Blood Transfusion

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

It’s 3:05 a.m. I’ve been tossing around in my bed for the past 45 minutes trying to ignore the wakening in my spirit to no prevail, so here I am. Yesterday was my first day back writing and well I guess the Lord is making up for lost time. I feel a couple things he is speaking to me about right now. One was the words I woke up hearing, “Blood transfusion” and secondly, “Giving permission to speak into my life.” Before I went to bed I spent a couple hours reading on the Lordship of Jesus Christ and what that meant. First I’d like to say, I’ll be studying this out further so hang in there with me on this one. Reason I am sharing this with you right this moment is because the words blood transfusion could only mean that my blood count is running low and I am in need of a transfusion, a spiritual transfusion. I need the blood of Christ to fill me up with His life giving power. I am pleading the blood of Jesus over myself right now as I type, I am renewing my mind to the things of Christ so that I can discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Though I am a child of God, saved by Grace, I also still live in the present world and I am still under attack by the evil one, so I have to resist its pressure by allowing Christ Jesus to Lord over me. Surrender all things unto Him.

Skipping to “giving permission for someone to speak into my life,” two weeks ago I joined a ladies Bible study group at my church and the topic was on community. The class had been in session for two weeks already, but my first night the leader touched on giving someone permission to speak into your life. You know not everyone has permission to speak into you? Nor should you allow just anyone too. Which obviously I do not have that problem because I prefer to solve things on my own and well I am not that good at it so I thought maybe I could learn to do this. So I came home from class and immediately told my husband he had permission to speak into my life. Yeah well that lasted about a day, then I took it back. I’m a work in progress! Life was getting rougher as the week went on and I was losing more and more blood “spiritual blood” that is, I was pulling away from my life line, my source. Why do we do that? We humans can be so dumb at times it’s no wonder we are referred to as sheep in the Bible.

Fast forward, I scheduled an appointment with a therapist, one I could trust to speak into my life. I was giving this person permission, because I knew I needed help and I was not going to get it on my own. Sometimes we have to admit where we are in life and get rid of that stink’n think’n and ask for help. Of course my first help came from the Lord Himself. It was the gentle urging to go to this group and allow others to help, after all He was putting these people in my path for a reason, that I might discern His will for my life through the renewing of my mind and through the topic … “Community.” We need people to do life well. Just as Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms when he began to tire, we need our people to hold us up, that we will be able to overcome and win our battles just as Moses did.

This thing about our mind, we have got to stop letting society mold our values and behaviors, we are called to resist them. In my reading last night I was so upset with myself for just letting myself go with the flow even when it contradicts my faith, the Word of God. Real life change doesn’t just come from trying harder; it requires an inward change. You “renew your mind” by replacing worldly perspectives with God’s truth, through prayer, scripture, teachings from leaders rooted in the Word, even Therapists, of course I suggest one that relies on the teachings of Christ. As our way of thinking begins to align with God’s, that’s when we will get that spiritual clarity and be able to embrace His plans, we can see then that God’s will is “good, and pleasing and perfect”.

So, if your feeling spiritually drained or disconnected check your vital signs you may need some spiritual healing through divine blood transfusion, the ultimate source of life, Jesus Christ. He will continually restore your peace, strength, and purpose.

Successful life

What’s your top tip to be successful in life?

First pray that you’re headed in the right direction. Never do anything on a whim. You need a direct vision for what it is that you’re about to enter into. Research and more research. Find people who have already done what you’re doing and are extremely successful at it. Good role models. Find out what the costs are and not just financial cost. Be sure to take it seriously and be consistent using a well-structured plan. And remember winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win.

Father’s Day

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ (Romans 8:14-17)

I have a hard time reading all the Father’s Day comments on social media that people write regarding their earthly fathers because I never experienced those things. Matter of fact until I met Jesus I didn’t think I was ever wanted at all. Truth …until just 3 years ago I still wasn’t sure God the Father really loved me either.

