Personal experiences and revelations of a sinner saved by grace.
Author: Debbie Simmons
I am a Northerner by birth, a Southerner by choice. I moved from Michigan directly after High School to Texas, I currently live in Arkansas. I am married to the man that changed my whole outlook on relationships, together we share 4 children, 12 grandchildren and recently a great-grandchild, as well as many other children we call our own. I have been raising children all my adult life in one form or another, from my own, to fostering, to teaching at school & church and any that were just in need of a mom. l received salvation when I was 12 years old at vacation Bible school with my grandfather who was a Minister. I didn't find out what a Christian was until I was 33, that's when my life began to change. I have been studying the Word of God ever since, but more importantly I have come to know Him. I never had the daddy/daughter relationship with my earthly father, but I certainly do now with my heavenly Father. I can't even tell you how blessed I am to have come to the understanding of who I am because of what He has done. I know I am a sinner saved by grace and grateful for it. I am not where I want to be, but I also know I'm not where I used to be, Praise be to God! Currently I am retired and by the direction of the Holy Spirit I have been given an assignment to write, with great intention. That He, my Father might be glorified.
He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. (Matthew 28:6)
This is not the tomb where Jesus arose from, it is a picture I took of a enormous rock while riding 4-wheelers through the mountains. Easter is just a few days away and this picture started me thinking about the tomb they had placed Jesus in. We, Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion as told in the Bible (Matthew 28:6). It signifies victory over death, sin, and the promise of eternal life, it is a celebration of the new covenant, sins are forgiven and in turn we are offered eternal life. This is our hope, hope in Jesus. Easter is celebrated on Sunday; that’s the day the Bible says Jesus rose from the dead. Easter/Resurrection Sunday is celebrated as a unique, world changing event that occurred on the first day of the week, validating the Scriptures and as tradition would have it it also marks the end of Lent. Revelation 1:18 (NIV): “I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades”. I also was dead in my sins until I gave my life over to Jesus. He took the keys and opened the prison doors of my heart and set me free. John 11:25-26 (NIV) “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die'”. Because of the resurrection I have hope and assurance of my future and eternal life, and you can too. Even though this physical body, this shell will one day pass away, my spirit will live forever and ever with my Lord and Savior, for I have been redeemed. “He is risen indeed!”
“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)
Do you have some unchecked resentment, anger, or toxic attitudes that are growing beneath the surface? If so, these roots eventually will cause you emotional, spiritual, or relational damage, usually stemming from offenses, disappointments, unresolved feelings of being wronged, betrayed or unforgiveness. I assure you this force will spoil your joy and ruin your peace. In the scripture above we are warned about the trouble it will cause, a deep-seated animosity toward others around you. Like this tree the roots were under ground, you weren’t able to see them until one day they grew outward. Our bitterness is like the roots of the tree, it isn’t always seen until it produces “fruit”-outward actions like sarcasm, hostility, negativity, resentment, or bad behaviors caused from pain, jealousy, or lack of forgiveness, the list goes on and on. The consequences if left unchecked, can lead to severe anger, broken relationships, isolation, faith being challenged, even physical/emotional sickness. By addressing it, bringing it to light, forgiving our offender, practicing intentional joy, and relying on grace we can overcome and rid this root once and for all. This is not just a personal feeling, it spreads and it affects others. As I sit here ruminating on this root I realize how many times I have dealt with this in my life and as easy as it is to write what I know to be true, it sometimes is hard to follow, that’s why I need grace. I need the Holy Spirit, my Paraclete, my Helper. Jesus promises me an “Advocate,” “Helper,” “Counselor” in John’s Gospel to be present with me forever. He is the One who comes alongside, indwelling in me offering guidance into truth, comfort, and strength, never leaving me alone instead making it possible for me to overcome. This is where I find myself being honest with God and myself admitting my anger and forgiving the offender. This is where I stop the ruminating on the offense and move past. This is where I replace negative thoughts with gratitude for the positive aspects of my life. This is where the good fruit grows.
