. I take it to the “Lord Who Heals,” He can and will heal both my body and soul and He does it through compassion and authority, not by the other things I mentioned above. Wounds can be physical, spiritual, and emotional and Jesus can heal everyone of them if we will go to Him with faith believing that He can and will, if we will receive our healing. Faith says, yes He can; belief is receiving what He will do. Jesus is the healer of both the physical body and the “sin-sick soul,” offering us peace, comfort and forgiveness. Your bloody mess may be caused from sin, and you need forgiveness. Are you bleeding out to the point that others are wearing it to? I try to be transparent in my writings, in my past I was the person that bled all over innocent people. I let the bleeding go for so long that everyone around me had to feel my injury. And you know what? I found out in several different occasions that sin was holding me back. Sometimes it was the kind of sin like we all know; doing the wrong thing, but more times than not it was the sin of guilt, shame and unforgiveness. I needed a savior, I needed a real physician, I needed HEALED! As most of us dealing with any kind of hurt or injury we find that rarely is there complete restoration, just temporary relief, Jesus offers us complete restoration; wholeness. His atonement on the cross covered both the forgiveness of our sins and healing in our body. Doctors are part of God’s plan for our healing just as direct intervention in response to our faith, so I am not saying that we stop seeing doctors and only believe by faith for our healing. We must use wisdom to know if what we need requires immediate assistance or can we call out directly to God for our healing. Even when seeing doctors of all kind; physical, mental even spiritual advice, always pray to the One who directs the steps of the hands you are putting your life in. For their gifts and talents were given by God to begin with, He is working through them. Jesus is considered the ultimate healer, operating above and through the skills of earthly doctors. I’m not a doctor, I’m not Jesus, I’m not a Preacher, I am a believer. I talk to God about EVERYTHING, He is my Healer, my Savior, my confidant, I share my deepest, most intimate problems with Him. I know He is trustworthy, for He is not man that he should lie, He is always listening, always present with me, I am safe with Him, He doesn’t share my private information with anyone. And He doesn’t mind cleaning up my bloody mess, matter of fact, that’s just what He does.

Lord God, my Father, my Savior, my Healer, my Comforter in times of pain and suffering. I pray that whoever is reading this, whatever the pain or suffering is they are going through, that you Lord would meet them right here, right now, let them feel your Holy Presence through this prayer. I ask in the name of Jesus the Christ that you would remove all sickness; mental, physical, spiritual and emotional from them. Restore them completely, bring hope and comfort to them knowing that You are who You say you are. You are the Great Physician. If there be any unrepented sin in them I ask they bring it before you right now. Cleanse them from all unrighteousness. Cause the bleeding to end, and the healing to begin. It’s in Your Name, I ask all these things, Amen.

Gonna Let it Shine

“You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14)

The Lord has been pouring oil in my lamp in preparation for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in others. I am being very intentional about having my lamp full of oil, so that the lamp will give light to everyone that comes near me. I spend a lot of time around people who are living in darkness, it is a scary, hopeless, desperate & desolate place to be. As a child I was extremely scared of the dark. I never wanted to be alone when it became dark and even in the daylight there were times I could just sense the darkness. I don’t have to fear the dark now because there is a light that burns continuously inside of me. Now that I have this light I’m gonna let it shine, shine for others to be able to see. My goal is to help others light their wick right off of mine. Sharing is caring, right? I want to share the good news of living in the light. I want to see the people blessed and living in their blessings. Have you ever had a gift for someone and you were just so excited about giving it to them because you knew it was just what they needed and you could hardly hold back? That’s how I feel about my light; Jesus. When they see me, or hear me talk, or watch me emulate Jesus I want to be able to hear them say, “Hey that light your wearing is so bright, I couldn’t see anything but the light, why is that? Where can I get a lamp like that? Be prepared to light the fire in their soul. They have been in the dark so long that they can barely see the light flickering at times when it passes by. The naked eye can detect light approximately 1.6 miles away. Yet there are things that can cloud that vision such as haze & air pollution. When people are going through things such as job loss, living on the street, addictions of any kind, relationships that are beyond repair, bad experiences even in the church, so many things I can’t possibly list them all. Everyone has their own story. Their vision gets clouded, blurred, in some cases close to blindness. It’s important that we who hold the candle make sure our wick is lit, our lamp is full of oil and ready to let our light dispel darkness. Scriptures calls us believers the “light of the world,” and urges us to shine as lights in the world of a crooked and twisted generation. All of this for the sole purpose to give glory to our Father in heaven. For at one time we were in darkness, but now we are the light in the Lord, so we should walk as children of light. So Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.” (Is. 60:1)

Rain On Me

“I will make them and the places around My hill a blessing. I will send down showers in season-showers of blessing.” (Ezekiel 34:26)

I was at a prayer meeting for revival. As much as I tried entering in to prayer asking for the Spirit of God to pour down on us as a city, a nation, the world in whole I found myself drawn to repentance. Repentance for not loving others like Jesus, for the times I felt selfish or conceited, how much more I needed to look at others with a greater significance. I became very humbled in my spirit asking instead that I could have a mind more like Christ Jesus. When he was here on earth in human form, being he was born in the likeness of men through the Virgin Mary, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death on the cross. Of course I know I will never be able to compare to the One whose name is above all names, but I’m always going to try and when I fall short which is most days, I’ll seek His face in forgiveness. After that I was able to pray for revival again, first in me. I asked the Holy Spirit to shower me with abundance, a refreshing and divine favor that would bring forth more productivity in the things God had already called me to. To reach more souls in the streets, the stores, the churches, everywhere I am, including those of you reading this. I wanted new growth in me. I wanted to have everything I needed to do more good works for His glory. I wanted Him to pour down blessings on me like the rain, like spring showers, which as I’m writing this right now the rain outside is pouring down and I have had to restart my computer 3 times already due to the power flickering off and on. Maybe God and I got our wires crossed in what kind of rain I was asking for …haha, just kidding, but it really is raining outside I just thought that was rather interesting being I was writing in regards to rain. So my prayer for revival ended something like this; asking for an abundance of grace, mercy, and prosperity that would exceed what I had already been given, allowing me to be a blessing to others in new ways. Of course I did pray for others to receive those same things. Once we left the church I began sharing with my husband in the car what I had experienced in our prayer time being we were all praying individually, when I began to cry because I was still in that humble spirit state of mind and heart. The tears made it hard for me to speak, so I stopped talking and just rested in His presence the rest of the way home. I would have to say, my prayers were answered tonight, He poured down the rain like spring showers both in the spiritual realm as well as the natural.