Relationships can be hard at times for all people. There are so many types of relationships, some come natural and easy while others are a struggle and you find yourself in a constant battle trying to figure out how in the heck Jesus did this and how can I even come close to imitating Him in this area. I felt God must have been thinking that about me for years. Like, “what on earth is wrong with this girl? I know I don’t make mistakes, but …really? This girl, I have to question myself, what was I thinking when creating her.” But like I said 3 years ago I come to know God as my Father, the One TRUE Father. The one that loves unconditionally and without a spirit of shame, doubt or question. He knew exactly what He was doing when He created me and He said it was good. I am made in His image, so therefore I must be some kind of good, just saying.

I had been feeling less than adequate as a wife, mother, grandmother, friend, servant for God and a whole lot of, not the daughter I needed to be. I absolutely couldn’t take what I was going through a minute more. I didn’t go to church last week because of everything I was going through, actually I ended up going to therapy, two different times. Let me say right quick, therapy is okay. There was a time in my life I kept everything in and when it did come out it was like dynamite in a landmine. Today I wasn’t feeling like I wanted to be around a lot of people yet, so going to church wasn’t something I really wanted to do, but I knew I would only make matters worse if I didn’t go and I am SOooo glad I did. First the friendly faces and kind words from my church family was much needed, but then during worship, when I began to sing, the lyrics rose up inside of me lighting the fire, causing the flame to burn higher and hotter, for I was now back in relationship with my Father and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. See I had been writing a blog everyday since I began the breadandwater blog, but the last one I wrote was June 13th, eight days ago, which actually seemed like a month. I wasn’t feeling my Father’s love, hearing His voice, feeling His touch, so I couldn’t write. I chose to isolate. I did my daily chores and slept the rest of the time, until today. It’s Father’s Day and I am grateful I have a Father.

Now I would like to wish all the fathers out there a very Happy Father’s Day and even more so, a Happy Father’s Day to my Father, Abba! Father!

Little Foxes

“The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Last night there was a beautiful sky that continued on into the morning. I took pictures of it both in the evening and the morning. I made a post on social media describing how God makes everything beautiful. I felt wonderful at that moment and looking forward to a great day and then … “little fox” came along and changed everything.

27 years ago we bought our first home here in Arkansas, it wasn’t everything we would have wanted, but it became my home for the next 19 years. Coming from a background of inconsistency in having a permanent home, both as a child and as an adult, this meant more than I can explain. I use to keep track of every place I ever lived. I remembered every address, what the houses looked like, the phone numbers, I had a good memory, but that was all those places were, was memories. Eight years ago, we sold that home of 19 years and I have struggled with it this whole time. The house we bought to take the place of my home was my mother-in-laws home, her memories and my husbands memories and everyone around us their memories, five generations of memories, but not mine. I have struggled to try to make this my home because of fear of taking away their memories. But I continue to try.

Back to the “little fox.” As I was posting my daily blog I thought I should check my emails, I was expecting a response from a company I had emailed earlier in the week, when I came across a listing of my former home for sale. Suddenly looking through the 17 plus, photos of the place I began to cry. I felt as though I had just been punched in my stomach, the aching of never being able to go back to that place I once called home was literally taking my breath away. I began to see all the things I had lost since the move. My community, neighbors, my job was there, but in the move I decided I would settle for early retirement. My family was moving off, others were not coming as often as they used to and we were not making the trips we did in the past either. My grandkids once made comments about this didn’t feel like our home, it felt like Granny’s, because it was. They to grew up with memories of this place, memories of going to Granny’s. Our home was Mimi & PawPaw’s and it was at a different location than here. Pets were dying and disappearing, my husband lost his job that was suppose to take us into retirement, now we were living a very different kind of life and I no longer had my support system around me. I felt very alone, lonely was more like it. I had shingles right after we moved here for the first time, then covid hit, had that twice and nearly died the first time, ended up with breathing problems since. Brought family here from another state then the relationship fell apart. Brought a former foster of ours that was still family that was battling Leukemia, he passed after two years of trying to get to a bone marrow transplant. I went through a litter of 15 pups all by myself and did well until 6 weeks in I took them to the vet for their first series of vaccines where they contracted parvo and I lost 4 to that. My husband stayed home from work for a week and we worked day and night to keep these guys alive. My husband took another week off work to go through hospice with me and our boy before laying him to rest. I could go on for another several pages of things I lost since I made the move, but I say all this to say, “Little foxes.”

