Personal experiences and revelations of a sinner saved by grace.
Author: Debbie Simmons
I am a Northerner by birth, a Southerner by choice. I moved from Michigan directly after High School to Texas, I currently live in Arkansas. I am married to the man that changed my whole outlook on relationships, together we share 4 children, 12 grandchildren and recently a great-grandchild, as well as many other children we call our own. I have been raising children all my adult life in one form or another, from my own, to fostering, to teaching at school & church and any that were just in need of a mom. l received salvation when I was 12 years old at vacation Bible school with my grandfather who was a Minister. I didn't find out what a Christian was until I was 33, that's when my life began to change. I have been studying the Word of God ever since, but more importantly I have come to know Him. I never had the daddy/daughter relationship with my earthly father, but I certainly do now with my heavenly Father. I can't even tell you how blessed I am to have come to the understanding of who I am because of what He has done. I know I am a sinner saved by grace and grateful for it. I am not where I want to be, but I also know I'm not where I used to be, Praise be to God! Currently I am retired and by the direction of the Holy Spirit I have been given an assignment to write, with great intention. That He, my Father might be glorified.
For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. (Heb. 13:14)
As a Christian I realize this world is a temporary dwelling, this will not last, but there is a place I am going that will last for eternity. That is the place I will call home. This picture above is a place I called home for nineteen years. I never saw myself leaving it, mostly because I had lived in more places in my life than I can even count. From a young child throughout my life I was constantly moving. No place ever really felt like home. I since have left this place in the photo as well. Eight years I have been trying to fill the void inside by calling this new place my home, to no prevail. I kept thinking it was because of the other house and I simply was grieving not being there anymore, but then I realized while reading the Word of God, He never intended for me to become comfortable there, or here or anywhere on this earth. This is not my home. By believing that earth is merely a temporary, passing journey rather than my permanent home it allows me to long for my heavenly home and it causes me to have a feeling of not belonging in this present world, because I don’t. Which also brings me to a heart of discontentment. It’s really hard to be content when your not where you belong. I’m glad to know that I am just passing through, because that is where my contentment is, knowing this is a temporary place. We can all accept something for awhile, especially when we know it is not going to last forever, change is coming. A kind of change that we only hoped for, longed for, like a forever home. This unhappiness that I find myself experiencing time after time is nothing more than a hunger for heaven. I will never find true satisfaction in the things of this world. Nothing on earth can satisfy. Yesterday I remember writing about me singing a song about “Come Jesus Come” why was that? Because He is the only one that satisfies. He is the One that promises me that forever home. John 14:1-4 speaks of just what I am saying. “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” This is my dwelling, my home, my permanent secure place, forever and ever. It has already been set aside for me the day I should arrive there. This, I can find true contentment in. Home at last.
As I bow down before the Lord this morning, I know there is nothing I can do without Him. For three days I have been in a dark place unable to hear from God. One reason is the enemy is very real. Anytime I give FULL SURRENDER to the Lord, the enemy comes in and does everything in his “limited” power to throw me off guard. It first started three days back at the end of my day with tending to an elderly neighbor that turned into a nine hour stay at the ER, then coming home 30 minutes before I would have to wake up and start my day all over. Sleep deprovision is an attack from the enemy, because when you are tired and wore out, he will then get you to thinking on things that are not true. Or if another obstacle arises in that time of tiredness you cannot handle it with a sound mind. I know that to be true because the Word of God says in (2 Ti. 1:7) that God gave me a sound mind, so confusion obviously is from the enemy. Due to the lack of rest I am now so exhausted and do not have the energy to do the things that were on my agenda, so I got behind. The enemy doesn’t allow for rest, but God says, “I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28-30) I wasn’t just tired in my physical body, now I was needing spiritual rest and only Jesus could provide that. Long story short, I went on and worked harder and longer to accomplish the things that needed to be done, with much frustration. I felt overwhelmed, ungrateful, couldn’t see the good in anything for about 24 hours. I don’t know about anyone else, but the enemy can really play havoc on my mind when I am exhausted. I was not feeling a spirit of obedience unto the Lord either, that was for sure. See if he can get you to a place where you are even frustrated with God that will take you down a whole other path. Being that obedience in the Lord is an area I have been trying very hard to do well along with my word for the year, “INTENTIONAL,” yeah he had me right where he wanted me, obedience wasn’t a thing for those three days, sad to admit. I am just thankful that I woke up this morning and by the grace of God, was able to see him and the tactics he was using to get me off kilter. I have my mind in the right place today; I’m trusting in God’s faithfulness: Remembering that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). I am approaching God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need. (Hebrews 4:16) and I am in need of Him. You see, I know I can’t do this without Him. I just spent 3 days in my own strength and where did that get me? So distraught that I only found myself singing, “Come Jesus Come” with all my heart. I wanted the pain and suffering to be gone, I wanted every wrong to be made right. We can find ourselves in a really pathetic state of mind when we let loose of the hand of Jesus and try to take the wheel ourself. Another sad part of that is, this was not the first time, but sadder yet, It won’t be the last either. Because I am human and I live in a fallen world and I am flawed and I have struggles, but the GOOD NEWS is; I have Jesus, to help pull me up from those dark days when I have been under attack. And that, is why we NEED Jesus.
