Category: More of Him less of me

Blood Transfusion

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

It’s 3:05 a.m. I’ve been tossing around in my bed for the past 45 minutes trying to ignore the wakening in my spirit to no prevail, so here I am. Yesterday was my first day back writing and well I guess the Lord is making up for lost time. I feel a couple things he is speaking to me about right now. One was the words I woke up hearing, “Blood transfusion” and secondly, “Giving permission to speak into my life.” Before I went to bed I spent a couple hours reading on the Lordship of Jesus Christ and what that meant. First I’d like to say, I’ll be studying this out further so hang in there with me on this one. Reason I am sharing this with you right this moment is because the words blood transfusion could only mean that my blood count is running low and I am in need of a transfusion, a spiritual transfusion. I need the blood of Christ to fill me up with His life giving power. I am pleading the blood of Jesus over myself right now as I type, I am renewing my mind to the things of Christ so that I can discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Though I am a child of God, saved by Grace, I also still live in the present world and I am still under attack by the evil one, so I have to resist its pressure by allowing Christ Jesus to Lord over me. Surrender all things unto Him.

Skipping to “giving permission for someone to speak into my life,” two weeks ago I joined a ladies Bible study group at my church and the topic was on community. The class had been in session for two weeks already, but my first night the leader touched on giving someone permission to speak into your life. You know not everyone has permission to speak into you? Nor should you allow just anyone too. Which obviously I do not have that problem because I prefer to solve things on my own and well I am not that good at it so I thought maybe I could learn to do this. So I came home from class and immediately told my husband he had permission to speak into my life. Yeah well that lasted about a day, then I took it back. I’m a work in progress! Life was getting rougher as the week went on and I was losing more and more blood “spiritual blood” that is, I was pulling away from my life line, my source. Why do we do that? We humans can be so dumb at times it’s no wonder we are referred to as sheep in the Bible.

Fast forward, I scheduled an appointment with a therapist, one I could trust to speak into my life. I was giving this person permission, because I knew I needed help and I was not going to get it on my own. Sometimes we have to admit where we are in life and get rid of that stink’n think’n and ask for help. Of course my first help came from the Lord Himself. It was the gentle urging to go to this group and allow others to help, after all He was putting these people in my path for a reason, that I might discern His will for my life through the renewing of my mind and through the topic … “Community.” We need people to do life well. Just as Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms when he began to tire, we need our people to hold us up, that we will be able to overcome and win our battles just as Moses did.

This thing about our mind, we have got to stop letting society mold our values and behaviors, we are called to resist them. In my reading last night I was so upset with myself for just letting myself go with the flow even when it contradicts my faith, the Word of God. Real life change doesn’t just come from trying harder; it requires an inward change. You “renew your mind” by replacing worldly perspectives with God’s truth, through prayer, scripture, teachings from leaders rooted in the Word, even Therapists, of course I suggest one that relies on the teachings of Christ. As our way of thinking begins to align with God’s, that’s when we will get that spiritual clarity and be able to embrace His plans, we can see then that God’s will is “good, and pleasing and perfect”.

So, if your feeling spiritually drained or disconnected check your vital signs you may need some spiritual healing through divine blood transfusion, the ultimate source of life, Jesus Christ. He will continually restore your peace, strength, and purpose.

Be A Professional Amateur

“Make yourself an ark of gopher wood; make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and outside with pitch.” (Gen. 6:14)

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the Ark, Professionals built the Titanic.

Noah’s most critical skills for building the ark were his unwavering faith, obedience, and project management. He could not rely solely on what he knew, it required a divine blueprint. The construction of the ark was not a one man job, Noah relied on other men and his family working together. Noah needed practical intelligence, tools, certain type of wood, a construction site. It would take all of this and more to build a vessel this size. There were so many particulars that most people would have given up at the first glance at the bluesprint, but he didn’t.

In (Genesis 6:14-22) we see God’s direct command and instruction, guiding Noah, helping him to perfect what there is no way possible for him to do on his own. Noah didn’t fear what he didn’t know, at least we know he didn’t let it keep him from what he was called to do, instead he relied on the One who gave him the ability to do the task set before him. Verse 14: God commands the construction. Verse 15: God specifies the dimensions. Verse 16: God orders him to put in the window, door and decks. Verse 17: God announces the coming flood. Verse 18: God establishes a covenant with Noah and his family. Verse 19-21: God instructs Noah what to bring into the ark. Verse 22: Noah obeys and completes everything exactly as God commanded.

