Category: confidence

Smoking

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light; ( 1 Peter 2:9)

HE CHOSE US and WE MATTER!

Yesterday was the second annual fundraiser for my dear friends Non-Profit organization, which I have had the opportunity to help host both years. I also, am given the opportunity to sit in on these amazing guest speakers Break-Outs throughout the day. This conference is an emotional health conference for professionals. To help equip them to better serve their employees, co-workers, patients whatever field of work that might be. And more importantly learning how to better care for themselves so that they can be the best version of themselves doing what they do without the feeling of they are not enough, they do not matter or all to often …burnout. I tell you that to also say, I’m NOT a professional of any kind, but I MATTER. And because I matter and so do all the volunteers that come to help out in the conference we are ALL given the opportunity to sit in on any topic we feel might help us to be the best version of ourself. This picture of the chimney was from one of the Guest Speakers and I am sure she would not mind if I shared her name and or even a little bit about her. Lynette Thrower; her topic was on “The Matters of Mattering” which is also the name of her book she authored. “The Matters of Mattering: I, You, We Matter,” regarding belonging, validation, and emotional authenticity. Her teaching challenges us to reflect on how we assign our value, especially in relation to our performance, productivity, and personal worth. If you look her up on Instagram you can see how she defines herself; Lover of YHWH. Prayer warrior. Peaceful poet. She realizes her life matters and so does ours. The chimney was an illustration from a Highlight magazine back in the day. I didn’t get a picture of the first clip, but it was a large chimney telling the small chimney that he was to small to smoke. This was suppose to be a riddle in the magazine, but there was so much more to be taken from that photo than a riddle. Here was this happy little chimney doing what he knew he was suppose to do and then being told, your to little to smoke. The little chimney became afraid of his purpose so then refuses to smoke. And as you may already know, a chimney must smoke in order to keep the house from backing up with smoke, and from the air becoming toxic and people getting harmed. So there is purpose in a smoking chimney. If the chimney/we allow what others say to us we can find ourself withdrawing from our purpose, preoccupied with the criticism, and then our vision of ourself becomes distorted. We begin to feel insignificant, invisible or unimportant to others. We are then no longer doing what God created us for or our God-given gift or talent. When that kind of fear takes hold of us, we begin to distort how we see ourselves and our place in this world. We begin having false beliefs about the role we were designed to fulfill. I recently felt all of that in my blog writing. I called it writers remorse when telling my husband about it. As Lynette says, “Our lives are meant to be a beautiful symphony of purpose and belonging, but fear introduces a dissonance that can overwhelm our sense of mattering.” I’m not going to go into the complete teaching on this, but I wanted to share from the beginning because we do have purpose and we do matter and that “WE” is EVERYBODY. God says we are: Chosen (John 15:16), Loved (Jeremiah 31:3), Forgiven (1 John 1:9), Precious (Is. 43:4), Strong (Is. 40:31), Unique (Ps. 39:13), Important (1 Peter 2:9), Protected (Ps. 121:3), Enough (2 Cor. 12:9). So we are able to say, I am____________, you fill in the blank. Be that little chimney and SMOKE with your calling, gift or talent.

A Place of Contentment

For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Phil. 4:11)