“There is neither Jew not Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28)
This is my family in India. It was 2015 when I was given the opportunity to go on a missions trip out of the country. It was more than an opportunity, it was a divine appointment. One that will remain in my heart forever. From the time I rededicated my life to the Lord I saw different things I would do as a Christian and one of them was missions. There were three of my dear friends from church that were about to go to India and I felt the Holy Spirit saying …GO! I didn’t see any way possible for that to happen, after all it is very expensive, I’d be gone for 2 full weeks and at that very same time I had just signed on to host not one but two foreign exchange students that year as well as I would need to take time off work. All this would be left in my husbands hands and he to had a full time job. I had already resigned to the fact that my mission work was here, with the exchange students. I do want to mention that while the boy from China was here he did give his life to the Lord and our girl from Slovakia was already saved yet, she and him both were baptized while here with us. Glory to God! Through much prayer and discussion between my husband and I, he made the decision that I should go, this would be an anniversary gift from him to me. Of course it would require fund raising to pay for what we were not able to pay for, but if God calls you, He will provide what’s necessary, and He did. This process began in October of 2014, Jan. 2015 I was on an airplane headed half way around the world, to an unknown territory. Fear has always been a factor in my life, but this time “NO FEAR” pure excitement to know God had chose me to go be the hands and feet of Jesus to a people that I knew nothing about. Not only did I know nothing about, but we did not speak the same language. I’m not a quick study and learning Telugu which is the language in Southern India was out of the question. I was so thankful that my new family, Raju; the pastor and father of the village I stayed and his son Jonn spoke English …YAY! There were a couple others as well, but for the most part I had to rely on interpreters’ or the Holy Spirit. One thing I really want to share about this trip was how the Holy Spirit did play the interpreter between myself and Raju’s wife Lalita. A little bit about who she is; she is a wife, mother, and had just become a new grandmother when I arrived. She was the one that made sure the village was running on course, there was a school for children, a place for Christian’s to stay and be safe, due to being persecuted for their faith in Jesus if they were elsewhere. There was a church all within their small village/camp/home area. Lalita prayed! When I say she prayed I mean this woman talked to God about everything ALL the time. I fell in love with her spirit. Her and I could not speak to one another in words but, OH how we conversed in a way only the Holy Spirit could have made happen. We would sit outside the huts and somehow talk, to this day I can’t put it into words how that all happened, but it happened. We laughed, we prayed, we cried, we shared anything and everything we had or could. I’ll never forget the two days before I was about to head back to the states, I was speaking with my husband on the phone, he and the exchange students were ready for my return. When he asked me, “are you ready to come home?” I didn’t know how to answer him because the truth was, I wasn’t. I had fallen in love with my new family and I couldn’t imagine leaving my new sister in Christ, Lalita. The next day was even harder, I was counting the hours down to my departure. She and I were feeling all the same things and we did manage to learn to speak a few words in each others language over that two weeks. The morning came, we cried so hard. We were in every way now family. I moved off from Michigan to Texas right out of high school so I remember what good byes with my family were like when I would come for visits and then have to leave. It was just the same with Lalita and Jole her daughter in law and Jonn her son and Jaqc her new grandson and of course Raju. All the women there in the village were so kind and generous to me while I was there. These women even made me a Saree and some Punjabi’s I now could dress as them and take these articles of clothing home with me in remembrance of them, they were so kind and loving. I can’t say enough about how good I was treated, they protected me as we entered dangerous territories. I was very sick the entire time I was there and they made sure I was being nurtured back to health in everyway possible. Let me add, I never missed a meeting or clinic no matter how sick I was or how far away that village may have been from where we were or how long it may last. Sometimes those meeting would go on for hours and then we would have to travel back to our village when finished. I remember just a few days before I left there was a trip planned to go to the mountains near Nepal, it would require a car, train, jeep and a lot of walking to get us there, two days worth of traveling. This trip would be very different from the other days, it would definitely require me being physically able. Raju did not think I should go due to my health. It was Sunday the day before the trip to the mountains and we were at church taking