I have let many opportunities pass me by in my life due to fear of failure. I know for a fact there were things I could have accomplished if I would have taken my eyes off of me and put my trust in God, He would have made a way for me to achieve those things. Age is a funny thing, the older I get the less I rely on myself. I find myself trying new things for the first time, or hearing God speak to me about doing specific things that I wouldn’t have even attempted to do in the past. But, before doing it I am also seeking God for guidance, direction, and instruction, how will this best serve Him and whoever it may involve. I have always been a little OCD and perfectionism has been a bad habit, which is another reason for not trying things in the past, can’t fail, right?! Well you also cannot learn if you do not try. You cannot move in the direction God is leading you if you do not obey. Obedience is the greatest tool if you are being obedient to the One who is Perfect. None of us are or ever will be perfect while on this earth, sorry to those who thought they were. We are all amatures until the day of perfection. When Jesus Christ returns and believers enter heaven.

“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.” (1 John 3:2)

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

It’s time to release control again, quiet my mind, and find peace. In Hebrew, “be still” is raphah-meaning to let go, relax, and surrender the need to strive. How many of you are striving for one thing or another right now in your life? What’s going on in your mind over and over that you just never really seem to have a real peace? What are you holding on to that needs surrendering? For me I find myself in this place more often than I’d like to admit and more often than I ever should be.

Sitting on a rock at a fresh stream of water reminds me of Jesus my Rock, Living Waters refreshing my soul as I still my mind to the sound of the bubbling brook. I realize at that moment I don’t have to carry the weight of everything myself. This is where I release all the heaviness and I find strength in the resting. Inhaling the words “Be still” and exhaling “and know that I am God.” There is where my peace is.

I have to have these moments alone with God. Being alone in general is not enough, I need deliberate time and away from everything, no phone, all distractions, just focusing on God’s presence.

Sometimes I journal the things that are stressing me out, then I will pray over them and ask God to help me surrender them to Him. I rarely go back to that paper simply because it works. I give it to God, He takes it and it’s finished, time to move on. Knowing He is God allows me to spend my time reflecting on His power, and love for me instead of my problems. It also allows me to see how small my problems are in comparison to how big our God is. I was just praying tonight with a group of people from an outreach ministry I am involved in and that was my prayer, “God these things we are seeking you for are small in comparison to how big you are.” When we can look at it in those terms we can find rest in Him.

My prayer for everyone reading this including myself is this. God help us to stop, to be quiet, to be still, and to remember to know that you are God and that you are all-powerful, You are all-sovereign. Amen

Discontentment

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ( Philippians 4:11)

Paul’s been through some stuff and he knows what it’s like from every angle of life, yet he knew and talked about being content more than anyone else.

Okay this is straight talk from myself for a minute. Discontentment is a sneaky enemy. I can get angry about something, it’s just there right now, in the moment and that’s that. Or fear, something happens or doesn’t happen and anxiety starts taking over right away, but discontentment hits when I least expect it, everything is just rocking along. My day will be going great, heck I may even be at church praising God and giving Him all the glory for all the good things He is doing in my life, done in my life and gonna do in my life and then like a thief in the night the enemy has come and stole my joy, got me thinking all kinds of things. Likely because I heard someone else talking about something and suddenly I felt I didn’t have what I thought I should have. Like,”Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have so much to take care of around our home, we could be out doing what so-n-so is doing, wouldn’t that be nice?” Or “We sure didn’t think this whole retirement thing through like we should have had we, we would be doing a lot more than we are.” “Dang we are getting old, if we were young like them we could __________fill in the blank.” See how the enemy snuck that one right in there? I just went from being content and I really am for the most part, until the enemy comes along and gets in my head and I decide to entertain those thoughts and that’s all that is, is thoughts. God blessed us with a nice home, we have lived good healthy lives this far, if we would stop allowing busyness to steal our time we would take vacations, even just more day trips. We aren’t in lack, God has been good to us, so how did I suddenly just become discontent?