I had recently relinquished all of this loss over to the Lord when the little foxes appeared and tried to steal my joy, my hope and my peace by bringing this back up. Please hear me when I say, it’s all little foxes in the spiritual realm of life. Yes, I have lost many people and things over the years and will continue to until I make it to my final home. For me and you, if you are a believer in the One True God, Jesus Christ our Savior, then you know EVERYTHING will one day vanish.

I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future and though the little fox from this morning that decided to cause havoc in my mind and heart, he doesn’t get to stay here.

I am learning to give things over to God a whole lot quicker than I have in the past. One scripture that really stands out to me this morning is: (Psalms 30:5b) Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Will the sadness of my former home be gone completely? No, but I can have joy in knowing that God still has great plans for my life in the here and now.

Weeping does end and morning does come.

Obstacles

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10)

God views obstacles as opportunities to strengthen our faith, build character, and to show us signs of His power so that we do not quit. He promises that His grace is sufficient to overcome challenges, encouraging us believers to trust Him completely rather than relying on our own understanding and He will often times use trials to prepare us for our calling. The last two days the Lord has been revealing things to me regarding my calling. The what, why’s, how long it’s been in the works and the reasons why it has taken so long for him to reveal this to me. One of the reasons is my faith wasn’t where it needed to be in order to believe for certain things. I had to endure some things in order to come to a place where I was so weak that I would get out of God’s way so that He could show me His strength and perfect my weakness, build that faith in Him. These obstacles we go through and not always signs to turn back, or give in, it can actually be meant to overcome something through prayer, fasting and trust. Again building our faith. I had and still have things to overcome, God has done some pruning in my life, cut away a lot of dead limbs so to speak, but there’s still more to be done. Through all this I know He is purifying my purpose, asuring the ultimate goal aligns with His will versus my personal comfort, because none of this has been comfortable, yet His will is being done. This year through my walk of intentionality, I have learned to trust God in ways I never have. I have quit trying to figure things out in my own mind and went right to the Word or prayer for answers. I have been able to release much of my anxieties simply be standing in agreement with the Word of God, not only that, but I have actually been faithful in taking steps forward, all the while keeping my focus on God’s power rather than the size of my obstacle. Growing in faith! As for the revelation of why it took so long, one reason was the path needed to be prepared ahead of time. #2, God’s plan was to use my own personal experiences, my background if you will as well as, #3 educating me in order to do what I was called to do. I had to learn how to submit and surrender, I had to learn obedience and how to walk in my gifts. I had to learn to keep my heart aligned with God and continue pursuing His purpose for me. I had to learn to lean in and lean on Him. Find all the right tools, like fasting and prayer. How to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, direct and help me when I needed it, instead me trying to play Holy Ghost Jr. with God myself. I’ve had a lot of obstacles getting in the way of my calling for quite some time now. I began understanding partly what my calling was a few years back and God has been revealing more and more of it all the time, but only to the point I am able to walk in it. Bottom line, God did not allow these obstacles to prevent me from my calling, all along He was preparing me for it.

Words of encouragement; Patience is a virtue. Endure the wait or difficult situations, keep your composure, and trust God. Continue working toward what you hear the Lord calling you to. Don’t give up.

Today

For I the Lord do not change (Malachi 3:6)

