Category: testimonial

A Place of Contentment

For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Phil. 4:11)

I can be content and find peace by accepting situations, material things I have or don’t have as well as current relationships I’m in exactly as they are. Because I am not relying on what or they can or will do for me. Even though while being content with whatever my present situation may be, I am still striving for improvement and personal growth. I am still working on improving in the area of managing my stress, reducing my anxieties, trying to be more positive and calmer in specific situations. I am a work in progress. When I spend some mindful time meditating on being content, what exactly does that require of me? One of the first things that comes to mind is; what am I grateful for right now, this very minute? I have to start in the right now, my current situation. Because it is usually my current situation that has me feeling discontent. I have to avoid comparing myself to others. That is a huge one for me. I always feel like I don’t measure up, I see all my flaws whether anyone else does or not. If I am content, then I will have a quiet sense of peace and satisfaction in knowing I am enough. There is a very spiritual part in this that goes deep, it’s an inner sense of completeness, not relying on my eternal being, but instead who I am on the inside. That is … who I am. That is who God created me to be. I heard many times in life what I was not and what I was incompetent at, people have even shared their value of me. I don’t say that for pity sake, I say that because we need to learn to hear what our creator has to say about us, not others. We cannot be content with what others say, only what our Creator says. The One that gave you life, made you in His image, doesn’t make mistakes. The One that says, I have a plan for you and a hope for your future and it is GOOD. I know you may be thinking, “well yesterday you just spoke of how you were not content in your home here on earth. That contentment to you was your home in heaven.” And that is correct. Because that is truth. God has already explained to me the reason for the discontentment. This is not my home, I’m just traveling through, it’s a journey on my way home. By knowing this I can now be content. Truth allows you a sense of contentment, while wondering and worrying will bring you discontentment. “I give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess. 5:18). Contentment is learned (Phil. 4:11b) “….for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” I am making it a goal to set my mind on the things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil.4:8) and FIND the presence of the God of peace (Phil.4:9) I am learning to be content.

Dark Days

“Apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

As I bow down before the Lord this morning, I know there is nothing I can do without Him. For three days I have been in a dark place unable to hear from God. One reason is the enemy is very real. Anytime I give FULL SURRENDER to the Lord, the enemy comes in and does everything in his “limited” power to throw me off guard. It first started three days back at the end of my day with tending to an elderly neighbor that turned into a nine hour stay at the ER, then coming home 30 minutes before I would have to wake up and start my day all over. Sleep deprovision is an attack from the enemy, because when you are tired and wore out, he will then get you to thinking on things that are not true. Or if another obstacle arises in that time of tiredness you cannot handle it with a sound mind. I know that to be true because the Word of God says in (2 Ti. 1:7) that God gave me a sound mind, so confusion obviously is from the enemy. Due to the lack of rest I am now so exhausted and do not have the energy to do the things that were on my agenda, so I got behind. The enemy doesn’t allow for rest, but God says, “I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28-30) I wasn’t just tired in my physical body, now I was needing spiritual rest and only Jesus could provide that. Long story short, I went on and worked harder and longer to accomplish the things that needed to be done, with much frustration. I felt overwhelmed, ungrateful, couldn’t see the good in anything for about 24 hours. I don’t know about anyone else, but the enemy can really play havoc on my mind when I am exhausted. I was not feeling a spirit of obedience unto the Lord either, that was for sure. See if he can get you to a place where you are even frustrated with God that will take you down a whole other path. Being that obedience in the Lord is an area I have been trying very hard to do well along with my word for the year, “INTENTIONAL,” yeah he had me right where he wanted me, obedience wasn’t a thing for those three days, sad to admit. I am just thankful that I woke up this morning and by the grace of God, was able to see him and the tactics he was using to get me off kilter. I have my mind in the right place today; I’m trusting in God’s faithfulness: Remembering that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). I am approaching God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need. (Hebrews 4:16) and I am in need of Him. You see, I know I can’t do this without Him. I just spent 3 days in my own strength and where did that get me? So distraught that I only found myself singing, “Come Jesus Come” with all my heart. I wanted the pain and suffering to be gone, I wanted every wrong to be made right. We can find ourselves in a really pathetic state of mind when we let loose of the hand of Jesus and try to take the wheel ourself. Another sad part of that is, this was not the first time, but sadder yet, It won’t be the last either. Because I am human and I live in a fallen world and I am flawed and I have struggles, but the GOOD NEWS is; I have Jesus, to help pull me up from those dark days when I have been under attack. And that, is why we NEED Jesus.