I can be content and find peace by accepting situations, material things I have or don’t have as well as current relationships I’m in exactly as they are. Because I am not relying on what or they can or will do for me. Even though while being content with whatever my present situation may be, I am still striving for improvement and personal growth. I am still working on improving in the area of managing my stress, reducing my anxieties, trying to be more positive and calmer in specific situations. I am a work in progress. When I spend some mindful time meditating on being content, what exactly does that require of me? One of the first things that comes to mind is; what am I grateful for right now, this very minute? I have to start in the right now, my current situation. Because it is usually my current situation that has me feeling discontent. I have to avoid comparing myself to others. That is a huge one for me. I always feel like I don’t measure up, I see all my flaws whether anyone else does or not. If I am content, then I will have a quiet sense of peace and satisfaction in knowing I am enough. There is a very spiritual part in this that goes deep, it’s an inner sense of completeness, not relying on my eternal being, but instead who I am on the inside. That is … who I am. That is who God created me to be. I heard many times in life what I was not and what I was incompetent at, people have even shared their value of me. I don’t say that for pity sake, I say that because we need to learn to hear what our creator has to say about us, not others. We cannot be content with what others say, only what our Creator says. The One that gave you life, made you in His image, doesn’t make mistakes. The One that says, I have a plan for you and a hope for your future and it is GOOD. I know you may be thinking, “well yesterday you just spoke of how you were not content in your home here on earth. That contentment to you was your home in heaven.” And that is correct. Because that is truth. God has already explained to me the reason for the discontentment. This is not my home, I’m just traveling through, it’s a journey on my way home. By knowing this I can now be content. Truth allows you a sense of contentment, while wondering and worrying will bring you discontentment. “I give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess. 5:18). Contentment is learned (Phil. 4:11b) “….for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” I am making it a goal to set my mind on the things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil.4:8) and FIND the presence of the God of peace (Phil.4:9) I am learning to be content.

What State Are You In?

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

Paul shares that he learned to be satisfied in any circumstance-hungry or plenty-through Christ’s strength. When I look back on my life, I can see all the times I was discontent and when I look deeply at those times it all comes back to, I was trying to do things in my strength. What can I do about the situation? How can I help this person? What am I to do about this broken relationship? How will I be able to come up with the means for this …? Never was I looking to my Source, God. Instead, I allowed fret and worry, mounds of anxiety and a lot of sleepless nights to take over my life. I am still a work in progress and will be until the return of my Lord and Savior, but I am also learning just like Paul did. I am learning to praise God in the valley. No matter the period of time of the intensity of my struggle, nor how dark, deep or difficult it is, I am thanking Him for He is there overseeing the things I cannot. He has a plan way higher than mine, a perfect plan. [Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So, we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear, what can man do to me?”] (Hebrews 12:5) This is trusting God’s presence! He is there with me! [And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distress, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.] (2 Cor.12:9-10) Again, we see we are weak and we need to look to the Lord who is our strength and He provides the power by His grace. Paul isn’t just boasting about his weaknesses, he said he actually takes pleasure, meaning “to think good,” this is an area I am intentionally working on as well as; To say that “I am well pleased” in them, I’m not quite there yet either. But, like Paul through this he was making it known to others the power of Christ and in the end like all things we want it to bring praise to the only One who deserves it, Jesus Christ. This lesson is not just for us. We are setting examples for others, what it is like to trust in God and to be content in the process. So go ahead and try it, Praise Him now, for what He will explain later.

Mount Up

But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

To “wait” on God entails confident expectation and active hope in the Lord. Mount up …run …walk, depicts the spiritual transformation that faith brings to a person. The Lord gives power to those who trust in Him. Eagles: the eagle depicts the strength that comes from the Lord. The strength of people who are nourished by God is compared to the strength of the eagle. Sometimes we find ourselves weary, running on empty, no fight left in us, flat wore out. Maybe we have been trying to figure things out in our own mind/strength, to no prevail, feeling hopeless and exhausted. I recently was put into a battle that could have been all of those things. I have to say, the Holy Spirit has been such a great friend, that I have been able to lean into God, trusting just the right Words to stand on in faith. Even though I do not know the outcome of this particular situation that I’m currently in, that has no bearing on what I’m doing, I’m MOUNTING UP! It makes me think of the scripture in (Hosea 4:6) (My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.) Y’all, seriously learn your Bible, you need it more than you realize. It’s the infallible Word of Good. (2 Timothy 3:16-17) says, (All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.) This scripture verse in (Isaiah 40:31) promises if we will wait on the Lord we will be renewed in our strength and able to soar above the challenges we are being faced with. Divine empowerment! The Word requires us not to lean on our own strength, instead we are relying on God. That means we are trusting and hoping in Him. So, Mount Up! and SOAR.

