It’s Okay to Say NO

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Eph. 5:15-17)

Believers we have got to be careful how we live, making the most out of every opportunity, which sometimes is going to require us saying, “NO” so that we may be able to focus on what matters most. In the Bible “No” is considered as a vital part of stewardship, self-discipline, and healthy relationships. It is far from being a selfish act, it is often presented as a necessary boundary to protect our character, avoid burn-out, and make room to pursue God’s specific calling in our life. We need to use simple, direct, straightforward and honest communication with people. No need to over explain or try to make empty promises. Jesus said in (Matt. 5:37) “let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” We should have such integrity that our words are enough.

So here goes the transparency, I have failed once again in an area, this time in not saying NO when I should have. I saw a situation that was not good and along with my husband being in agreement with me, we made a decision to do something about it. Well naturally it must have been the right thing to do since we both agreed, right? BIG “NO” it was NOT. Now because of our “word,” that integrity thing, it has turned into a very unwise decision on our part. We were careless in our decision making and we were interfering in something we had no business in, well at least that’s what the Word of God says in Proverbs 26:17, we didn’t go looking for that scripture either. God is good at pointing things out to you when you are somewhere you shouldn’t be. Through heartfelt repentance for not seeking God first on the matter, I know He is going to provide a way for this to end well. He takes bad and turns it to good, for those who love Him. I love Him alright, I just make mistakes sometimes, good-hearted one in this case, but still the wrong one. A little more transparency into my life of not saying NO when I should. I was sick Saturday night and Sunday, I couldn’t go to church so I stayed home and watched online, double portion just because I could and God knew I needed a double that day. I was sick because I had been overdoing it. I wasn’t allowing my body to rest like it needed, I wasn’t eating properly, being on the go non stop. I wasn’t saying NO to things I was being asked to do or assumed by some that I would just be there to do it. I never want to disappoint anyone if they are counting on me and there were people counting on me. Well when you get to many people at one time counting on you, there is no rest for the weary. I became really weary and sick. Now I am having to recoup and the older you get it seems it takes longer to get back up once you get down. There is a solution to all of this; it’s saying, NO. Again no lengthy excuses why, just simply, No, sorry not this time. Sometimes I need a break, I need to focus on me or something that really matters in my life that I am continually putting off because I am to busy being a YES girl.

If you are anything like me, first let me pray for you, it’s hard being me. Seriously though, you can approach people in honesty and decline without making any elaborate excuses. Like me, I worry to much what others think, and not enough about my own well being and what the cost will be if I say yes every time. Saying NO is healthy. It takes the pressure off us, allows us to retreat to pray and refocus. I have gone as far as stepping away from my calling before simply due to the fact I couldn’t or wouldn’t say no. Say “NO’ to protect your values to. Stay away from negative influences, ungodliness, temptations, those things erode our character. Proverbs 4:23 teaches to “guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Being a “YES” girl has turned in to a poor habit that I am working to break. Yes is good when it is right, but No is good when it is the wrong thing to be doing. Phil. 4:6-7 is such good advice. Before we say or do anything we should PRAY and thank God and in turn we can have God’s peace. Y’all feel free to pray for me in this area of being able to say NO when necessary. Thanks in advance.

Author: Debbie Simmons

I am a Northerner by birth, a Southerner by choice. I moved from Michigan directly after High School to Texas, I currently live in Arkansas. I am married to the man that changed my whole outlook on relationships, together we share 4 children, 12 grandchildren and recently a great-grandchild, as well as many other children we call our own. I have been raising children all my adult life in one form or another, from my own, to fostering, to teaching at school & church and any that were just in need of a mom. l received salvation when I was 12 years old at vacation Bible school with my grandfather who was a Minister. I didn't find out what a Christian was until I was 33, that's when my life began to change. I have been studying the Word of God ever since, but more importantly I have come to know Him. I never had the daddy/daughter relationship with my earthly father, but I certainly do now with my heavenly Father. I can't even tell you how blessed I am to have come to the understanding of who I am because of what He has done. I know I am a sinner saved by grace and grateful for it. I am not where I want to be, but I also know I'm not where I used to be, Praise be to God! Currently I am retired and by the direction of the Holy Spirit I have been given an assignment to write, with great intention. That He, my Father might be glorified. View all posts by Debbie Simmons