Blood Bought Family

“There is neither Jew not Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28)

This is my family in India. It was 2015 when I was given the opportunity to go on a missions trip out of the country. It was more than an opportunity, it was a divine appointment. One that will remain in my heart forever. From the time I rededicated my life to the Lord I saw different things I would do as a Christian and one of them was missions. There were three of my dear friends from church that were about to go to India and I felt the Holy Spirit saying …GO! I didn’t see any way possible for that to happen, after all it is very expensive, I’d be gone for 2 full weeks and at that very same time I had just signed on to host not one but two foreign exchange students that year as well as I would need to take time off work. All this would be left in my husbands hands and he to had a full time job. I had already resigned to the fact that my mission work was here, with the exchange students. I do want to mention that while the boy from China was here he did give his life to the Lord and our girl from Slovakia was already saved yet, she and him both were baptized while here with us. Glory to God! Through much prayer and discussion between my husband and I, he made the decision that I should go, this would be an anniversary gift from him to me. Of course it would require fund raising to pay for what we were not able to pay for, but if God calls you, He will provide what’s necessary, and He did. This process began in October of 2014, Jan. 2015 I was on an airplane headed half way around the world, to an unknown territory. Fear has always been a factor in my life, but this time “NO FEAR” pure excitement to know God had chose me to go be the hands and feet of Jesus to a people that I knew nothing about. Not only did I know nothing about, but we did not speak the same language. I’m not a quick study and learning Telugu which is the language in Southern India was out of the question. I was so thankful that my new family, Raju; the pastor and father of the village I stayed and his son Jonn spoke English …YAY! There were a couple others as well, but for the most part I had to rely on interpreters’ or the Holy Spirit. One thing I really want to share about this trip was how the Holy Spirit did play the interpreter between myself and Raju’s wife Lalita. A little bit about who she is; she is a wife, mother, and had just become a new grandmother when I arrived. She was the one that made sure the village was running on course, there was a school for children, a place for Christian’s to stay and be safe, due to being persecuted for their faith in Jesus if they were elsewhere. There was a church all within their small village/camp/home area. Lalita prayed! When I say she prayed I mean this woman talked to God about everything ALL the time. I fell in love with her spirit. Her and I could not speak to one another in words but, OH how we conversed in a way only the Holy Spirit could have made happen. We would sit outside the huts and somehow talk, to this day I can’t put it into words how that all happened, but it happened. We laughed, we prayed, we cried, we shared anything and everything we had or could. I’ll never forget the two days before I was about to head back to the states, I was speaking with my husband on the phone, he and the exchange students were ready for my return. When he asked me, “are you ready to come home?” I didn’t know how to answer him because the truth was, I wasn’t. I had fallen in love with my new family and I couldn’t imagine leaving my new sister in Christ, Lalita. The next day was even harder, I was counting the hours down to my departure. She and I were feeling all the same things and we did manage to learn to speak a few words in each others language over that two weeks. The morning came, we cried so hard. We were in every way now family. I moved off from Michigan to Texas right out of high school so I remember what good byes with my family were like when I would come for visits and then have to leave. It was just the same with Lalita and Jole her daughter in law and Jonn her son and Jaqc her new grandson and of course Raju. All the women there in the village were so kind and generous to me while I was there. These women even made me a Saree and some Punjabi’s I now could dress as them and take these articles of clothing home with me in remembrance of them, they were so kind and loving. I can’t say enough about how good I was treated, they protected me as we entered dangerous territories. I was very sick the entire time I was there and they made sure I was being nurtured back to health in everyway possible. Let me add, I never missed a meeting or clinic no matter how sick I was or how far away that village may have been from where we were or how long it may last. Sometimes those meeting would go on for hours and then we would have to travel back to our village when finished. I remember just a few days before I left there was a trip planned to go to the mountains near Nepal, it would require a car, train, jeep and a lot of walking to get us there, two days worth of traveling. This trip would be very different from the other days, it would definitely require me being physically able. Raju did not think I should go due to my health. It was Sunday the day before the trip to the mountains and we were at church taking communion. I remember taking communion unlike anytime in the past. I said to God with everything inside of me, “I BELIEVE this cup and this bread was and is for my healing” I stood in faith like never before, “I am HEALED” I will make this trip to the mountains. I went and laid down for a little nap after church and when morning came, I was well and ready for the trip. Praise be to God! God showed me so many things over that two weeks, I was beginning to know Him in ways I had never known. To tell of all that would require another blog. Todays emphasis is on family. Today, 11 years later, I am still very much a part of this family. Thanks to WhatsApp, video chats, cell phones, MoneyGram and computers. We are still able to be together, encouraging one another, supporting the family through financial means, prayer, tears and laughter. They give back as much if not more to me then I could possibly give to them. This is my Blood bought Family!