Come A Little Closer

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8)

When I have difficulty seeing something, I will often use my magnifying glass to get a closer look. Today I am getting a closer look at God and relationship with Him. In this scripture we have a biblical promise highlighting a reciprocal relationship: as believers move toward God through prayer, repentance, and obedience, He moves toward them. It is a two-way relationship. Have you ever tried being in a relationship with just yourself? What do you have to offer yourself? What can you receive from yourself? At any point in this one way relationship is there anything tangible? What are you building by yourself? When we align our lives with God, we can be assured of His presence, strength, and grace, which helps build character and faith. When we humble ourself before the Lord, He promises to lift us up. How good are you at lifting yourself up? I know I cannot bring about joy to myself, I cannot do anything in my own strength, it requires an act of God, literally, for things to come out right in my life. If you want to get closer to God it is going to require cultivating a deeper, more intentional relationship through daily spiritual disciplines. Some things you can put into practice are; studying scripture, persistent prayer and worship. Surrender is a Big one, give control of your life back to God, especially during the difficult times. Learn to understand the nature of God and the life of Jesus, His teachings and the miracles He did. Approach God with reverence, respect the Divine Holiness, recognizing Him as both a loving parent and a sovereign authority. God is always close, constant and unchanging, how close are you in relationship with yourself? I know at times I have even lied to myself. God is not man, therefore He cannot lie. How surefooted are you? do you ever change? Can you really count on yourself? Can you remove all fear from yourself? God can and will. Why do we pretend to have it all together and think we can do this life on our own? Truth is, we will never succeed at it without God’s help. According to the Bible, God created humans in His image to have intimate fellowship with Him. This relational purpose means humanity was designed to walk with God and with others, rather than to exist in isolation. So, draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you.

His Blood Runs Through My Veins

4) just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5) having predestined us to adoption as sons, by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6) to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. (Eph. 1:4-6)

I am no longer defined by my own humanity, but by the life, holiness, and victory of Jesus Christ. I have the adoption of divine nature, transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. The Greek word for this kind of love is: agape, which is by choice or one’s will, not just a sentimental feeling. Predestined us: this is not fate, but rather a loving choice on God’s part. The Beloved: Jesus Christ. Jesus is not simply one among others who God loves, He is the Beloved Son. And through Him we have redemption; I have been bought back into relationship with the Father through the blood of Jesus Christ. I am a child of God! Glory! Halleluiah! Praise be to the King of Kings! Amen. This spiritual adoption brings righteousness, inheritance, and a new relationship with God as Father. I love how God already chose to adopt me before the foundation of the world, out of love. I always dreamed of my life being a love story, well here it is. And for His pleasure; He wants to spend time with me, He doesn’t just love me, He finds me valuable enough to want to hang out with me. Okay y’all, I’m about to preach myself happy about now. This IS AMAZING LOVE! I now get to call God “Abba Father” through the Holy Spirit. I am ever so grateful to be set free from the debt of my old sinful nature most of all, and you can be to. Thank You Jesus! Come Be a Part of the Family, you are WELCOME here.

Living On A Prayer, Just Not Mine

The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (James 5:16b)