The Israelites’ journey in the dessert; despite being freed from slavery, they grew dissatisfied with God’s provision and complained against Him. Discontentment will cause us to start grumbling and complaining just like they did. We start acting like God is withholding good things or he doesn’t know what’s best for us. Paul tells us that contentment is learned. Paul struggled with imprisonment and hardship but wrote in (Philippians 4:11-13) that he learned the secret of being content in (any) situation, relying on the strength Christ provides. There is some true gain from having a relationship with God rather than all this worldly stuff that brings about being discontent, (1 Timothy 6:6) “godliness with contentment is great gain”. We need to set our minds on the things above, not on earthly things”(Colossians 3:2). We also need to protect our minds. I once read a book, “Where the mind goes, the man follows” and that is true. Don’t be a follower of the enemy, be a Christ Follower.

Moving Forward

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14)

If I am being held back from accomplishing anything, it is because of the battle between fear and faith. I know I have in the past and sometimes still find myself shrinking back in the present just not nearly as much as I use to, limiting my own self by doubting instead of trusting His calling. Because I have always had the people pleasing syndrome, spirit of perfectionism, I have allowed fear and insecurity to hold me back. Fear, failure, judgment, or even the unknown have been reasons for holding me back from stepping into my true identity. I spent a lot of time with the Lord trying to figure out how to move past this. Through much prayer and surrender God blessed me with a new boldness, one that makes me say now “YES I CAN” and “YES I WILL,” I’m not scared. If God called me to it, well he will obviously equip me to achieve the task. I’m moving forward, not backward. I am focused on my future, what’s ahead of me. God has been doing a new thing in me and I am not hiding who the new me is He is creating.

If God is calling you into something new, a new purpose, or bolder version of yourself, He promises He will be your strength. You just need to replace your internal doubts by renewing your mind with what Scripture says about your value and your purpose. Remember we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10) Let your light shine, people need to see it, this is how we encourage others to move out of their fears and doubts, and move into their call, their purpose in life.

Moving Forward With Purpose and Taking People With me

Friends

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

Do you have a friend that will stick by you even in your worst times? That’s the kind of friend this scripture is talking about. Proverbs 18:23-19:4, talks about friends & companions. How some, the majority rather only stay close by as long as your fortune is good; in bad times, they disappear. I’ve experienced both as I am sure you have to. I believe that is just life. Take the good with the bad. Though I am very pleased to say, I do have a few select friends that resemble this verse above, I am blessed.

The Bible describes true friendship as a steadfast, loving covenant. Loyalty, speaking truth in love, and offering mutual support in times of hardship. True friendship is NOT a one-way street. Friends should encourage one another, be uplifting when your down, helping us keep our character in tact, when we are losing our whole mind and about to make a huge mistake. Boy, the times I can thank a friend for that one. A loyal friend will love you at all times, no facade needed, they know you and they love you, that simple. They stand by you and have your back when others are attacking you from behind. They are there no matter what the season is that you are in. Of course I personally have not experienced this one, but I hear it on the news a lot, the friend that will lay down his life for you. Give it up to our men and women in blue that every day go out and put their lives on the line for each of us. That is the ultimate example of friendship, laying down one’s life for others, as modeled by Jesus Himself. John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” We have a friend in Jesus, unlike any other friend out there. The Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 talks about his personal relationship with Christ Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. You can have that same relationship that Paul speaks of by saying this simple prayer.

I believe that you Jesus died on the cross for me and rose from the dead. I ask you right now to come into my life and to forgive me of my sins. Help me Lord to live a life pleasing to you. Thank you Jesus, for laying down your life for mine. Amen

I have a friend in Jesus! Now you do to.

Little Holy Ghost Jr.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

I’m gonna start this right off with … GUILTY! I am SOoo guilty of trying to play Holy Ghost Jr with God, as if He needs my help …EVER! I know I am suppose to rely on God totally, trusting in his ways and his timing, let him carry my burden when I am overwhelmed, but I just think he might need my help once in awhile. Sadly mistaken, because he doesn’t. He absolutely knows what he is doing and it is perfect, if I will just stay out of the way. When he talks about Him being the vine and me being the branch, that means I am to stay connected to Christ not the other way around. It’s also not trying to carry the load that only the vine can carry. Being connected and being a Jr. are not the same. Matter of fact there is no such thing. All we do is complicate things for ourselves by getting in his way. I like to think of it as when I am working in the house, say cooking, and my husband says he will do the dishes afterwards. Now I am probably gonna hear it over this one, but just being a little honest here. I have my way of cleaning up the kitchen and it is not even close to the way my husband does it. In his defense he doesn’t ever say, “Hey let me clean the kitchen for you,” instead he says, “I’ll do the dishes.” You see in my thinking, if I am going to do dishes I am going to clean the entire kitchen, stove, countertops, maybe wipe down the fridge, a couple appliances, clean the sink afterwards you see where I’m going with this. When he does the dishes that is exactly what he is going to do, dishes. Here is another scripture for you, or me; “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” Isaiah 55:8-9. How about this one; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” Proverbs 3:5-6.