Love of Strangers

“…distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.” (Ro. 12:13)

This verse is a perfect example of the photo above. It symbolizes the word Hospitality, meaning, “love of strangers.” Of course, the primary reference is to housing travelers, though all forms of hospitality are included. We in street ministry dedicate ourselves to meeting the needs of others, in witnessing to them about the love of Christ. It may be bringing them food, offering prayer, trying to find housing for them, clothing or other material needs they may have. It may even be taking them to Dr. appointments or getting them necessary medications. But most of all its loving on them, letting them feel Jesus through our touch. This is not only the things I mentioned above but also, it is an act of stewardship. Hospitality should also be offered willingly and joyfully, not as a burden. It is a way to minister God’s grace to others. We all have gifts and here is a scripture for us to know what to do with that gift; “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of us should use whatever gift we have to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Pe. 4:9-10). God has even built meaningful relationships with some of these strangers and me. It truly amazes me how far a little hospitality will go. I have learned how to feel deeply within for some of the strangers I have encountered. Not only that, but gratitude for the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to know what He felt towards others. To truly love someone because He loves them, that is such an amazing kind of love. Words to live by; whenever God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. To welcome the stranger is to extend the hand of God.

Tired

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt. 11:28-30)

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.” (Ps. 62:1) “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Ps. 46:1) “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” (Jer. 31:25)

Feelings of exhaustion this morning. I’ve been having crazy dreams at night, leaving me feeling like I didn’t even sleep when I get up. My physical body is overly worn from doing things that are better left for a woman half my age. Yet I find encouragement in knowing when it seems I have nothing left to give physically or mentally, that God never tires and He gives me strength when I need it. These verses are a reminder of that. As hard as it is to write this morning, I am reminded of the word I am holding myself accountable to this year is, “Intentional.” I have come to know the importance of submission and obedience to my Father, God. I know He is the Author of my faith and His Holy Spirit dwells inside of me, He gives me words to speak when I do not know what to say. This morning is one of those mornings. Of course I give Him glory for every writing, because I know without Him, I could never write anything in the first place. My service in writing this Blog is more of a service to the Lord, showing my diligence, not being lazy or doing it half-heartedly. I guess that’s the point of my writing today, stay diligent, don’t be lazy in doing what God has called you too. Give Him your best, He surely is giving you, His best.

“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” (Romans 12:11)

Don’t Look Back

Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold I do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert. (Is. 43:18-19)

Looking back is often associated with turning back to sin, as in the photo above; Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt (Gen. 19:26) There was a time when I would look back at my early years in life and say, “those were the good ‘ole days.” A lot of those memories were full of carnal behaviors and my sinful nature. I may have been a bit like Lot’s wife; reluctant to leave. Oh, how I thank you Father for mercy & grace. I can see now, those really weren’t the good ‘ole days. My flesh was being fed, but my spirit man wasn’t. God had way better days in store for me. In (Isaiah 43:18) the Lord commanded the people not to remember the past, it would be of no significance, He was establishing something new. Just as we should no longer look back at our regrets, it can be dangerous in keeping us from our ability to follow Christ. Condemnation is not of God, conviction is. If God is convicting you about something from your past it is likely you simply need to fall to your knees and repent, so that you can receive freedom from that. Don’t keep going back and revisiting that past sin, habit or hurt. Allow God to forgive you, heal you and move on. (Be sure to forgive yourself to.) Paul expresses the need to let go of the past failures and move forward toward the goals in Christ (Philippians 3:13-14) (paraphrased) not to dwell on the past because God is doing a new work in us. If we spend too much time looking back, we can become discouraged and find ourselves right back in that sin or carnal thinking, etc. (2 Cor. 5:17) says, [Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”] We as believers are being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Don’t go back digging up dirt, that old man is buried. I know at times I speak of things in my past that are not pretty. They are not pleasant for me to have to remember, but when I do it is only to give glory to God, because He saved me from those things, He set my feet upon the Rock and turned my life around. GLORY to Him! This is Productive Remembering: While negative dwelling is discouraged, the Bible advocates for looking back to remember God’s faithfulness and deeds, which encourages current trust (Psalm 136). Leave the past with God and walk forward in faith. Don’t Look Back!