This is me when I was a baby. I don’t know who was the first to begin praying for me, whether before I was born, after or even now I don’t know everyone that prays for me. What I do know is there has always been someone praying for me. I also know my life would have turned out very differently had they not been. There is real purpose in prayer, if that were not true why would God tell us to pray for each other? Here are a few reasons why we pray for others: Protection, strength when they are weak, to know God’s will and to grow in wisdom, for boldness to share the Gospel. I just received a message today from a friend, asking me to pray just that for her. She wanted me to pray for opportunities as well as boldness & clarity as she entered the streets to spread the Gospel, we call it “Street-ministry.” The Word says in, (Colossians 4:3-4) “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison-that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.” That scripture makes it clear to me, I had a responsibility to pray the prayer of agreement in that area for her. We should also pray for missionaries and church leaders, our government official’s, our President, all who have been given charge over us. The Bible calls this kind of prayer intercession -a responsibility, a command, and an act of love. I can say now, I was loved from the beginning of time, my time that is. First, God loved me enough that He thought it was necessary for me to be born. Side note to self, “I have purpose.” Then He gave charge or the responsibility of those who loved me to intercede on my behalf. My life was not a fairy tale by no means. I was not a planned pregnancy and to hear my mother tell me how I was conceived was very sad. I would have liked to believe my life began as a love story, but not so. I have heard both sides of the story from both my parents and neither side is one anyone would want. There were attacks on my life right from the start, beginning with a tumor that they were having trouble diagnosing, praise be to God for discernment on the doctors part that determined what it was and surgery was a win for me. I lived through some really tough times as a child of an extremely young mother and a stepfather that was rather hateful towards me most of my childhood, which I will not go into details, but I will say, I ended up in foster care for a period of time. My biofather was sexually abusive to me so that caused a whole other set of issues for me then, as well as later in life. By 15, I was trying to end my life. Obviously someone was praying, someone or someones had been praying all along. So, you see even though people are praying for you, doesn’t mean you won’t go through things in life. What it does mean, God is hearing those petitioning Him on your behalf and He is making a way for you to get through it. This is important, I believe, in my sharing of my childhood; when I was 12 I received Jesus into my heart, obviously I did not know Him then like I do now, but He was with me everyday from that day forward. I have heard, 12 is the age of accountability, so it looks like my first right choice in life had been made. Meanwhile this I do know, my step-grandfather was the first person to my knowing that was praying for me, that is considered an act of love; and a responsibility, being he was a Minister of a Church, which by the way I was spending the week with him and my grandmother for Vacation Bible School when I gave my life to Jesus. Quick summary of the next 20 years; after attempted suicide, I got hooked on drugs and alcohol. I’d be here all day if I went into all the places in life that took me, but I will share more of that at a later time. “People are praying!” Fast forward, I’m now 32 and about to rededicate my life to the Lord. See He never left me, not one minute in those 20 years, He was closer than a brother, I just wasn’t aware of that, though I’m about to be. Next, I’m Thirty-three, I’m down on my knees surrendering ALL not knowing how I made it this far, when I am reminded by an aunt, all the days before this, that my family had been praying for me. Today I am 63 years old and I pray for everyone. I have come to know the importance of prayer in a persons life first hand. Prayer is a powerful tool and like I said before, an act of love. If you love someone pray for them, If someone you love hurt you, pray for them, there is power in that prayer. You will open the door for restoration, deliverance, reconciliation, so many other things through fervent/heartfelt prayer. Food for thought: Imitate Christ, who is continually interceding for us who believe, and carry each other’s burdens through prayer.

What’s Around the Corner?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6)

So many times in my life I’ve wondered this question. I sense the Lord directing me somewhere, but not sure where I’m headed. What will this place look like, who will be there? Am I even sure this is a place I should be going. What is around that corner? Yet, I am always encouraged by His Word, “Trust.” He is going to guide me. I don’t have to understand and I certainly don’t need to try to rely on my understanding of things, because I can really think some crazy kinda ways at times, just say’n. Because I know Him so well it’s like going to a chair to sit down at the table and I don’t even think about it, I just pull the chair out and sit down. I never ever thought for one minute that that chair was not going to hold or support me once I sat in it. That’s the kind of trust I have in my Father God. I am relying on His character; who He is, His faithfulness and guidance. Sometimes I can get off course a bit, well maybe a lot, but when that happens if I will seek Him; He says, “I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity.” (Jer. 29:14) See, we don’t even have to worry if we have made a wrong turn along the way, He is always with us, watching and making a way for us to get to our final destination. (Joshua 1:9) says, “Do not be afraid or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” I just want to encourage you today, if you sense God calling you somewhere and fear is keeping you from making that corner, my word for you would be, TRUST!

It Was the Night Before

“If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well.” (Matt. 9:21)

