Father’s Day

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ (Romans 8:14-17)

I have a hard time reading all the Father’s Day comments on social media that people write regarding their earthly fathers because I never experienced those things. Matter of fact until I met Jesus I didn’t think I was ever wanted at all. Truth …until just 3 years ago I still wasn’t sure God the Father really loved me either.

Relationships can be hard at times for all people. There are so many types of relationships, some come natural and easy while others are a struggle and you find yourself in a constant battle trying to figure out how in the heck Jesus did this and how can I even come close to imitating Him in this area. I felt God must have been thinking that about me for years. Like, “what on earth is wrong with this girl? I know I don’t make mistakes, but …really? This girl, I have to question myself, what was I thinking when creating her.” But like I said 3 years ago I come to know God as my Father, the One TRUE Father. The one that loves unconditionally and without a spirit of shame, doubt or question. He knew exactly what He was doing when He created me and He said it was good. I am made in His image, so therefore I must be some kind of good, just saying.

I had been feeling less than adequate as a wife, mother, grandmother, friend, servant for God and a whole lot of, not the daughter I needed to be. I absolutely couldn’t take what I was going through a minute more. I didn’t go to church last week because of everything I was going through, actually I ended up going to therapy, two different times. Let me say right quick, therapy is okay. There was a time in my life I kept everything in and when it did come out it was like dynamite in a landmine. Today I wasn’t feeling like I wanted to be around a lot of people yet, so going to church wasn’t something I really wanted to do, but I knew I would only make matters worse if I didn’t go and I am SOooo glad I did. First the friendly faces and kind words from my church family was much needed, but then during worship, when I began to sing, the lyrics rose up inside of me lighting the fire, causing the flame to burn higher and hotter, for I was now back in relationship with my Father and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. See I had been writing a blog everyday since I began the breadandwater blog, but the last one I wrote was June 13th, eight days ago, which actually seemed like a month. I wasn’t feeling my Father’s love, hearing His voice, feeling His touch, so I couldn’t write. I chose to isolate. I did my daily chores and slept the rest of the time, until today. It’s Father’s Day and I am grateful I have a Father.

Now I would like to wish all the fathers out there a very Happy Father’s Day and even more so, a Happy Father’s Day to my Father, Abba! Father!