communion. I remember taking communion unlike anytime in the past. I said to God with everything inside of me, “I BELIEVE this cup and this bread was and is for my healing” I stood in faith like never before, “I am HEALED” I will make this trip to the mountains. I went and laid down for a little nap after church and when morning came, I was well and ready for the trip. Praise be to God! God showed me so many things over that two weeks, I was beginning to know Him in ways I had never known. To tell of all that would require another blog. Todays emphasis is on family. Today, 11 years later, I am still very much a part of this family. Thanks to WhatsApp, video chats, cell phones, MoneyGram and computers. We are still able to be together, encouraging one another, supporting the family through financial means, prayer, tears and laughter. They give back as much if not more to me then I could possibly give to them. This is my Blood bought Family!
“While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (1 Cor. 4:18)
Sometimes I look at life with eyes of disbelief. How is it certain things in my life go the way they do? Or why do some people act the way they act? Heck, why do I act and think like I do? My precious Pearl girl here, she is always looking at things from a different perspective, she makes it seem so simple. I try to look at things from a different perspective because I/we naturally believe everyone sees things from my/our perspective, that is SO NOT true. I/ We tend to get caught up in the temporal things in life, when really, I/we should be more focused on what’s lasting, what is real, things we don’t have to question or at the least shouldn’t question. I am trying to make it my goal to be more like this scripture above. While looking at something or someone I actually consider certain factors such as what God might be up to. We don’t have a clue what God is doing, so to think one way and one way only doesn’t even make sense. There is always a BIGGER picture. My husband just gave me an illustration of Jonah. Jonah thought God should just wipe out the people of Nineveh, but that was not God’s perspective. So, you can see where perspective in this case would be getting a new perspective or end up in the belly of a whale for three days. Not only that, but Jonah’s perspective didn’t allow for the well-being of others. He could have caused a dire jeopardy for himself as well as others had he disobeyed God. Read the whole story in the book of Jonah. How about the story of Jesus and the devil where the devil says to Jesus, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” But Jesus answered him saying, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” That was after 40 days in the dessert, no food, no water. (Luke 4:3-4) See the difference in how the devil perceived hunger vs how Jesus perceived hunger? The enemy as well as ourselves will get us focused on temporal things, even false things. We Christians must continually discipline ourselves to focus on eternal realities, instead of the temporal realities of this earth. We all could use a new view on things, a sense of awareness and understanding to the things and people around us. Maybe we should go deeper in our intuition, that place where the Holy Spirit dwells, where real discernment lives. That is just my perception of things.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; (Ezekiel 36:26)
Forecast is rain for the next several days, after all it is almost spring. I’ve been raking for hours on end trying to prepare for spring. As I looked out my front door I realized the trash man hadn’t run yet and I really needed to rake up a couple bags of leaves right quick to put out with the other trash. As I was raking I began listening to God talk to me about being a good steward of what He has given me. He gave me the means to buy my home and He gave me the means to buy this fencing to house my dogs when they go outside. He also spoke to me about the importance of keeping up with it, not just the bare minimum, but to make it nice showing my gratitude for what He has blessed me with. This area that needed tending to is my dogs area for the most part, but I utilize it as well and so does our company. The ground is dirt, stone and little patches of grass that is just now coming up. Since I will be going into town today and already needed to go by the Co-op, I thought this would be just the right time to pick up some grass seed. First, I was going to need to get the rest of those leaves and tiny sticks picked up and rake the yard for aeration before the trash man got here. While out there raking I’m just listening to God giving me all the reasons why I need to do this and how to do it, etc. I’ve mentioned in other writings about my conversations with God being on-going all day long. Sometimes it’s as if no one else even exist because He is the one I sense in my presence all the time and it’s His voice I am always hearing. I heard Him saying things like: if you are grateful for what I have given you, you need to show it. If you want green lush grass your going to need to care for it, cultivate it, nurture it. This is what I do for you. I love you and I only want the best for you. Good things. I want you to flourish in life. I began thinking about that and all the ways He does just what He was saying to me. He truly is the Gardener of my Heart. He knows the deepest most sensitive issues of my heart. He knows how to cultivate and aerate it to cause it to breathe the breath of life again when it feels dormant. He knows what ingredients it will take to cause it to spring forth. He knows what elements it requires for me to flourish. I love how He loves me and cares for me. No one knows me like my Father and no one can do for me what He can do. He created me, He has ownership of me and He has designed me to be what I am. He has created me as a beautiful landscape.
So, teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Ps.90:12)
In this Psalm, number of days: This is more than just having mortality; it means valuing the time we do have by using it for eternal purposes. Our life is but a vapor. (James 4:14) “whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” The Bible consistently describes life on Earth as temporary, short, and fleeting, comparing it to a passing breath, shadow, or mist to emphasize the need for eternal perspective. (Psalm 39:4-5): “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting, my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” This life here is not our permanent home. We have a temporary assignment here and it would be wise to find out what that is. I have spent half my life living like tomorrow would never come, wasting the days away. When suddenly, I realized how many were gone. I now have more days behind me than in front of me. It makes for an urgency to do what I am here for. I need to use what time I have left wisely, serving God, and focusing on eternity. The little girl is now old and gray. My husband and I were just talking about this very thing today. What we would like for our last years here to look like. What would bring fulfillment to each of us and as a couple. Yes, our focus should be on serving God, witnessing to those who do not know where they are going to spend their eternity, but it also means enjoying life with your family and friends, playing, working and resting. Balance. We don’t neglect our duties or our hearts desires, whatever they may be. Spend some time ruminating on your days. What does that look like to you?
“…distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.” (Ro. 12:13)
This verse is a perfect example of the photo above. It symbolizes the word Hospitality, meaning, “love of strangers.” Of course, the primary reference is to housing travelers, though all forms of hospitality are included. We in street ministry dedicate ourselves to meeting the needs of others, in witnessing to them about the love of Christ. It may be bringing them food, offering prayer, trying to find housing for them, clothing or other material needs they may have. It may even be taking them to Dr. appointments or getting them necessary medications. But most of all its loving on them, letting them feel Jesus through our touch. This is not only the things I mentioned above but also, it is an act of stewardship. Hospitality should also be offered willingly and joyfully, not as a burden. It is a way to minister God’s grace to others. We all have gifts and here is a scripture for us to know what to do with that gift; “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of us should use whatever gift we have to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Pe. 4:9-10). God has even built meaningful relationships with some of these strangers and me. It truly amazes me how far a little hospitality will go. I have learned how to feel deeply within for some of the strangers I have encountered. Not only that, but gratitude for the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to know what He felt towards others. To truly love someone because He loves them, that is such an amazing kind of love. Words to live by; whenever God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. To welcome the stranger is to extend the hand of God.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt. 11:28-30)
“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.” (Ps. 62:1) “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Ps. 46:1) “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” (Jer. 31:25)
Feelings of exhaustion this morning. I’ve been having crazy dreams at night, leaving me feeling like I didn’t even sleep when I get up. My physical body is overly worn from doing things that are better left for a woman half my age. Yet I find encouragement in knowing when it seems I have nothing left to give physically or mentally, that God never tires and He gives me strength when I need it. These verses are a reminder of that. As hard as it is to write this morning, I am reminded of the word I am holding myself accountable to this year is, “Intentional.” I have come to know the importance of submission and obedience to my Father, God. I know He is the Author of my faith and His Holy Spirit dwells inside of me, He gives me words to speak when I do not know what to say. This morning is one of those mornings. Of course I give Him glory for every writing, because I know without Him, I could never write anything in the first place. My service in writing this Blog is more of a service to the Lord, showing my diligence, not being lazy or doing it half-heartedly. I guess that’s the point of my writing today, stay diligent, don’t be lazy in doing what God has called you too. Give Him your best, He surely is giving you, His best.