What State Are You In?

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

Paul shares that he learned to be satisfied in any circumstance-hungry or plenty-through Christ’s strength. When I look back on my life, I can see all the times I was discontent and when I look deeply at those times it all comes back to, I was trying to do things in my strength. What can I do about the situation? How can I help this person? What am I to do about this broken relationship? How will I be able to come up with the means for this …? Never was I looking to my Source, God. Instead, I allowed fret and worry, mounds of anxiety and a lot of sleepless nights to take over my life. I am still a work in progress and will be until the return of my Lord and Savior, but I am also learning just like Paul did. I am learning to praise God in the valley. No matter the period of time of the intensity of my struggle, nor how dark, deep or difficult it is, I am thanking Him for He is there overseeing the things I cannot. He has a plan way higher than mine, a perfect plan. [Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So, we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear, what can man do to me?”] (Hebrews 12:5) This is trusting God’s presence! He is there with me! [And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distress, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.] (2 Cor.12:9-10) Again, we see we are weak and we need to look to the Lord who is our strength and He provides the power by His grace. Paul isn’t just boasting about his weaknesses, he said he actually takes pleasure, meaning “to think good,” this is an area I am intentionally working on as well as; To say that “I am well pleased” in them, I’m not quite there yet either. But, like Paul through this he was making it known to others the power of Christ and in the end like all things we want it to bring praise to the only One who deserves it, Jesus Christ. This lesson is not just for us. We are setting examples for others, what it is like to trust in God and to be content in the process. So go ahead and try it, Praise Him now, for what He will explain later.

His Blood Runs Through My Veins

4) just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5) having predestined us to adoption as sons, by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6) to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. (Eph. 1:4-6)

I am no longer defined by my own humanity, but by the life, holiness, and victory of Jesus Christ. I have the adoption of divine nature, transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. The Greek word for this kind of love is: agape, which is by choice or one’s will, not just a sentimental feeling. Predestined us: this is not fate, but rather a loving choice on God’s part. The Beloved: Jesus Christ. Jesus is not simply one among others who God loves, He is the Beloved Son. And through Him we have redemption; I have been bought back into relationship with the Father through the blood of Jesus Christ. I am a child of God! Glory! Halleluiah! Praise be to the King of Kings! Amen. This spiritual adoption brings righteousness, inheritance, and a new relationship with God as Father. I love how God already chose to adopt me before the foundation of the world, out of love. I always dreamed of my life being a love story, well here it is. And for His pleasure; He wants to spend time with me, He doesn’t just love me, He finds me valuable enough to want to hang out with me. Okay y’all, I’m about to preach myself happy about now. This IS AMAZING LOVE! I now get to call God “Abba Father” through the Holy Spirit. I am ever so grateful to be set free from the debt of my old sinful nature most of all, and you can be to. Thank You Jesus! Come Be a Part of the Family, you are WELCOME here.

Living On A Prayer, Just Not Mine

The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (James 5:16b)