But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:10)
God’s grace has made me who I am today, just as Paul saw his conversion from “persecutor” to “apostle to the Gentiles” to be a free and wholly underserved gift of God. I to have been set free through the salvation provided for me through the precious blood of Jesus. Sin has a way of creeping in, and God has provided a way to be freed from it. Easter is approaching and I have had Jesus on my mind and just what all He endured for me to have this freedom. Many years ago, an evangelist came to my home church and his message was titled, ‘The Price Has Been Paid.” I was a new Christian at the time, so I was just learning of this thing called forgiveness of sins and how, who and what all could be forgiven. This message was so intense in how he described what Jesus went through, from the drinking of the cup, what all was in that cup, to the way to the cross and finally on the cross. By the time he finished his message I was bawling. I couldn’t believe God would allow His Son to go through all of that for me. I knew I was a sinner in need of a Savior, but I never expected my Savior would have to pay such a price as that. As a mother I have sacrificed. As a wife I have sacrificed. As a friend I have sacrificed. I have never sacrificed like that. I remember the one area of forgiveness I was struggling most in was, forgiving myself. At that time, I had a knowing that God had forgiven me, others had forgiven me, but I was hung up on forgiving myself. I felt so bad about certain things I had done in my life, but there was a part in this teaching that night about forgiving ourselves. This was the part that changed everything for me. Ivan Tait the evangelist said, “If you cannot forgive yourself, you are saying to Jesus that He didn’t pay a big enough price for your sins.” That was all it took. I knew that moment it was time to lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Since then whenever I find myself being convicted of something, I don’t hold on to it, He paid the price for me to be who I am, and His mercy and grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). I have received that unmerited favor, I didn’t earn it, it was a free gift (Ephesians 2:8-9) free to me because He paid the price. Today again, I thank you Jesus; for what you have done for me, transforming me through your power and love.
You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Ps. 16:11)
Yesterday was such a refreshing in my soul. My husband and I spent the entire day enjoying being in the elements of this beautiful nature God created for us. We get so busy just doing life that we don’t take enough time to simply bask in His presence, allowing our souls to be filled with joy, “unspeakable joy.” The trees are in bloom, the waterfalls and streams are flowing from the spring rains, flowers are budding. The forecast was: God reigns and the Son shines, it was a beautiful day. A day to be taken in with every breath, exhaling with all thanks and gratitude. There is none like You Lord. As much as I enjoyed the day, spending it with my husband riding the trails on our ATV’s, I couldn’t help but see God everywhere. I would be rolling right along and suddenly come to an almost stop in awe of His wonderful creation before me. The cliffs of the rocks and how flowers were blooming out of them. A trunk of a tree that some animal had managed to create a home for himself. The ripples in the water and the rocks how they had changed over so many years and the sound of the water flowing was so soothing to my ears, so peaceful. True joy and fulfilment can only be found in God’s presence, and I was certainly there in His presence. I knew our time of joy out there was going to end soon, but my intimacy with God is a lasting satisfaction and joy. This day was temporary, like many things we do in life, but God offers us everlasting, eternal blessings and happiness, rather than just temporary, earthly pleasure. My destination yesterday was Mill Creek Trails, my destination with God is a place of security, peace, and eternal reward, “Joy Unspeakable.”
But He would withdraw to desolate places and pray (Luke 5:16)
Jesus frequently withdrew from crowds to pray, it was a continual practice of regularly withdrawing and praying, prioritizing his ministry over meeting every demand. I recently deactivated my Facebook for 7 days, I needed a time out. I have found that occasionally it is important for me to turn off social media to allow myself time to get closer to God. Sometimes I have things that just don’t make sense to me or my heart may be hurt or feeling like I need a little help getting through some issue, this time I was at a loss for words and didn’t know why. Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to protect our hearts, which means to set boundaries to protect our mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. So, in order for me to be the best I can be at the things God has called me too I sometimes, like Jesus need a time out to pray, to seek Him. Galatians 6:5; Each of us has to bear our own load. Our actions and choices allows us to set limits/boundaries on the things that are getting in the way of us spending that crucial “time out” with God, without feeling guilted. Setting boundaries is not unkind; it is a form of self-respect. Before crucial decisions or during high stress times, Jesus would withdraw to maintain his connection with God the Father and avoid the noise. I to have found that just deactivating social media is not enough, it sometimes requires not talking to anyone during that time too. A real sabbatical experience. You may find people that can’t understand that, but even the disciples in Mark 1:36-37 said to Jesus, “everyone is looking for you.” Peter and the others only see the needs so they don’t understand why Jesus went away to pray. Once Jesus has finished he is then able to go on and do what the Father has called him too and I too can do the same. Immediately after the time out I heard exactly what the Lord wanted me to say. My intentionality for writing had not left me, but I knew I could not write without His leading and now I was prepared once again. You see, being intentional about “EVERYTHING” in my life, means “EVERYTHING!” I matter, my health matters, my sanity matters, relationships that don’t question my actions and choices of what is best for me matters, my calling matters, most importantly what God says to me matters most. Jesus is my example, when I don’t know what to do; what would Jesus do? He took a time out and prayed, he set boundaries and I did the same. Just being Intentional.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jer. 1:5)
God is completely sovereign. He knows all things even before they happen, so He knew Jeremiah even before he was formed in his mother’s womb. God’s plan for Jeremiah was that he be consecrated, or “set apart,” for preaching God’s word. His ministry was to be a prophet to the nations, not just to Israel (Jer. 25:1-14; 46:1-51). God has a plan for each of our lives as well, (Jer. 29:11). He set us apart before birth as well, every person is a unique masterpiece, not a copy.