My story of the over-flowing of the Holy Spirit actually started the night before. Much like the woman in the Bible who we do not know her name, what we do know is she had a twelve-year affliction. She was in a dire situation; this affliction caused her physical pain as well as emotional isolation. She spent all the money she had with Dr’s, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. (Mark 5:26). Much like this woman I found myself afflicted in deep depression. I had just gone through the death of a child/adult, non the less a child to us. He had suffered two years with AML and when reaching his final days here on earth he wanted to do hospice at home with us. Which he had been living with us a good portion of the two years already, naturally we wanted the same. Before we knew he was not going to be able to get the bone marrow transplant, which we were believing and standing in faith for complete healing and he did finally receive his complete, total healing from the top of his head to the soles of his feet, just not here on earth. That is a whole other story, maybe one day I will share that because God did some preparation in him, us, his siblings and others for his eternal homecoming. Glory be to God for that. At the same time this was going on, a few months before he got really sick, I decided to breed my Doodle for the very first time and she had 15 puppies. I had to deliver the first 3 all by myself, this turned into a very LONG night, but it gets even worse. My husband was driving a coach bus for a company that required him to be out of town a LOT, this was one of those times. Our son was very sick just before the birth of the puppies and he needed to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion and that required him to stay in the hospital for a few days. When he came back home, he tried to help me out with the puppies, but he didn’t have the strength and I was not eating, or sleeping, I had lost 15 pounds in two weeks. Six weeks after much hard and I mean hard work, keeping 15 puppies alive and healthy, by myself, it was time to take the puppies to the veterinarian for their first series of shots, where they contracted parvo. I immediately went back to my vet, got the necessary meds, hydration bags, needles, etc. to come back home and build a quarantine area for sick, still nursing puppies. Thank God my husband was home for that week, or I think I might just be up there in Paradise with our son. We lost the first sick puppy, then we lost 2 more here at home, but praise God, He gave us the strength and everything else we needed to save these little guys & gals. Now my husband is back on the road again, and our son takes a turn for the worse. He immediately meets me at the hospital and that’s when we find out it’s time for him to come home on hospice. Everything happened so fast, I was literally living and moving on adrenaline only. The pain had gotten to be too much the last 24 hours for him, so we went to the hospital for those last hours. Then we had a funeral service to prepare for. Again, I am leaving so much out because I am trying to stay focused on the message I am trying to deliver here today. Honestly, I could write a series of books if given the time for most of these blogs. Now, back to the night before I received the mighty encounter with the Holy Spirit. Like the woman in the Bible, she spent so many years full of dead ends, helpless and hopeless, but she heard the reports about Jesus and that was all it took for this disheartened woman to move forward, there was this tiny seed of hope in her heart, that gave her the courage to take a BIG risk. That’s when she reached out to touch His cloak, with faith believing for her healing. She had to be bold as well, because she was out in the crowd with all the people and Jesus, she wasn’t even supposed to leave her home. When she made her way to Jesus, as soon as she touched the edge of His garment the bleeding, her affliction had stopped (Luke 8:44). Mark says, “Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering” (Mark 5:29) But her story is not over. Later, when Jesus wants to know who touched Him, Jesus didn’t humiliate her in front of the crowd, instead you hear Him calling her “Daughter” and tells her, “Your faith has made you well.” All because she dared to reach out to Him for help when every earthly avenue had ended in nothing but loss and despair. Back again to the night before. I was all alone again, after burying puppies, saying my goodbyes to our son, and watching my husband leave again for another lengthy road trip. It was around six in the evening, and I decided to take what little energy I had and get in the shower. I cried out to Jesus with everything I had inside of me. I needed a miracle, I needed change in my life, I needed strength, I needed someone to love and care for me, right now, this very moment or take me out of here, yes that is exactly what I said to Him. I think I was crying harder than the water was coming out of the shower head and of course my voice was as load as a train coming down the track. I needed Jesus to hear me! Then, suddenly, I heard Him. He was comforting me, telling me He had me and everything was going to be alright. He instructed me to go to this Woman’s conference the next morning. I really did not want to go there; I didn’t feel I fit in with the women there and I was already feeling all sorts of negatives inside me. Fear had been playing a huge role in my life at that time as well. Satan loves to use fear as one of his tactics to keep us from our destination. Well, let me tell you, that next morning I got up early, mustered up all the courage I could and I went! I didn’t just go, I sat on the first row, end seat, and when the worship music began, I jumped up and went to that alter with all the bravery and boldness I had in me. That’s where I released EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHNG. Fear was gone! By the time the conference was over, I felt equal to any woman there. I had been delivered, set free from my afflictions! and I could hear Him call me Daughter. Then, comes morning. Feel free to read the blog, titled, “Where You lead, I Will Follow” if you haven’t already.