The positive part of this is, I don’t have to rely on my own strength, ways or power to do the things. He tells me I can do all things (through Him) who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13). See He is not asking for my help, instead He is asking me to rely on Him, it is through Him that I will be able to do all things, not with Him. In Isaiah 40:29: “He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.” And lastly, 1 Peter 5:7: “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” I am guilty of getting in God’s way at times, but I also know I cannot do anything on my own without seeking Him first if I want it to turn out good or right. I’m not talking about the dishes, or cooking or doing the laundry, mowing the grass, those things. I am talking about the issues of life, the ones that require a BIG God and a little me. Less of me and MORE of Him. Another bad habit I once had, I say once because this one I am actually getting much better at. I am now releasing things over to God and letting him keep them. I am being more intentional and focused on staying out of his way. I have lived the role of playing Holy Ghost Jr and that’s all that was, playing. My life is no game, I am taking it seriously these days and I am taking God and His Word seriously. So if you are one that thinks God needs your help, I can assure you, He doesn’t. All he needs from you and I is to trust Him.

Let God be God

Half-Minded Living

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Matthew 6:27)

Max Lucado is one of my all time favorite authors. I love to read his books and listen to him teach, he just seems to speak my language. I don’t get rid of books I have read very often, mainly because I write in them, I take notes on things that really stick out to me and later I go back and re-read them. Well, this is one of those books, I’m about to share something he said about worry. He used two words; “whaddifs” and” howells.” Here are a couple examples of what those two words look like in a sentence. “Whaddif it rains at my wedding?” Whaddif after all my dieting, they learn that lettuce is fattening and chocolate isn’t?” “Howell I know when to discipline my kids?” “Howell we pay for our baby’s tuition?” Like I said he uses my language. Worry really does empty us of tomorrow’s strength. Worry divides the mind. The biblical word for worry (merimnao) is a compound of two Greek words, merizo (“to divide”) and nous (“the mind”). Anxiety splits our energy between today’s priorities and tomorrow’s problems. Part of our mind is on the now and the rest of it is on the not yet. That’s half-minded living.

Let’s look at it from another aspect, what else does worry cause? Worry of itself is not a disease, but it causes diseases. High blood pressure, heart trouble, migraine headaches, thyroid malfunctions and a whole slew of stomach disorders. Worry has NEVER brightened a day, solved a problem, or cured a disease, yet here’s your transparency moment with Deb …GUILTY on all accounts of worry. I know one of my biggest health issues comes from just that worrying and your probably thinking, “If you know that why are you doing it?” Good question, I’m still asking myself that to. This is just another area of life I am trying to hand over to Jesus, laying it at His feet and letting Him carry the burden. It takes practice, like anything we are trying to learn in life, practice is required. I can’t think of anything I have done in life that was a true accomplishment the very first time I tried. Thank God, that He is patient. He wants us free of anything that is keeping us from living our best life. Worry doesn’t have to be one of those things hindering my best life or yours, keep surrendering it until one day victory is yours/mine. By the way the photo in the blog hangs on my bedroom wall, I see it everyday, multiple times. I love how God is constantly ministering to me while writing these blogs. Time with Him is so rewarding, I am learning and receiving so much while sharing with y’all. To God be all the glory.

A New Chapter

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Transformation here we come!

Ruth: Her story of loss and widowhood was rewritten into one of redemption, honor and becoming part of the lineage of Jesus.

Job: His story of unfathomable suffering was transformed when God restored his life, giving him twice as much as he had before.

The Woman at the Well: Jesus broke her cycle of shame and failed relationships, rewriting her story into one of purpose as a witness.