When you know you’re different and you are okay with it, God will cause you to be right where He wills you to be and you’ll find you haven’t been left out at all. Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities; but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. (1 Cor. 12:4-6). There are several scriptures that speak of being “different” or a unique person-set apart from the worlds standards-it is essential for doing the work of the Lord. God uses diverse personalities and gifts to serve Him. And remember what the Word says in Colossians (3:22-23); what we do we do with sincerity of heart being to the Lord, not for eye service or people pleasing. Whatever you do, work heartly as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord. So be different, be the unique individual God created you to be.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb.13:8)
Does your life ever feel like this weather report? One extreme to another? No consistency? My life has and still does at times. I can get to many irons in the fire and suddenly feel like I’m going from 90-nothing in seconds flat. I have moments of feeling like wonder woman and then find out her powers were not even real. Or, I get stuck in a rut of allowing my emotions to dictate my day vs allowing my helper; the Holy Spirit to direct me. I go from bad to worse until I look to God, then my life comes back into a constant sense of peace. The only way I can stay constant in my life is to rely on Him. God promises me that through consistent effort, particularly in obedience to Him, it will lead to fruitful results. Galatians 6:9: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”. If we will find ourselves imitating Jesus as in the scripture above; stay the same, how much more fruit might we bear? I don’t want to be like the wind, changing directions day to day. I think about the character of Jesus how trustworthy He is: yesterday; active in creation, today; offering salvation, and forever; reigning in heaven. I put my trust in Him fully and if I want others to trust me it’s important that I be consistent, that they may know what to expect from me at any given time. I think about my husband and all the times he has left for work not knowing who he was going to come back home to. Like I mentioned before I have allowed my emotions to be inconsistent, not a good thing. The fruit that was being produced was not even good enough to throw out to the wild animals. Don’t mistake consistency as we are never meant to change anything in our life or in ourself. There are times in life when we are waiting for change, yet we need to remain consistent in what we are doing in order to ensure the results we are aiming for, despite temporary setbacks. I am going through a situation right now that is requiring me to remain the same until the Lord shows me otherwise; I do not change. I am learning self-discipline through the waiting, not allowing my thoughts and my emotions and my timing to interfere with Gods. I am hoping the outcome of my reputation in this and the fact that I can be relied upon will be good fruit that I and all involved will glean from. I also, pray that through all of this that it will help strengthen me to be more consistent in other areas of my life, forming a new habit, making it easier to overcome obstacles in my life compared to being so sporadic. So when I think of change, this would be a good area to practice change. I’m not trying anymore to be perfect, I found that developing consistency is much more effective than perfection and it’s doable. My words will be enough when others see the consistency in them, they will know what to expect from me, (that’s just a note to self). I am tired of being tired mentally. I have found when I make consistency a part of my daily routine it allows me to stay focused on my goal and it reduces the stress. Last thing I have to say regarding this new habit of consistency is, follow through! Stay committed to your belief in your capability to achieve your goal, build that confidence that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). He is our divine support, we can face any challenge and find contentment in all circumstances, and overcome any obstacle. The power comes from Christ, not from within ourselves.
But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light; ( 1 Peter 2:9)
HE CHOSE US and WE MATTER!