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” (Romans 12:11)
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold I do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert. (Is. 43:18-19)
Looking back is often associated with turning back to sin, as in the photo above; Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt (Gen. 19:26) There was a time when I would look back at my early years in life and say, “those were the good ‘ole days.” A lot of those memories were full of carnal behaviors and my sinful nature. I may have been a bit like Lot’s wife; reluctant to leave. Oh, how I thank you Father for mercy & grace. I can see now, those really weren’t the good ‘ole days. My flesh was being fed, but my spirit man wasn’t. God had way better days in store for me. In (Isaiah 43:18) the Lord commanded the people not to remember the past, it would be of no significance, He was establishing something new. Just as we should no longer look back at our regrets, it can be dangerous in keeping us from our ability to follow Christ. Condemnation is not of God, conviction is. If God is convicting you about something from your past it is likely you simply need to fall to your knees and repent, so that you can receive freedom from that. Don’t keep going back and revisiting that past sin, habit or hurt. Allow God to forgive you, heal you and move on. (Be sure to forgive yourself to.) Paul expresses the need to let go of the past failures and move forward toward the goals in Christ (Philippians 3:13-14) (paraphrased) not to dwell on the past because God is doing a new work in us. If we spend too much time looking back, we can become discouraged and find ourselves right back in that sin or carnal thinking, etc. (2 Cor. 5:17) says, [Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”] We as believers are being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Don’t go back digging up dirt, that old man is buried. I know at times I speak of things in my past that are not pretty. They are not pleasant for me to have to remember, but when I do it is only to give glory to God, because He saved me from those things, He set my feet upon the Rock and turned my life around. GLORY to Him! This is Productive Remembering: While negative dwelling is discouraged, the Bible advocates for looking back to remember God’s faithfulness and deeds, which encourages current trust (Psalm 136). Leave the past with God and walk forward in faith. Don’t Look Back!
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content. (Philippians 4:11)
Paul shares that he learned to be satisfied in any circumstance-hungry or plenty-through Christ’s strength. When I look back on my life, I can see all the times I was discontent and when I look deeply at those times it all comes back to, I was trying to do things in my strength. What can I do about the situation? How can I help this person? What am I to do about this broken relationship? How will I be able to come up with the means for this …? Never was I looking to my Source, God. Instead, I allowed fret and worry, mounds of anxiety and a lot of sleepless nights to take over my life. I am still a work in progress and will be until the return of my Lord and Savior, but I am also learning just like Paul did. I am learning to praise God in the valley. No matter the period of time of the intensity of my struggle, nor how dark, deep or difficult it is, I am thanking Him for He is there overseeing the things I cannot. He has a plan way higher than mine, a perfect plan. [Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So, we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear, what can man do to me?”] (Hebrews 12:5) This is trusting God’s presence! He is there with me! [And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distress, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.] (2 Cor.12:9-10) Again, we see we are weak and we need to look to the Lord who is our strength and He provides the power by His grace. Paul isn’t just boasting about his weaknesses, he said he actually takes pleasure, meaning “to think good,” this is an area I am intentionally working on as well as; To say that “I am well pleased” in them, I’m not quite there yet either. But, like Paul through this he was making it known to others the power of Christ and in the end like all things we want it to bring praise to the only One who deserves it, Jesus Christ. This lesson is not just for us. We are setting examples for others, what it is like to trust in God and to be content in the process. So go ahead and try it, Praise Him now, for what He will explain later.
Bread and Water 