This is me when I was a baby. I don’t know who was the first to begin praying for me, whether before I was born, after or even now I don’t know everyone that prays for me. What I do know is there has always been someone praying for me. I also know my life would have turned out very differently had they not been. There is real purpose in prayer, if that were not true why would God tell us to pray for each other? Here are a few reasons why we pray for others: Protection, strength when they are weak, to know God’s will and to grow in wisdom, for boldness to share the Gospel. I just received a message today from a friend, asking me to pray just that for her. She wanted me to pray for opportunities as well as boldness & clarity as she entered the streets to spread the Gospel, we call it “Street-ministry.” The Word says in, (Colossians 4:3-4) “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison-that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.” That scripture makes it clear to me, I had a responsibility to pray the prayer of agreement in that area for her. We should also pray for missionaries and church leaders, our government official’s, our President, all who have been given charge over us. The Bible calls this kind of prayer intercession -a responsibility, a command, and an act of love. I can say now, I was loved from the beginning of time, my time that is. First, God loved me enough that He thought it was necessary for me to be born. Side note to self, “I have purpose.” Then He gave charge or the responsibility of those who loved me to intercede on my behalf. My life was not a fairy tale by no means. I was not a planned pregnancy and to hear my mother tell me how I was conceived was very sad. I would have liked to believe my life began as a love story, but not so. I have heard both sides of the story from both my parents and neither side is one anyone would want. There were attacks on my life right from the start, beginning with a tumor that they were having trouble diagnosing, praise be to God for discernment on the doctors part that determined what it was and surgery was a win for me. I lived through some really tough times as a child of an extremely young mother and a stepfather that was rather hateful towards me most of my childhood, which I will not go into details, but I will say, I ended up in foster care for a period of time. My biofather was sexually abusive to me so that caused a whole other set of issues for me then, as well as later in life. By 15, I was trying to end my life. Obviously someone was praying, someone or someones had been praying all along. So, you see even though people are praying for you, doesn’t mean you won’t go through things in life. What it does mean, God is hearing those petitioning Him on your behalf and He is making a way for you to get through it. This is important, I believe, in my sharing of my childhood; when I was 12 I received Jesus into my heart, obviously I did not know Him then like I do now, but He was with me everyday from that day forward. I have heard, 12 is the age of accountability, so it looks like my first right choice in life had been made. Meanwhile this I do know, my step-grandfather was the first person to my knowing that was praying for me, that is considered an act of love; and a responsibility, being he was a Minister of a Church, which by the way I was spending the week with him and my grandmother for Vacation Bible School when I gave my life to Jesus. Quick summary of the next 20 years; after attempted suicide, I got hooked on drugs and alcohol. I’d be here all day if I went into all the places in life that took me, but I will share more of that at a later time. “People are praying!” Fast forward, I’m now 32 and about to rededicate my life to the Lord. See He never left me, not one minute in those 20 years, He was closer than a brother, I just wasn’t aware of that, though I’m about to be. Next, I’m Thirty-three, I’m down on my knees surrendering ALL not knowing how I made it this far, when I am reminded by an aunt, all the days before this, that my family had been praying for me. Today I am 63 years old and I pray for everyone. I have come to know the importance of prayer in a persons life first hand. Prayer is a powerful tool and like I said before, an act of love. If you love someone pray for them, If someone you love hurt you, pray for them, there is power in that prayer. You will open the door for restoration, deliverance, reconciliation, so many other things through fervent/heartfelt prayer. Food for thought: Imitate Christ, who is continually interceding for us who believe, and carry each other’s burdens through prayer.

Am I, My Enemy?

No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17)

If you are allowing your tongue to speak words against yourself, you are becoming your own opposition. You are allowing possible attacks to arise that could destroy you or at the bare minimum keep you from prospering in what you are desiring. God is telling us in the written Word in Isaiah that He condemns the accusers, even as He has equipped His servant/us/all saints, Jews and gentiles, to do so. If God has given us the power in our tongue to come against opposition, challenges, or attacks, ultimately, we are destroying ourselves if we are speaking anything different from His Word. Further in that verse it’s telling us “…and every tongue which rises against you in judgement You shall condemn,” that’s indicating false accusations. You are speaking false things over yourself, STOP IT! Take those words out of your mouth right now and start speaking truth over your situation. Don’t let the father of lies deceive you into believing a lie over what the Lord is trying to do in your life or whatever it is your believing for. Just like writing this Blog. The minute my husband brought this up to me, that I should write again and do it in a Blog, I immediately said, “Oh, I can’t do that, I don’t have the background and training for that.” That’s when I had to stop myself and remember who was actually calling me to this and if He was calling me to it, He would also equip me for it (Is. 58:11) Where He guides, He provides! It is so easy to catch yourself believing for something or petitioning the Lord for something and at the same time speaking words of defeat. Wisdom flows from a thoughtful heart. Think about what you are saying before you say it. Use constructive words. Your words can be a tree of life or destructive. They can heal you or they can harm you. Choose what you speak! Remember, not every thought needs to be expressed; once said, words cannot be taken back.