Life is so unpredictable. We are aware that there are different seasons yet in the changing of seasons we are unable to predict what it will be like. Will the Spring bring lots of rain or will it be dry? Will Summer be a scorching hot one early on until it meets fall? When Fall arrives will the trees have had enough water for the leaves to turn all the beautiful colors we have been waiting to admire? Will the Winter bring ice storms? snowstorms? how much? How long? Seasons come and go nothing stays the same, except God. He is unchanging, and His faithfulness remains. These pictures of me on my 4-wheeler represent a season I am in now, for how long? I do not know. I’ve been here for a couple years, but it could all change tomorrow. Right now I am happy, content and at peace whenever I am in my element which is riding off into God’s creation wherever that may lead me. Yet I am also aware of the fact this is not something I will be doing forever. My life will change again, like many times before. I once was child and did child-like things, I was a teenager, thank God I survived that season. A young wife and mother a whole new kind of season, one that was no longer just about me. Then came the season of being a grandmother, oh the joys that have come with this season have been like heaven on earth. Now I have reached yet another season in my life, one where my husband and I are pretty much alone except an occasional visit from one of our children or grandchildren when they have time because their seasons have changed to. When this season is over will I have another season? If so, what will it look like? The answer is I don’t know, life is unpredictable, I can only live for today. There is something that I am certain of though; a particular time. I wouldn’t call this time a season because it lasts forever. Scripture says, (2 Cor. 5:8) “absent from the body …present with the Lord”) and (Luke 23:43) Jesus’ promise to the thief, indicates that believers go to be with Christ in heaven immediately after death. I know I am going to be with God for all eternity when my seasons here on earth are finished. How do I know that? By faith. Faith in the Word of God. Faith in a Risen Savior, the kind of faith (1 John 5:13-21) speaks of; to KNOW. Know occurs seven times in these verses, indicating John’s focus on the assurance and even certainty of Christian faith and salvation. These things were written to those who believe in the name of the Son of God. Romans 10:9-10 says, If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Verse 17; So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Saving faith is a deep inward trust in Christ at the core of your being. I can predict my future after my last season, because I believe. Can You?

Let’s Get Real

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Believers are NOT to be anxious, instead we are to entrust ourselves and concerns into the hands of our loving heavenly Father. He is the God of peace and it is His peace that guards us in Christ Jesus. Because God is sovereign and in control we Christians can trust Him with ALL of our difficulties. He rules over ALL creation and He is wise and loving in all of His ways. So that we can have an inward peace, along with a heart of thanksgiving.

I spent a lot of my early years as a Christian, worrying and fretting over darn near everything. I’d close my eyes and pray, sometimes with tears running down my face and then open my eyes and my mouth and cancel out everything I just turned over to him in prayer. I was taking it all back with my words of worry. I felt defeated. I felt as though I just wasted His time and mine. Have you ever been there? I wanted so bad to believe but for some reason the struggle was real. I believe I found the answer to the struggle. God tells us in scripture, “if any lacks wisdom, let him ask and He will give liberally”, so I did. I asked, “why can’t I believe for what I am asking for?” The answer was pretty simple. I had created a habit of worrying, and complaining about things, people, the past, etc. I needed to create a new habit. So everytime anxiety or worry would return, I would pray again. Consistency started paying off. Little by little I began leaving things there with God in prayer, I quit taking them back, and if I spoke anything of that thing it was the Word of God over it. I was now creating a new habit, one that clearly was to my benefit. If you can worry, you can pray. It’s a process of trading one for the other. Anxiety for Peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding. We are told to meditate on things that are pure and lovely and of good report. Worrying is meditating on the wrong things. I started giving my worries to God when I finally realized I couldn’t do anything about them, but He could. All I was told to do was what I could and what I couldn’t He would. Worry paralyzes, prayer activates faith. Faith and fear do not co-exist. Bottom line; why pray if your going to worry and fret?

Legacy

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged (Proverbs 17:6a)

The three children in this photo are the first of (12) of my grandchildren. This sibling group from left to right are now, 20, 22, and 21 years old, later came sibling number four, and might I add the 21 year old is now a father himself. Now I have been given another generation of grandchildren to pray for, to set examples for, to speak Godly wisdom over. Life is full of so many things to influence our children’s minds, that is why it is so important that we grandparents are being diligent in our prayer life. We are called to pray for our children and our children’s children, to pass down a legacy of faith, protecting our future generations from the influences of this world and the world to come. Training them how to be powerful and effective, with something that will sustain them into their old age, that thing is the Word of God and through relationship with Him. That they would learn to have a reverential fear of God all the days of their life. That’s where blessings come from. Teach your children to pray. I want my children; all of them, BLESSED. I want to know that I have done all I was instructed to do by my heavenly Father to leave a legacy that can be carried out through generations. We can read all about this kind of obedience in Deuteronomy 6. I am approaching the end of my years here on this earth, so I am living my life with a whole lot more intentionality. I use to pray for little things, now my prayers are for bigger things, eternal things. My love for my children has not changed, but what is truly important has. Psalm 92:14 mentions that the righteous “will still bear fruit in old age”, that’s me, the praying grandmother, the one they call Mimi. I was called by God to be a spiritual leader and I do that through prayer, word and example, that they too may live a long and prosperous life. Leave a Legacy they’ll remember.