Won’t He? Yes He will. God is not a respecter of persons, if he did it for them he will do it for me. God can’t do what our free will will not allow Him to, so here we go, have your way Lord. I Have struggled writing this today, I actually wrote it yesterday but when I woke up this morning the Holy Spirit had me do a little revising. I needed corrected about a thing or two. As I was writing I was steadily wanting to take over the message that He was giving me, taking the pen right out of His hand already. I heard Him loud and clear this morning saying, “If I’m going to be able to continue writing your story, you are going to need to surrender and be obedient as in the past when I was doing a new thing in you.” Correction is never easy, but oh so worth the value. Obviously being this is a new chapter in my life, I haven’t been here before so I have no way of knowing what this looks like, well not completely. God has been more than generous in giving me little peaks into what lies ahead, rather some areas that are going to require change. One of the areas is in stewarding my time. Who ,What, When and Why are some questions that I am going to have to ask myself before taking on the task. God revealed to me that many of the hurts I have been experiences in my life of late are due to taking on responsibilities of others that are not my cross to bear. When I look at ministry, it’s not just serving in a particular area of the church, it’s more than that. I see it in every area of my life. My family has always been my first ministry, unfortunately I have missed it on several occasions. I see a new range of focus in my future story. One that allows others to pick up their cross and follow Jesus, my only part is to lead them to Him. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I have missed it time and time again all because I couldn’t say no, or I didn’t want to see them going in the wrong direction so I took the cross for them, that is not nor ever was God’s best, it was simply me in a ditch effort to try to help, which I was the one who ended up in the ditch sadly to say. But hey, God’s mercies are new every morning and His grace is sufficient, to prepare a new way, a new path for me to walk in. Hallelujah! I have heard things said about me that are lies straight from hell. I’m not going to allow hate, resentment or unforgiveness to keep me from the place that the Lord is wanting to take me, instead I will say as Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). I, like Jesus am feeling the immense pain from what others have said and done to me, but I too have to choose how I will respond. There are so many words in the Word of God that pertain to who I am, and I am claiming them for myself, that I may have life and have it more abundantly. God says, I am victorious, loved, redeemed (Proverbs 18:21) Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him …” This is a promise that God can and will use past negative experiences to create a positive, redemptive story in my life. I am ready to close this chapter and move on to the next. God is the author of my life, not my circumstances. The weakness that I have been feeling is going to be my new strength. In the book of Isaiah …a way in the wilderness; God says, where there is no clear path forward, He will create one. Rivers in the desert; where there is no natural relief or refreshment, God provides it. A little further down in Isaiah, God promises to pour His life-giving Spirit upon his weary people, all of this is for His glory. I am ready for God to receive all the glory in my new story. I’m done repeating cycles like the woman at the well. I’m looking for redemption like Ruth, to be honored for the good that I do. Not from people, but from my Heavenly Father, the One who knows me and knows my worth. Re-write, re-direct, whatever that may look like, I’m ready.

Letting Go …and Letting God write what I cannot.

Open Wounds

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the contrite in spirit.” (Ps.34:18)

Up close and personal today. There are some ares in my life that I am still not able to share about because the wounds have not healed and they are susceptible to infection. I believe there are many that can relate to this. Issues of the heart are no joking matter, they are real like the breath in my lungs. Some days it feels as if healing is impossible, when every little thing that touches it causes the wound to begin bleeding again. Yet I know I am not broken I am simply in a place of deep transition, transitioning into the person God wants me to be. I know that if I turn to Him with this unbearable pain He will be there to heal my wounds but sometimes it is still a hard thing to do. I cannot rush the process though because there is work being done, I have to trust the process. Believe it or not, crying and feeling the pain is not a sign of crumbling but rather releasing and letting the healing begin. Sometimes while the wound is in this state you have to stay away from the thing that caused the injury in the first place, creating space for emotional detachment. I write because this is an outlet for me to release and process my emotions. I find that listening to worship music is a great help, because the lyrics are those that bring truth and good thoughts to my mind. I begin focusing on the things that are lovely, pure and of good report versus the thing that has me broken at the time. Nature is my go to place, it has a way of putting me in a completely different mood, relieves the stress of it all. Sometimes I fall into isolation, never a good thing, being with others is crucial to healing. God will use the right people to speak the right things to you that you cannot hear at that very moment. Whatever we are going through that is keeping this wound from healing completely does not define who we are, our future or our worth. Instead we need to see this is a chance to grow stronger and wiser. Don’t worry about the situation, just focus on your own recovery. Let God do what you cannot do. Obviously I am talking to myself here as well as you. Again I am processing, what I need to do in order to receive my healing. The scripture in Psalms tells us that God is not distant, but active in comforting those in pain. He offers us comfort, He is present and He will heal those with shattered emotions or crushed spirits. Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. He is our refuge when overwhelmed, our strength when hope seems lost and He promises that heartbreak will not have the final word.

Okay, I feel better … how about you?