Yesterday was the second annual fundraiser for my dear friends Non-Profit organization, which I have had the opportunity to help host both years. I also, am given the opportunity to sit in on these amazing guest speakers Break-Outs throughout the day. This conference is an emotional health conference for professionals. To help equip them to better serve their employees, co-workers, patients whatever field of work that might be. And more importantly learning how to better care for themselves so that they can be the best version of themselves doing what they do without the feeling of they are not enough, they do not matter or all to often …burnout. I tell you that to also say, I’m NOT a professional of any kind, but I MATTER. And because I matter and so do all the volunteers that come to help out in the conference we are ALL given the opportunity to sit in on any topic we feel might help us to be the best version of ourself. This picture of the chimney was from one of the Guest Speakers and I am sure she would not mind if I shared her name and or even a little bit about her. Lynette Thrower; her topic was on “The Matters of Mattering” which is also the name of her book she authored. “The Matters of Mattering: I, You, We Matter,” regarding belonging, validation, and emotional authenticity. Her teaching challenges us to reflect on how we assign our value, especially in relation to our performance, productivity, and personal worth. If you look her up on Instagram you can see how she defines herself; Lover of YHWH. Prayer warrior. Peaceful poet. She realizes her life matters and so does ours. The chimney was an illustration from a Highlight magazine back in the day. I didn’t get a picture of the first clip, but it was a large chimney telling the small chimney that he was to small to smoke. This was suppose to be a riddle in the magazine, but there was so much more to be taken from that photo than a riddle. Here was this happy little chimney doing what he knew he was suppose to do and then being told, your to little to smoke. The little chimney became afraid of his purpose so then refuses to smoke. And as you may already know, a chimney must smoke in order to keep the house from backing up with smoke, and from the air becoming toxic and people getting harmed. So there is purpose in a smoking chimney. If the chimney/we allow what others say to us we can find ourself withdrawing from our purpose, preoccupied with the criticism, and then our vision of ourself becomes distorted. We begin to feel insignificant, invisible or unimportant to others. We are then no longer doing what God created us for or our God-given gift or talent. When that kind of fear takes hold of us, we begin to distort how we see ourselves and our place in this world. We begin having false beliefs about the role we were designed to fulfill. I recently felt all of that in my blog writing. I called it writers remorse when telling my husband about it. As Lynette says, “Our lives are meant to be a beautiful symphony of purpose and belonging, but fear introduces a dissonance that can overwhelm our sense of mattering.” I’m not going to go into the complete teaching on this, but I wanted to share from the beginning because we do have purpose and we do matter and that “WE” is EVERYBODY. God says we are: Chosen (John 15:16), Loved (Jeremiah 31:3), Forgiven (1 John 1:9), Precious (Is. 43:4), Strong (Is. 40:31), Unique (Ps. 39:13), Important (1 Peter 2:9), Protected (Ps. 121:3), Enough (2 Cor. 12:9). So we are able to say, I am____________, you fill in the blank. Be that little chimney and SMOKE with your calling, gift or talent.
For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Phil. 4:11)
I can be content and find peace by accepting situations, material things I have or don’t have as well as current relationships I’m in exactly as they are. Because I am not relying on what or they can or will do for me. Even though while being content with whatever my present situation may be, I am still striving for improvement and personal growth. I am still working on improving in the area of managing my stress, reducing my anxieties, trying to be more positive and calmer in specific situations. I am a work in progress. When I spend some mindful time meditating on being content, what exactly does that require of me? One of the first things that comes to mind is; what am I grateful for right now, this very minute? I have to start in the right now, my current situation. Because it is usually my current situation that has me feeling discontent. I have to avoid comparing myself to others. That is a huge one for me. I always feel like I don’t measure up, I see all my flaws whether anyone else does or not. If I am content, then I will have a quiet sense of peace and satisfaction in knowing I am enough. There is a very spiritual part in this that goes deep, it’s an inner sense of completeness, not relying on my eternal being, but instead who I am on the inside. That is … who I am. That is who God created me to be. I heard many times in life what I was not and what I was incompetent at, people have even shared their value of me. I don’t say that for pity sake, I say that because we need to learn to hear what our creator has to say about us, not others. We cannot be content with what others say, only what our Creator says. The One that gave you life, made you in His image, doesn’t make mistakes. The One that says, I have a plan for you and a hope for your future and it is GOOD. I know you may be thinking, “well yesterday you just spoke of how you were not content in your home here on earth. That contentment to you was your home in heaven.” And that is correct. Because that is truth. God has already explained to me the reason for the discontentment. This is not my home, I’m just traveling through, it’s a journey on my way home. By knowing this I can now be content. Truth allows you a sense of contentment, while wondering and worrying will bring you discontentment. “I give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess. 5:18). Contentment is learned (Phil. 4:11b) “….for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” I am making it a goal to set my mind on the things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil.4:8) and FIND the presence of the God of peace (Phil.4:9) I am learning to be content.
Bread and Water 