Gonna Let it Shine

“You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14)

The Lord has been pouring oil in my lamp in preparation for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in others. I am being very intentional about having my lamp full of oil, so that the lamp will give light to everyone that comes near me. I spend a lot of time around people who are living in darkness, it is a scary, hopeless, desperate & desolate place to be. As a child I was extremely scared of the dark. I never wanted to be alone when it became dark and even in the daylight there were times I could just sense the darkness. I don’t have to fear the dark now because there is a light that burns continuously inside of me. Now that I have this light I’m gonna let it shine, shine for others to be able to see. My goal is to help others light their wick right off of mine. Sharing is caring, right? I want to share the good news of living in the light. I want to see the people blessed and living in their blessings. Have you ever had a gift for someone and you were just so excited about giving it to them because you knew it was just what they needed and you could hardly hold back? That’s how I feel about my light; Jesus. When they see me, or hear me talk, or watch me emulate Jesus I want to be able to hear them say, “Hey that light your wearing is so bright, I couldn’t see anything but the light, why is that? Where can I get a lamp like that? Be prepared to light the fire in their soul. They have been in the dark so long that they can barely see the light flickering at times when it passes by. The naked eye can detect light approximately 1.6 miles away. Yet there are things that can cloud that vision such as haze & air pollution. When people are going through things such as job loss, living on the street, addictions of any kind, relationships that are beyond repair, bad experiences even in the church, so many things I can’t possibly list them all. Everyone has their own story. Their vision gets clouded, blurred, in some cases close to blindness. It’s important that we who hold the candle make sure our wick is lit, our lamp is full of oil and ready to let our light dispel darkness. Scriptures calls us believers the “light of the world,” and urges us to shine as lights in the world of a crooked and twisted generation. All of this for the sole purpose to give glory to our Father in heaven. For at one time we were in darkness, but now we are the light in the Lord, so we should walk as children of light. So Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.” (Is. 60:1)

Rain On Me

“I will make them and the places around My hill a blessing. I will send down showers in season-showers of blessing.” (Ezekiel 34:26)

I was at a prayer meeting for revival. As much as I tried entering in to prayer asking for the Spirit of God to pour down on us as a city, a nation, the world in whole I found myself drawn to repentance. Repentance for not loving others like Jesus, for the times I felt selfish or conceited, how much more I needed to look at others with a greater significance. I became very humbled in my spirit asking instead that I could have a mind more like Christ Jesus. When he was here on earth in human form, being he was born in the likeness of men through the Virgin Mary, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death on the cross. Of course I know I will never be able to compare to the One whose name is above all names, but I’m always going to try and when I fall short which is most days, I’ll seek His face in forgiveness. After that I was able to pray for revival again, first in me. I asked the Holy Spirit to shower me with abundance, a refreshing and divine favor that would bring forth more productivity in the things God had already called me to. To reach more souls in the streets, the stores, the churches, everywhere I am, including those of you reading this. I wanted new growth in me. I wanted to have everything I needed to do more good works for His glory. I wanted Him to pour down blessings on me like the rain, like spring showers, which as I’m writing this right now the rain outside is pouring down and I have had to restart my computer 3 times already due to the power flickering off and on. Maybe God and I got our wires crossed in what kind of rain I was asking for …haha, just kidding, but it really is raining outside I just thought that was rather interesting being I was writing in regards to rain. So my prayer for revival ended something like this; asking for an abundance of grace, mercy, and prosperity that would exceed what I had already been given, allowing me to be a blessing to others in new ways. Of course I did pray for others to receive those same things. Once we left the church I began sharing with my husband in the car what I had experienced in our prayer time being we were all praying individually, when I began to cry because I was still in that humble spirit state of mind and heart. The tears made it hard for me to speak, so I stopped talking and just rested in His presence the rest of the way home. I would have to say, my prayers were answered tonight, He poured down the rain like spring showers both in the spiritual realm as well as the natural.